Chapter 16: Confession

Dalon

Rejena fits into me like she was made for me, or was I made for her as she is older? It doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is the fact that her lips taste like tomatoes and basil from the sauce that she had been tasting earlier. What matters is how soft her lips are, and how hard her nails are digging into my chest. Her back is arched, pressing harder into me as if she wasn’t to get as close to me as humanly possible.

I lick her lips, begging for access to her mouth and she opens up for me. My grab her legs right under her arse, and then lift her. She quickly wraps her legs around my hips and I feel like I am home. We pull apart to catch our breath, but instead of completely letting her go, I move my lips down her jaw, to her neck, sucking hard right under her ear, wanting to leave a mark on her, needing to show the world that this woman belongs to me.

“Jack.” She says, not moaning, but sounding withdrawn. I quickly pull away, not sure what I did wrong. Did she not want this?

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have.” I tell her, panic rising up in my chest. What if she hated it, what if I read her wrong?

“No, no, you definitely should have done exactly that.” She says, confusing me.

“Then why did you sound withdrawn, like you didn’t want it?” I ask her, feeling frustrated. What does she want?

“I wanted it, more than I can ever tell you, but what happens when this holiday comes to an end? What happens when we leave here? I am not the kind of woman that can get in bed with a man, and not be emotionally attached. I can’t sleep with you and not hate myself for giving that part of myself to someone that is probably going to forget me in a few months. I just,” I can see the tears in her eyes, but she sucks in a deep breath and then smiles. “I fall quickly, Jack. I don’t hold back when I start falling for someone and I really don’t want to hold back now, but I also don’t want to leave here and feel like I lost someone else that I fell in love with. I just can’t go in that direction.” She says and I finally understand.

“You don’t want to sit with a broken heart.” I state as a fact. “Honestly, at this point I will probably sit with one regardless of the fact that I get to be more with you than what I already am. I don’t think I can just walk away from here and never think about you again, Rejena.” I tell her honestly, already feeling a longing for more than what we can ever have.

“But you will, Jack. You will walk away after this week, and you will go back to your life. There is a whole world out there for you and in no time at all, I will be nothing but a fleeting memory.” She almost look like she wants to throw up, but she forces her smile to stay in place.

“You sound so sure, why Rejena? Is it me that you think so little of, or yourself?” I ask her, but I can see the answer in her eyes. She doubts her own worth, not mine.

“Come, we have a date that we need to get to.” She says, her shoulders dropped as she slowly pushes me away, I grab her hands and hold it to my chest with my one hand while I lift her chin with my other, forcing her head up. For a moment, we stay like that, her eyes focused on me. I slowly lower my head, giving her time to pull away, but she doesn’t. I kiss her slowly, wrapping my hand around her throat to keep her in place as I slowly explore her mouth. When I pull away, tears run down her cheeks.

“You are not someone I could possibly forget, Rejena.” I tell her, then turn around, pick up the food from the counter and walk out the door. I wait for her at the top of the stairs, giving her a moment to gather herself. When she comes out of the room, her face is clear of any tears aside from the red in her eyes, and she has the rest of her food in her hands. Her green dress flows behind her like the wind is playing with the material. She looks absolutely beautiful and even if I hate that she had cried, the red in her eyes makes her blue eyes give off a turquoise shine that is absolutely stunning. “So, who are we going on a date with?” I ask.

This is not how I expected to spend my night, but playing poker with five old Italian men, Mila and Rejena, turned out to be one of the best ways I could possibly spend my evening. Rejena is kicking arse, claiming it as beginners luck, but I have a suspicion that this is not her first time playing poker like she claims. She has a little pup curled up on her lap, the dog even falling in love with her within seconds of meeting her. I tried to take him from her, but the little shite tried to bite me the second I tried to take him, so I had left him on her lap, envious of all the attention she has been getting.

Every now and then, Rejena will move slightly closer to me, touching my arm with hers, brushing her leg against mine, almost like she needed to feel me in some way, and I have not complained once, because I have been craving every single touch from her. When she doesn’t touch me for more than ten minutes, I will find a reason to touch her, even if it is something as simple as touching her legs, as far away from the pup as possible.

Something changes when we kissed, and that need I have for her has been fueled. I want to super-glue her to my body so that she can never leave me, but like she had said earlier, I will be going back to my life soon and, no matter how badly I want her to be with me, she also has her own life that she can’t just give up to travel with me. Saying that she would give up her life to travel is easier than actually doing it.

At some point, Rejena excuses herself from the table, asking anyone if they needed something from the kitchen. Taking this as my opportunity to have a moment alone with her, I quickly excuse myself as well, explaining that I will help her. I don’t miss the knowing looks, but I also don’t care what they think they know.

When I make it into the kitchen, Rejena stands with her hands on the counter, her head hanging. When she hears me enter, she quickly turns around to look at me. “Jack.” I fucking hate that name coming from her lips, but I don’t correct her. We both seem to move at the same time, her arms wrapping around my neck and mine behind her legs, lifting her up and walking her back to the counter. It feels like I ama burning up from the inside out with this need to be closer to her. “Rejena.” I don’t know if I should tell her that we should stop, because she was right earlier, or if I want to beg her to never stop.

“Don’t. I just need you not to say anything. Just give me tonight. Nothing more than this, but just give me this tonight. Tomorrow we can go back to acting like we can be friends.” She says, and I hate that I have to agree to that, because I don’t know how to just go back to pretending to just be friends. Instead of saying anything, I kissed her harder.

When we finally break apart, Rejena moves me backwards and then jumps off the counter. She grabs the drinks everyone requested and then walks out the kitchen, looking over her shoulder at me with a dare in her eyes. For the rest of the evening, we find reasons to sneak off, kissing like kids around the corners, and secretly holding hands whenever we think no one is looking. When we make our way back to the guesthouse, we walk hand in hand, enjoying the quiet and the lights of the small town. Rejena doesn’t ask to go into my room, and I am thankful, because it is filled with workout equipment that might raise a few questions. She simply leads me into her room, and we spend hours talking about nothing that matters and making out in-between. By the time we fall asleep, the sun starts to peak out, and panic starts to claw at my chest. Tomorrow evening, I have to catch my flight back home and leave Rejena behind.

“My name is Dalon Sorrin. I am a race car driver for Formula 1, and I wish I could spend the rest of my life with you.” I tell her, but she is snoring softly, not hearing a word.

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