Halfway Down Highway One, I Stopped Loving Him

"You and Zoe have been everywhere and seen everything.

"Nolan, do you even remember this is supposed to be our anniversary trip?"

He frowned, like I'd made some ridiculous demand.

"I told you when you said you wanted to come to California.

"Zoe and I came here a bunch of times. I'm not really into it anymore. You're the one who insisted.

"So what's the problem now?"

I didn't say anything else. I just watched the waves rise and crash like wild animals.

When the tenth wave broke against the shore, Nolan gave in.

He rubbed his nose and sighed. "If you insist on going, then we'll go."

Every time I got angry enough to give up, he'd offer me a little hope again. A meek "I'm sorry." A few heated kisses and hugs. A resigned "Whatever you want"... Just enough to make me believe we were still in love.

But the way he acted made it clear how little he wanted to be there.

Nolan sat in the passenger seat and barely left the car. He propped his head on one hand, bored by everything.

After driving for a long while, we stopped at an elephant seal rookery.

A couple next to us was gushing over how cute the baby seals were. They asked me to take their picture.

With his hands in his pockets, Nolan said casually, "Go up a little farther. There's a hill.

"Zoe found it. She said it's the best spot for pictures."

It really was beautiful. I'd seen their photo from this spot. The blue sea and sky spread behind them, and a red scarf looped around both their necks.

He'd kept that photo tucked inside the cardholder he used every day.

Back then, I'd gone white as a sheet and confronted him with the photo.

He'd just patted my head and said in that soothing tone he always used, "It's been in there so long, I forgot to take it out."

The woman rose onto her toes with a smile while her boyfriend tucked her windblown hair behind her ear. I paused with the phone raised, then pressed the shutter.

Nolan looked down as he adjusted his camera, then asked quietly, "Want me to take one of you?

"Zoe taught me how to adjust the settings. She said it gives the photos a clear, bright look."

I was so mad I almost laughed out loud.

How could someone who wasn't even here be everywhere?

"Nolan, why do you always bring up Zoe?

"Does she have to be part of our relationship?"

I lifted my chin and stared at him, determined to get an answer.

He looked taken aback, his voice thick with impatience. "What's wrong with you now?

"I've told you so many times. Zoe and I are over!"

His chest heaved. With an angry kick, he sent a can skittering across the sand.

"Nolan?"

A woman's voice called out from down the beach, as familiar as a nightmare.

Nolan's gaze swung toward the voice as if he couldn't help himself. Zoe stood in a white polka-dot dress, surrounded by a few of their old college friends.

His frown smoothed away, and his eyes even crinkled with delight.

"Zoe!" He strode toward her.

Watching them, I realized Nolan had given me his answer long ago. I'd just never been willing to admit it.

It wasn't that Zoe had to be part of our relationship.

It was that Nolan couldn't live his life without her.

At that moment, I didn't feel crushed. Strangely, I felt only relief, as if I'd finally solved a puzzle that had been bothering me for two years.

I turned my back and called my best friend, Aliya Brooks.

By the time she picked up, the tears were already running down my face.

"Aliya, does your theater studio still need an assistant?"

Aliya went so quiet that I thought the call had dropped.

"Ella, aren't you on your anniversary trip right now?"

"Yeah."

"You're sure you want to come to Savannah? You've been in love with Nolan since high school. You moved to New York for him and gave up the chance to continue studying theater. Now you've changed your mind?"

I looked out at the dusk settling over the water. "Yes. I'm breaking up with him."

For a second, all I heard was Aliya's heavy breathing.

Then her voice turned sharp. "Okay. I won't try to talk you out of it. There's always a job here for you."

I closed my eyes and smiled.

"In three days, I'll be near San Luis Obispo Airport. I can fly to New York from there.

"I'll see you in three days."