ASHAMED OF MYSELF

Ava’s POV

How did she get that result? I asked myself before collapsing to the ground. The hall dissolved into chaos—screams, students running in every direction.

“Call the ambulance! Call the ambulance!” Mrs. Wilson shouted over her shoulder.

I lay on a bed in the school clinic. When I opened my eyes, Mrs. Forrest was sitting beside me.

“How are you feeling, Ava?” she asked, her voice low and calm.

I glanced at her, my heart sinking as the memory of the lab scene descended on me. Now the whole world knows about my pregnancy. What would become of me?

“Ava, how are you?” she asked again.

Tears slipped down my cheeks. She pressed a finger to her lips when I tried to speak, telling me to be quiet and rest.

I took her hands in mine. “Mrs. Forrest, I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused the school,” I whispered.

She held my hands firmly, insisting I save my strength and stop talking.

“I’ve spoken with the doctor. He said you’ll be discharged before 3 p.m. I’ll be waiting to have a word with you in my office.”

I nodded lightly. She rose from the chair, wiping her palms on her skirt as though she’d been sitting on a brick. She gave me one last look before leaving.

Tears blurred my vision.

Bryan came in with his head down, shoulders slumped. He sat in the chair Mrs. Forrest had just vacated. I wiped my face.

“Is it true?” he asked in a low, raspy voice. “Is it true you’re pregnant?”

I nodded, wiping the steady stream of tears that wouldn’t stop.

His eyes met mine. “How could you let that happen? You know the consequences, Ava. It’ll ruin your career.”

“Bryan, it wasn’t intentional. I—I just…” My voice trailed off as my emotions took over.

Bryan said nothing for a moment, pity creeping into his eyes. “Who’s responsible?”

“I don’t know,” I replied quietly.

His eyes widened. “What do you mean, Ava?”

My eyes filled again. “I—it was… Bryan—”

“I don’t get it…” He paused, clearly fighting disbelief. “Ava, if you can’t even name the father, then you should get rid of it. What if your aunt finds out? How… Like… oh, fuck!” he cursed, slamming his hand against the table beside him.

“Is everything alright?” a nurse asked as she stepped in.

“Miss Ava, are you okay?” she said, looking at me.

“Yeah,” I whispered.

“How do you feel?”

I nodded, wiping my face.

Bryan had already stepped out when the nurse arrived. “Miss Ava Williams, your baby is doing well. There’s nothing to worry about,” she said with a smile. “You’ll get some medication to keep you healthy and help you rest.” She handed me a small white nylon bag. Then she helped me up and told me to return to the clinic in three days for a check-up. I nodded and reached for the door.

Outside, Bryan was sitting in a corner. When he saw me, he stood. School was over for the day, so there was no need to return to class. We sat in the field—it was the coolest place to let the breeze blow away our worries.

“I thought I was going to have the most memorable sex of my life with the only man my heart beat for, but it didn’t turn out how I expected. Chris insisted on a threesome—said it was the only thing that would make him happy. I agreed, but I never thought it would result in me getting pregnant,” I confessed.

Bryan stared, shocked—not just at what I had allowed, but at my level of naivety.

“Please don’t blame me, Bryan,” I cried, shame burning through me.

“I’m not judging you, Ava. I’m not perfect either. I was just mad you got pregnant for God knows who!” He said, still struggling to believe what I was saying.

He was about to speak again when Dr. Dane’s call came in. I glanced at my phone. “Dr. Dane—the doctor from the hospital where I wanted to have my abortion,” I explained.

“Pick up and tell him you’ll come for the abortion today.”

“But I don’t even have the money,” I said, frustration twisting my face.

“How much will it cost?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I should call him and ask.”

“Yes, call him,” Bryan urged, his face set.

On the first ring, Dr. Dane answered.

“Hi, Ava. I’ve been calling to check on you.”

“I’m fine, Doc. I called to tell you I’ve made up my mind—I want the abortion today.”

He was silent for a moment.

“Are you there?” I pressed, determination in my voice.

“Yeah, sorry, the network cut out,” he said.

“How much will it cost?” I asked, cutting him off before he could continue.

“Ava, have you thought about this—”

“I’ve made up my mind, Doc,” I said sharply.

“If so, then no problem. Come to the hospital—I’m on seat,” he replied in a rough tone.

I ended the call. Bryan and I planned the next steps.

“I’ll have to go home and change, then catch up with you soon,” Bryan said as I lowered the phone from my ear.

At home, I flung my bag onto the bed in my room, rushed into the bathroom, and rushed back out. Without a shirt, I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my tummy. It wasn’t protruding yet—I didn’t look pregnant. Then the thoughts came, heavy and sudden, like the morning sun breaking through. I imagined myself with a big baby bump.

“I’m not ready to be a mother yet,” I whispered, shaking my head to clear the frightening images away. The door creaked open

Aunt Margaret stormed in, her face a mix of disbelief, annoyance, and frustration.

“So it’s true, Ava?” she asked, standing by the door.

My heart almost jumped out of my chest. I grabbed my shirt to cover my nakedness. My head spun—how could I have forgotten to lock the door? And why hadn’t Aunt Margaret bothered to knock?

“Ava!” she yelled, her eyes blazing with fury. “After everything I’ve done for you since your parents passed away, this is how you repay me, huh?” Her eyes glistened with tears.

“Aunt…”

“I might not have much, but I go out every day to work and make sure you’re fine. And this is it. I am disappointed, Ava,” she said, dropping to the ground and crying.

“I’m sorry, Aunt,” I whispered.

With my shirt still clinging to my bare skin, I walked closer to her, my legs weak and shaking.

Hot tears streamed down my face.

Would Aunt Margaret ever forgive me?