Despair (2)

~Elizabeth~

Sometimes, I wondered what I would do if Oliver ever cheated on me?

Take a divorce like Elliotte had been pushing me to do? Or confront Oliver about his affair and have a serious talk with him?

But then, I had always pushed away such doubtful thoughts out of my head by force, and believed that Oliver wouldn’t stoop that low to destroy our marriage.

Now here I was, witnessing his affair in our small bedroom.

The sight of him in pleasure, utterly bare and glistening with sweat.

‘’Ahn...Ahn! Y-Yes! There Oli....There!’’ The woman underneath him moaned out in ecstasy as he burrowed deep inside her with groans.

Oli...An intimate nickname he claimed from her lips.

‘’Haha....You like that Vivian?’’ Oliver laughed hoarsely, increasing his speed.

And I just stood by the door without a word, watching them.

I witnessed my husband enjoying himself with a woman who wasn’t his wife.

A part of me screamed to slam door open and confront the adulterous pair. The other part of me whispered that I should do nothing and leave quietly as if nothing happened, like a dream.

Or a nightmare.

....This must be a dream. I couldn’t help but side with my second inner voice. Oliver having an affair before my gaze was definitely a bad dream...my worst nightmare.

‘’Ahn!’’ As if mocking my thought, the woman let out a loud moan.

My first inner voice sneered.

Fool!

And perhaps I was.

After all, here I was, watching my husband have an affair and I deluded myself into thinking it was a dream.

What a fool I was...or I have been....right?

A moment later, I silently turned away from the sight of Oliver enjoying himself. I headed for the small living room and simply sat on the old sofa, my eyes meeting the reflection of my figure on the television screen.

Though the television was an old version and its screen was cloudy, it was clear enough for me to make out my own figure.

‘’You’re looking dull, haggard and older for a 25 years’ old.’’ Elliotte’s voice echoed in my mind.

As if on cue, intimate scenes of the beautiful, young woman always by Oliver’s side resurfaced in my mind, taunting me. It was as though they were mocking me for no longer looking young and beautiful.

Even though, I was in my mid-20s.

‘’....is it time to let go, Liz?’’ I whispered to my reflection on the television screen.

Silence met my question.

Of course, my reflection couldn’t possibly talk back to me.

But then, I think I knew the answer deep down inside in my heart.

It has always been there, ever since my marriage with Oliver wasn’t as exciting and happy as before. I have always tried to be optimistic, thinking we still had each other as family. But this affair was like a wake-up call.

I couldn’t to be as optimistic as before, not when the scene of Oliver deep inside another woman was permanently etched in my head.

With a choice in mind, I remained blankly, staring at my reflection on the television screen. My head conflicting with many thoughts as I decided to wait for Oliver and that woman to come down.

Was it a foolish decision to wait for my cheating husband rather than confront his affair?

Perhaps it was.

I guess I’ve always been a fool when it came to Oliver.

That’s what love does to a woman in my opinion.

Turn her to a fool for a man she loves.

Even as our marriage wasn’t as happy as before, my feelings still remained for Oliver. And in the past, I felt his feelings still remained for me, or else he would have left a long time ago.

But now...I wasn’t sure if Oliver still loved me as he did from high school.

The hands of the clock kept moving until the sound of footsteps overwhelmed the ticking sound.

‘’Shit...’’ My ears picked up Oliver’s curse. ‘’I have get Vivian out here before Liz.....’’ His words died down as our gazes met in the air.

‘’Liz....’’ His eyes grew wide in panic.

Somehow, I found the sight laughable. What was there to panic when I’ve caught him red-handed?

Even his appearance was an evidence.

Shirtless and wearing his office pants with hickeys over his neck.

‘’Y-You came home early today?’’ Oliver stuttered as he closed the distance between us, stopping a few feet away from the sofa.

I simply watched him in silence.

‘’It’s midnight, Oliver.’’ I pointed out after a moment, holding his guilty gaze.

‘’Midnight?’’ His eyebrows shot up. He glanced at clock on the cracked wall. ‘’Oh...I see.’’

‘’I see?’’ I echoed softly, rising to my feet until I stood-face-to-face with him, my head barely reaching his shoulders. I then whispered. ‘’Oliver, I saw.’’

He said nothing.

 ‘’I always had my suspicions, but you acted as if I was making a big deal out of nothing.’’ I continued. ‘’Turns out, there was something, Oliver.’’

A heavy silence settled between us after my words. Oliver remained silent and his silence crushed the last of my hope I had for him.

A part of me wanted to him to share an imaginary story like the woman had drugged him or he was coerced into sleeping with her...but now, his silence had shattered that little hope in my heart.

 ‘’How long have you been seeing her?’’ I asked, forcing my voice not to tremble. Now, I knew I was a fool for having such an unpleasant hope.

‘’Liz.....’’ He called out my nickname.

‘’How long, Oliver?’’

‘’Liz, listen...I can explain—‘’

‘’How long, Oliver?!’’ I demanded, my voice higher than I intended. I did not want to listen his excuses anymore. The chance for him to explain had gone.

Oliver didn’t give an answer. He only held my eyes, and perhaps, feeling guiltier, he averted them.

‘’Oli?’’ A voice called out after a moment of silence. I instinctively looked past Oliver to the door of our bedroom. There wasn’t another person in our apartment....except her.

‘’Who are you talking to?’’

The woman my husband cheated on me with. Soft sound of footsteps reached my ears before she emerged from the bedroom, and our eyes met.

....It’s her. Familiarity struck me instantly. She was the same beautiful, young woman I had always smiling with Oliver.

I glanced at my husband, recalling his past words about my jealousy.

Somehow, I was not surprised to see she was the one. The signs had always been there, pointing to their affair.

The woman’s eyebrows furrowed as she approached us...or rather me. She stood beside Oliver, making them appear like a natural pair.

‘’Who are you?’’ She questioned sharply, wearing a white T-shirt I recognized as Oliver’s.

And perhaps one of the shirts I had worn in the past too.

 ‘’Who is she, Oli?’’ She turned to Oliver when I did not give an answer. My eyes also moved Oliver. I wanted to see how he would explain to her.

Oliver met my gaze first before turning to the woman’s.

‘’Vivian....’’ He started with her name, but the woman, Vivian, swiftly cut him off as though realizing something.

 ‘’Oh wait...’’ Our eyes met again. ‘’You’re that woman Oli’s paying her debt for. His older sister or cousin, I believe.’’

What?

Her debt?

His older sister?

I snapped my gaze to Oliver silently seeking for an explanation, but he merely squeezed his eyes shut, unable to meet mine, and dropped his head low.

That action told me everything.

Oliver had lied to Vivian about who I was....or rather claimed that he was single and paying ‘’his older sister’s’’ debt.

‘’You do look the part.’’ I looked back to Vivian eyeing me up and down. She then turned to Oliver. ‘’Is she the woman holding you back, Oli?’’

‘’When you brought me here after work sometimes, I always thought a man like you shouldn’t be living in this poor neighborhood.’’ Her words continued to crush the fragile pieces of my heart beating for Oliver. ‘’Now that she’s here, it’s obvious she’s the reason.’’

I am the reason?

For a holding a man like Oliver to this poor neighborhood?

His wife?

It wasn’t her first time in this apartment?

‘’How much is your debt?’’ The woman asked me.

‘’...W-What?’’ My voice trembled, betraying the strong front I was trying to maintain before Oliver.

‘’Your debt, how much is it?’’ She asked again before saying. ‘’If I give you the money, cut off ties with Oli and promise never to see him again.’’