Chapter 14 – Fractures in the Bond

The first thing I felt when I wake up is not the pounding in my skull, nor the sour taste of whiskey that lingered on my tongue. It was the weight that I felt in my chest.It felt Heavy, dragging, relentless.

The room was filled with scent of her, it was soft, and smelled faintly of wildflowers and for a moment I let my eyes slip shut again, I wished the scent belong to someone else, I wished it was Sasha’s scent that cling onto the sheets not the quiet, unassuming fragrance of the human girl which fate had chained me to.

Beside me, Ella stirs. The bed shifts, and I crack an eye open. She lies curled on her side, her back to me, her shoulders stiff as stone. I know she’s already awake. I know for certain that she is, but she doesn’t turn, doesn’t utter a word. Her silence cuts deeper than any words could.

I sit up, dragging a hand through my hair. My head throbs. My chest burns. All I remember were fragments of the previous night. Her soft gasp, the way her body yielded beneath mine, the hurt which flickered in her eyes even as the bond dragged us together. I told myself it was just instinct, just biology. A mate bond doesn’t erase the truth in my heart, the truth that I love Sasha and I always will love Sasha.

But then why does guilt churn in my gut like rot?

I swing my legs off the bed, trying to reach for the glass of water on the nightstand, and I down it with a single swallow. I didn’t dare take a peek back at her. If I do so, I’ll see those eyes again, those eyes that look trusting, wounded, silently asking why. And I have no answer to give.

I dress quickly, trying to jerk my shirt all over my head, pulling on my boots with sharp tugs. The cabin feels all suffocating, it felt like the walls themselves were judging me. I shove the door open and step into the cool morning air, sucking in a breath like a drowning man trying to break the surface.

The pack stirs to life outside. The pack was busy, some were carrying crates across the yard while talking in low voices. Some glance at me and quickly look away, while others allow their gazes linger for a little while too long. I know what they are seeing, all they see is the Alpha’s son, who has been newly mated, walking out of the cabin alone at dawn with shadows under his eyes. They all whisper, which they have always done.

Sasha finds me near the training grounds.

“Cole.” Her voice sounded like honey, they were sharp around the edges. She steps close to me, her fingers brushing against my arm it was as though the bond between Ella and me doesn’t exist. As though the ceremony that happened last night was all a joke. “You look like you’ve been through hell.”

I grit my teeth. “This isn’t the right time, Sasha.”

She tilts her head, that smirk playing on her lips, the smirk was one that used to set my blood on fire. “What’s the matter? Did little Ella not live up to your expectations?”

Her words lance through me, and I hate myself for the way part of me wants to try to defend Ella. She wasn’t the one with the problem. I was.

“I said not now.” My voice comes out sharper than I intended for it to, it was low enough just for only her to hear me.

But Sasha wasn’t discouraged. She never is one to feel discouraged. “You don’t belong with her, Cole. Everyone can see it. It’s me you belong to. You’ve always belonged with me. You are mine, Cole” Her hand presses flat against my chest. For a brief moment, my body remembered the years of stolen kisses, secret nights, promised we whispered together.

And yet… all I can think of is the way Ella’s shoulders trembled when she thought I wasn’t looking at her. The way she bit her lip to keep them from breaking.

I shove Sasha’s hand off me. “That’s enough.”

Her eyes flashes with wounded pride making them hard. “Don’t pretend that you don’t still want me. Last night, You said it yourself in front of her. You told her you will never love her.”

The words I spat at Ella echoed in my skull, and for the first time, I wish I could take them all back. Not because the words spoken weren’t true, I don’t love Ella. I can’t. But because of the way she looked at me afterward, it looked as if I had crushed something fragile she’d been foolish enough to hold out to me.

Before she could say more, I decided to walk away from her. I left her standing rigid with fury.

The day drags by. I can’t focus on anything be it the patrol reports, the logistics my father shoves at me, even the matches at the training ground. My eyes always keep trying to sort out Ella. She moves across the pack grounds like a ghost, offering small smiles, quiet words and trying to fit in.

But I could see the uncertainty in her eyes. I see the way some wolves avert their gaze when she passes, the way others mutter just loud enough for her to hear. I should go to defend her. I should tell them she’s my mate, my wife, and that anyone who tries to disrespects her disrespects me.

Instead, all I do is to stay silent.

Because every time I try to open my mouth to claim her, the name that wants to come out isn’t hers. It’s Sasha’s.

By nightfall, My own thoughts have made me half-mad. I pour whiskey into a glass, down it, and pour another. The firelight flickers across the cabin walls, painting everything in restless shadows. Ella sits at the table, her sketchbook laying open in front of her. She doesn’t draw, doesn’t look at me, she just sits there with her pencil hovering above the page.

I could hear as the silence gnaws at me. I just couldn’t bear it anymore.

“You know I never wanted any of this,” I say, my voice rough.

She flinches, just barely, but still keep her eyes on the paper spread across her.

I stand, pacing. The whiskey loosens my tongue, pulling the truth from me like poison from a wound. “I didn’t choose any this, Ella. I didn’t choose you. Fate shoved you into my life like some cruel joke.”

At last, she looks up. Her eyes are wide, shining, but her face is steady. Stronger than I expected. “Neither did I choose this.”

Her words strike me deeper than any blade could.

I laugh bitterly, running a hand down my face. “I have always love Sasha, probably always will. That’s just the truth. Whatever this is between us—it’s nothing compared to what I feel for her.”

The air between us hums with everything that was left unsaid.

I want to tell her I’m sorry. That I didn’t mean for any of this to go this way. That every time I touch her, I feel something that I don’t understand, and it terrifies me.

But the words choke in my throat.

Instead, I grab the bottle and pour again, letting the burn of alcohol drown the guilt clawing up my ribs. I stumble toward the bed, collapsed onto it with a groan. The room spins. My chest aches, my head throbs, and through the haze I hear her soft footsteps moving to the other side of the cabin.

Before sleep could drag me under, I think I whispered Sasha’s name.

And even as darkness claims me, the image that lingers isn’t Sasha’s face. It’s Ella’s face, the way her eyes always look innocent, her silent strength that seems to be brewing, and the way her pain cuts me deeper than my own.