Chapter 5 - Regrets

AMBER.

“I didn’t say you were not capable of going to that room on your own, but this is not your party to ruin! So stop snapping at anyone, and let’s get you out of here!” 

I didn’t even give him time to object, and my eyes avoided everyone as I was not sure if I could get away with snapping at an Alpha in a crowded room. I moved toward his back, and Beta Arlo stepped aside immediately. 

As soon as I grabbed the handles of his chair, I rolled him away from the ballroom, and I was glad no one had stopped me. 

Zach didn’t say a thing. I was not sure if he was surprised or if he felt ashamed of his actions. 

Everyone tiptoed around him like they were not allowed to reprimand him for being an ass, but I was so done with all this crap. There’s a place for coddling him, but definitely not here, not when we’re supposed to be celebrating Catherine and Tyler’s union. 

He remained quiet while we were inside the elevator, but I could see him looking at me through our reflections on the elevator door. I avoided his stare, letting my eyes focus on the numbers until we reached the sixth floor. 

I brought him to the room that Eva and I were supposed to share, but we didn’t want it. Instead, we moved to Cassidy’s room, which had a better view from the balcony, and this room was left empty.

I left him in the middle of the room before closing the door. 

“You can leave,” he said in a voice devoid of any emotion. 

“Not yet. I want to talk.”

“I’m sure you heard what I said. I’m tired. I want to rest.”

“You can rest. I’ll do all the talking,” I said as I pulled the curtains open. 

“Close the damn curtains!” His voice was higher. 

I swiftly turned around and faced him. “No one can see you from this window! So what now? Are you hiding from the moon as well?”

“I said fucking leave my room.” He was not shouting, but there was firmness in it.

“And if I don’t want to?” I asked, my eyebrows raised. I could walk away and forget about this, but a part of me wanted to infuriate him more. 

“Leave my room!” he growled lowly, his hands gripping his chair, and there I felt it. His Alpha command rolled off his body and reached mine. 

My hands coiled into tight fists as I fought off his command. I had never encountered one. This was the first time. I knew defying it would be painful. But there was no way I would leave this room without any answers.

“Stop it!” I yelled, my body beginning to tremble as my head exploded with pain. 

“Get out. It’s the only way that pain will stop.” His voice was back to normal, and the shrugging of his shoulders as if he didn’t care was more painful than the one erupting in my head and in my chest.

“Fuck you, Zachary!” I cursed him under my breath, but I knew he heard it. 

He rolled his wheelchair backward, heading for the door with a smug smirk on his face. “I can open the door for you, Princess Amber.”

Tears pooled in my eyes, and when my sight became blurry, I swiftly turned around and headed for the balcony door. 

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m getting out of this room through the balcony! I’ll jump if I need to!” I yelled back as I slid the door open. 

“So what? Jumping without a fucking wolf?” His voice raised again. 

I turned around and saw him approaching the balcony. “Yes! If you want me out, then I’ll be gone, not just from your room but  for the rest of your life!” I yelled at him.

I felt the pain in my head as well as in my chest subside. I didn’t hear him take back the command, but he might have done it discreetly. 

“Get in!” He growled. 

“No!”

“Get in!”

“If I want to jump, I will fucking jump to death, and you can’t tell me not to!” We were yelling back and forth, and it felt good to curse him. 

His eyes watered as his hand raised, his finger pointed at me. “You… have no fucking right to use death as a threat to make people obey your tantrums!”

His face was stoic, but I could hear the intensity of his words, and for some reason, it hit me hard. 

“I… didn’t sacrifice my feet to keep you alive for you to joke around about taking your life!”

His words left me cold as guilt coursed through my veins.

“Zach…” 

“Get in!”

I moved quickly, stepping inside the room as he rolled himself backward before turning around and heading for the door again. 

“I just want to talk!” This time, my voice was pleading. 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Amber.”

“Didn’t you say it’d be us until the end?”

“I did my part. That was the end.” He turned around again, and his expression returned to that poker face I hated. 

I bit my bottom lip as I approached him, reminding myself not to lash out at him. 

“Do you regret saving me, Zach?” I finally asked the question that had been bothering me for a year. 

“Yes,” he responded almost immediately, and despite the pain in my chest, I remained standing straight. 

A part of me wanted to walk away, knowing he was a lost cause, but another part of me wanted to believe he didn’t mean what he said.

“We can start over again. It doesn’t matter to me that you can’t walk. I’ll be your feet, I’ll be...” I forced a smile, and I thought I was saying the right things, but it only infuriated him more. 

“Can you hear yourself? No one is asking you to pay forward what I did for you. Especially not to me. I’m over it.”

“I didn’t say I was paying it forward.”

“Look at me, Amber! Look at what kind of life I have! I can’t fucking move my feet!”

“Zach…” I walked toward him, but he moved back until he reached a desk. He grabbed the pen on it, and his next action terrified me. 

“These legs are fucking useless!” He began stabbing one leg repeatedly. “I can’t even feel anything!”

I began screaming, frozen in my spot. “No! Please, please!” My hands raised, but I couldn’t move. 

“Everything is about you! I tried for so long, but this is where it all led me to! I regret that night! And I hate you!” He was growling, his hand continuously pounding on his thigh as blood soaked his pants.