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Straitlaced Teens and Those In-Between

“Aaagh!  Why are immortals so frigging complicated?”

“Would you rather we fit neatly into little mortal boxes?” He spoke in a falsetto: “Hello, boys and girls!  My name's Satan!  I'm the Prince of Darkness and Evil Incarnate.  That nice old man over there with a white beard is God.  He's your Father, and if you don't believe in him, you'll burn in Hell forever.  I'll torture you and roast you up good until your flesh melts on my teeth.   Doesn't that sound wonderful?  And look over there, at that dead man on a cross- it's Jesus.  His Father killed him so he could die for your sins.”

“What's a sin, Jimmy?  Why, you're all born filthy little brats with Sin inside of you like an STD, passed on through sex from the Original Stinking Sin.   And no matter how much you bathe, that Sin never goes away, not until you accept Jesus into your hearts.  Come, children, kne

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