Love or Lust

Shocked at his expressions. His hair tickled my face, making me chuckle. I cringely avoided his gaze. I wanted to act cool, mature and slightly pissed off for a while, but a chill ran through me when I thought of the tiny, sexy smile he gave me. I simply glanced up at him, his eyes gleaming in amusement as he stood, looming over me. But he wasn't smiling anymore. I gasped in shock. 

"Of course baby... I'm doing great! Am I not looking good to you..?"

"Really..? If you were, would I be asking..? 

His statement didn't sit well with me. I wanted to slap the grin off of his face, but instead I closed my eyes, pretending to be upset. 

"Hey baby! Please don't start now, okay. I'm doing just fine..." He said, smirking.

I shifted my gaze from him to the floor, I could have easily gotten angry, but decided to play along. A short gasp escaped my lips as I turned back to look at his chest and noticed the new markings. 

"W-what's this?" I asked, directing my fingers to his chest, my fingers lingering on it for a long moment. 

"Just a scar from a long time injury." He replied, as he shrugged his shoulders. I had no idea what those marks meant and yet I wanted it to be that I liked them. I continued, twirling my fingers in a back and forth motion, trying to know more about it.

Pulling my hands away, he cuddled me in a warm embrace and kissed my forehead. I frowned, realizing what I wanted in the moment he was holding me. 

"I don't want to lose you.." he said with a shaky voice, bringing my hands up to his face and immediately regretted his statement as I threw my head back and laughed. 

Initially, he appeared worried about it but the laughter put a smile on his face. I chuckled along with him as we held each other tightly. But it wasn't because of the laughter, rather it was something else, something I didn't even know I was feeling. Something I didn't even want in my world and that was the minute I felt connected to him even more. I have no words to describe it, that was just magic and I didn't want anything to ruin it. My heart swelled with joy and love drowning out everything else. As the world fell away, I fell into him.

All thoughts disappeared as I felt our lips slowly kissing each other. I wasn't thinking at all, so maybe it wasn't really possible. All I knew was that he was breathing on me and that it felt good. His mouth was moving over mine with tenderness and just the right amount of pressure to make me feel aroused. I was overwhelmed with emotions.

"Can w-we...go out tonight?" I asked, leaving him breathless as I tried to break our kiss, acting like I wasn't enjoying it cos I wanted him to desire me.

"Sure baby!" He paused, smirking. "Anything for your happiness, my angel."

I knew what he was doing, but I didn't care. I meant it, I didn't care about anything, I just wanted this amazing man to take me out on a date, even though he insisted initially that I was still kind of young to be spoiled. I've always been the one pushing, yet he was always denying me, until that fateful iced tea splashed on my face and I was left with what I had always begged for. 

I held his gaze for a moment, but he broke it, and then began walking to the door. I heard him say something, but it was too faint for me to understand. Walking towards him, but he stopped me. Trust me when I said I still continued to push on and when I got to the door, his hand went between my shoulder blades to turn me back.

He moved his hand up to my back, but stopped short, looked into my eyes and said, "I'll be back soon, Cilia." His words kept ringing in my ears as I watched him walk through the door. Next, the door slammed shut. "I wondered how long I could stand to be seen with the guy who wanted nothing to do with me. Was I going to keep on hanging out with him, or should I just let him go... and move on..?" I said to myself.

****

I hopped out of my bed as quickly as I could and stumbled across my hardwood floor. "Oh shit, it's another dream again. Can't a girl have a dream without seeing that same face again..?" I flinched as I leaned against the wall of my bed. "Damn! It just occurred to me now, but fuck, I really need a new dream!" 

When I realized I was fully awake, my nose was wet with the smell of a sweet perfume, and my eyes hurt. I slowly stretched my hand, reaching for my bedside lamp and switched it on. The colors of the room seemed faded as the light hit my eyes, but the faint blue light seemed to offer enough illumination. When my fingertips touched the cool surface of the lamp, I didn't feel the slightest bit of warmth, despite the color indicating it was a lightbulb. I gasped, and dropped my hand back to my side.

At the sound of my breath, the wind blew a gust of cold air through the broken widow, making me shiver. I could feel the presence of something or someone around me, but couldn't see anything. My stomach began to rumble loudly in my ears, my right arm felt tingly, the feeling of my fingers exploring the cool glass softly tugging at my skin, and I tried to reach out to the lamp again but couldn't. 

"This rumbling stomach again..? Gosh! I hate this! It's so discomforting. Fuck!" I released, holding back my breath so I wouldn't throw up. 

Suddenly, a shadow moved past me, swiftly in my room, but I couldn't see any face displayed. "Oh... My... God...!!!" I screamed so loudly, but softly, but in a blink, it disappeared. In the snap of an eye, I saw myself lying comfortably on my bed. My eyes widened as my phone rang and my hand clutched it so tightly.

"What's the matter Cilia, your voice?

"Oh Melinda, it's you! I just saw him again in my dreams, and as I woke up this place became so terrifying for me!"

"Hold on Cilia! You're beginning to think too much that's why! Just relax your nerves, I'll be right there first thing in the morning!" 

"Melinda… I'm scared of this place!"

"Calm down girl, you don't have to be. Before you know it, it's morning already, and I'll be right there. Okay?!"