Chapter 2 - The Alpha's Desperation

KAI POV

The messenger came back empty-handed, and I knew before he even opened his mouth what Elara's answer was.

"She said no, Alpha." The young wolf looked nervous, like he expected me to tear his throat out for delivering bad news. Three years ago, I probably would have. "Alpha Reed was very clear. She said to tell you..." He swallowed hard. "She said to go to hell. That you're not welcome in Shadow Creek territory."

Something in my chest twisted painfully. Not the mate bond, that had been dead and rotting for three years. This was something worse. Guilt. Regret. The sick awareness that I'd destroyed the best thing the Moon Goddess had ever given me, and now I was paying for it.

"Dismissed," I said, my voice coming out rougher than I intended. The messenger practically ran from my office.

I slumped back in my chair and dragged a hand through my hair. What the hell had I expected? That Elara would just forgive and forget? That she'd come running because I needed her? I'd rejected her. Publicly humiliated her. Let my pack treat her like dirt for years before that. Of course she told me to go to hell. I deserved worse.

My wolf Titan snarled in my mind, restless and angry. He'd been like this ever since the rejection, unstable and aggressive, barely controllable. Rejecting our fated mate had broken something fundamental in both of us. Wolves weren't meant to survive rejected mate bonds. The fact that we had was a miracle, but we were paying for it. Every day I felt Titan's rage building, his instincts fractured and wrong.

The office door slammed open without warning. I didn't even flinch anymore. Melissa had stopped bothering with basic courtesy about six months ago.

"Another family is leaving," she announced, stalking across my office like she owned it. Once upon a time, I'd thought she was beautiful. Perfect. Everything an Alpha's mate should be. Now all I saw was the bitterness etched into every line of her face. "The Davisons just packed up and headed for Alpha Cornelius's territory. That makes fifteen families this month."

"I'm aware." I was painfully aware. Thornwood Pack was bleeding members like a wounded animal, and I had no idea how to stop it. Wolves didn't respect weak leadership, and right now I was the definition of weak. My pack was under constant attack from rogues, our borders were collapsing, and my chosen Luna couldn't even produce an heir to secure our future.

Melissa's hands clenched into fists. "This is your fault. If you'd just completed the bond properly instead of being hung up on some pathetic omega—"

"Don't." The word came out as a growl. "Don't talk about her."

"Why not? She's the reason we're in this mess!" Melissa's voice rose, shrill and grating. "You rejected her but you never moved on. You marked me but you won't complete the bond. I've done everything you asked, Kai. Everything. And you still look at me like I'm second choice."

Because she was. That was the brutal truth neither of us wanted to acknowledge. I'd chosen Melissa because she was strong, well-connected, from a good bloodline. Everything my parents and pack elders said I should want in a Luna. But she wasn't my mate. She'd never been my mate. And every time I looked at her, some part of me recoiled.

"The bond is complete enough," I said, even though we both knew it was a lie. A true mate bond required the full claiming, the blood exchange, the sacred ritual that bound two wolves together for life. Melissa and I had done the public ceremony, the marking, but I'd never been able to go through with the rest. Something in me refused. Titan wouldn't let me.

"Is it?" She laughed, bitter and sharp. "Then explain why I'm not pregnant. Explain why every healer we've consulted says there's nothing physically wrong with me. Explain why your wolf won't even look at me anymore."

I didn't have an answer for that. The truth was, Titan had checked out of our relationship entirely. He wanted nothing to do with Melissa, refused to acknowledge her as our mate, and actively fought me every time I tried to be intimate with her. It was humiliating for both of us.

"I'm doing everything I can," I said, knowing it sounded weak.

"Are you? Because it seems like you're too busy pining after the omega who ran away." Melissa crossed her arms. "Did you really send a messenger to beg her for help? How pathetic are you, Kai?"

My temper flared. "Watch your tone. I'm still your Alpha."

"Barely." She said it quietly, but the words hit like a punch. "Half the pack thinks you're losing your mind. The other half is already looking for new leadership. If we don't fix this soon, there won't be a Thornwood Pack left to lead."

She was right. I hated it, but she was right. Thornwood was crumbling, and I was the reason. I'd inherited this pack from my father two years ago, and in that time I'd managed to drive it into the ground. Attacks from rogues we couldn't repel. Families leaving for safer territories. Resources dwindling. Internal conflicts I couldn't resolve. I was failing at the one thing Alphas were supposed to do: protect their pack.

And the worst part? I knew exactly when it all started going wrong. Three years ago. The night I rejected Elara Reed.

"Get out," I told Melissa. "I have work to do."

"Work." She scoffed. "Right. Like sitting in your office brooding is going to save us." But she left, slamming the door hard enough to rattle the frame.

I waited until her footsteps faded before dropping my head into my hands. Everything was falling apart. My pack, my leadership, my sanity. And the one person who might be able to help me wanted nothing to do with me.

Beta James knocked once before entering. He at least still showed me some basic respect, even though I probably didn't deserve it. We'd been friends since childhood, which meant he was one of the few wolves who'd tell me the truth when I was screwing up.

"Another breach on the eastern border," he reported, his expression grim. "Three rogues this time. We drove them off but Torres got hurt pretty bad. Dr. Chen is with him now."

"Casualties?"

"Not yet. But it's only a matter of time, Kai." James moved closer, lowering his voice. "The pack is scared. They don't understand why we can't defend our own territory. And honestly? Neither do I. These attacks are too coordinated, too frequent. Someone is targeting us specifically."

I'd thought the same thing. Random rogue attacks were one thing. This was something else. Someone wanted Thornwood Pack destroyed, and they were doing a damn good job of it.

"Any word on who's behind it?" I asked.

"Nothing solid. But there are rumors." James hesitated. "Some of the rogues we've captured mentioned a bounty. Said someone's paying good money to destabilize our territory."

A bounty. Someone was literally paying wolves to attack us. The question was who, and why.

"Keep investigating," I said. "And double the patrols on all borders. I don't care if we have to run them in shifts around the clock. No more breaches."

"With what wolves? Half our fighters have left, Kai. The ones who stayed are exhausted and demoralized. We need help. We need allies." James met my eyes. "We need Alpha Reed."

There it was again. Elara. The solution to all my problems, if I could just convince her to give me the time of day. Which, given what I'd done to her, seemed about as likely as the moon falling out of the sky.

"She refused the meeting," I said flatly.

"Then go to her yourself." James made it sound simple. "Swallow your pride, get on your knees if you have to, and beg. Because if we don't get help soon, there won't be a pack left to save."

The idea of crawling to Elara, of facing her after what I'd done, made my stomach turn. Not because I was too proud. Because I knew I deserved whatever hatred she threw at me, and I wasn't sure I could handle seeing it in her eyes. Those silver-gray eyes that had looked at me with so much hope once, before I'd crushed it.

Titan stirred again in my mind, aggressive and restless. My wolf had been wrong ever since the rejection. Unstable. Sometimes I worried he'd lose control completely and I'd end up hurting someone. The mate bond rejection had fractured something essential in both of us, and I didn't know how to fix it.

"She won't see me," I said.

"Make her." James's expression hardened. "I know what you did to her, Kai. The whole pack knows. And yeah, it was wrong. But right now, pride doesn't matter. Our pack is dying. If there's even a chance she'll help, you have to try."

He was right. I hated it, but he was right. I'd made this mess, and now I had to fix it. Even if that meant facing the female I'd destroyed.

"Fine." I stood, decision made. "I'll go to Shadow Creek myself. If she throws me out, at least I'll have tried."

James looked relieved. "When?"

"Tomorrow morning." No point delaying the inevitable. "Keep things running here. If I'm not back in three days, assume she killed me and find a new Alpha."

He didn't laugh. Neither of us thought I was really joking.

After James left, I tried to focus on pack business. There were reports to review, decisions to make, problems that wouldn't solve themselves. But my mind kept wandering back three years, to a moment I'd replayed a thousand times in my head.

Elara, standing in the ceremony hall in a simple white dress. She'd looked so small, so fragile. Her long dark hair had been pulled back, showing off the delicate lines of her face. And her eyes. Those silver-gray eyes had looked at me with something that might have been hope. Like maybe, just maybe, having a fated mate would change things for her.

I'd felt the bond snap into place the moment I'd seen her. Felt Titan roar with recognition and joy. Mate. Ours. Perfect.

But I'd also felt the horrified stares of my pack. Heard the whispers. Seen my mother's face go pale with shock and disgust. Elara Reed. The omega. The lowest-ranked wolf in Thornwood, the one everyone treated like dirt. She'd been wolfless, or so we all thought. Weak. Pathetic. Everything an Alpha's mate shouldn't be.

And I'd been a coward. Instead of defending her, instead of honoring the bond the Moon Goddess gave us, I'd rejected her. I'd looked into those hopeful silver eyes and said the words that would haunt me forever.

I, Alpha Kai Thornwood, reject you, Elara Reed.

The hope had died in her eyes instantly. I'd watched it happen, watched her face crumble, watched her grab her chest like I'd physically stabbed her. The bond had shattered between us, agony ripping through both our bodies. And then something impossible had happened.

Light had exploded from Elara's body. Gold and silver and blindingly bright. Power had rolled off her in waves, more power than I'd ever felt from any wolf. Her eyes had gone pure gold, and I'd heard her wolf's howl. Not weak. Not pathetic. Ancient and furious and so damn powerful that half my pack had dropped to their knees in instinctive submission.

She'd been a True Alpha. The rarest bloodline in existence, thought to be extinct. And I'd rejected her.

She'd run that night. Disappeared into the darkness bleeding and broken, and I'd let her go. Told myself it was for the best. Convinced myself I'd made the right choice. Then I'd marked Melissa two days later, trying to prove to everyone that I'd moved on.

But I hadn't. Not really. Three years later and I still remembered the way Elara's eyes had looked when I'd destroyed her. Still felt Titan's rage and grief over losing our mate. Still woke up some nights from dreams where I'd made a different choice.

Too late now. The damage was done, and all I could do was try to minimize the fallout. Even if that meant groveling to the female I'd wronged.

I looked at the map of Thornwood territory spread across my desk. Red marks showed where attacks had happened. Our borders were swiss cheese at this point, vulnerable and barely defended. Shadow Creek territory sat at the edge of the map, small but stable. Elara had built that pack from nothing in three years. Three years, and she'd created something strong and healthy while I'd driven my inherited pack into the ground.

She'd become everything I should have recognized she was from the start. And I'd been too blind, too proud, too scared of what people would think to see it.

Titan snarled in my mind again, frustrated and furious. My wolf wanted his mate back. Wanted to track her down and claim her the way we should have three years ago. But that wasn't an option anymore. The bond was severed. Elara had clearly moved on with her life. And I had no right to disrupt that, no matter how much Titan raged about it.

Still. I had to try. For my pack. For the wolves counting on me to keep them safe. Even if Elara hated me, even if she told me to go to hell to my face, I had to try.

I pulled out a fresh piece of paper and started writing. A formal request for a meeting. A plea for help, as much as my pride could stand to write. An acknowledgment that I had no right to ask her for anything, but I was asking anyway.

The words felt inadequate. How did you apologize for destroying someone's life? How did you ask for help from someone you'd brutally rejected?

You didn't. But I was going to anyway, because I was desperate and out of options and rapidly running out of time.

Tomorrow I'd cross into Shadow Creek territory and face Elara Reed. The female I'd rejected. The True Alpha I'd been too stupid to recognize. The mate I'd lost forever because of my own cowardice.

And if she killed me for showing up, well. I probably had it coming.