Chapter 4

I took a cab back to the hotel alone. The salty ocean wind made my head spin.

The whole ride, Aliya's texts were my only comfort.

"Don't accept that proposal!"

"Nolan's such a bastard!"

"I found a flight for tomorrow! I've already booked it for you."

I ran my finger over the screen and smiled a little.

At least I still had Aliya.

That night, I slept fitfully at the hotel.

A violent pain in my stomach jolted me awake. My insides churned, and the pain came in waves.

I reached out beside me.

"Nolan, my stomach hurts."

But my hand found nothing. His side of the bed was cold. He hadn't come back all night.

I curled into a ball, sweat beading on my forehead.

All I could manage was to dial his number.

I called Nolan several times, but every call rang until he declined it.

My mind, fogged by pain, finally seemed to clear a little.

At last, he called back.

In the background, I could faintly hear people talking and laughing, along with the soft clink of glasses.

"What is it?" His voice was low, like he didn't want anyone to overhear.

I forced the words out one at a time. "Nolan, I don't feel good."

He was quiet for a moment.

"Ella, don't throw a tantrum.

"Zoe's drunk right now. I can't leave."

I pressed my forehead to the back of my hand. I barely had the strength to argue.

Another silence. Then he added, "I'll have someone from the hotel come check on you."

He hung up in a hurry.

The busy signal went on and on in my ear, grating on my nerves.

I unlocked my phone again. This time, I called 911.

A woman's voice answered right away.

But before I could finish answering all her questions, I passed out.

I didn't see Nolan again until the next day, at the hospital.

The doctor said I had acute appendicitis with signs of perforation, so they'd performed emergency surgery overnight.

"Why didn't you bring her in sooner?" the doctor demanded, frowning at Nolan. "She was in serious danger. If she hadn't called 911 herself, we wouldn't have known where she was!

"We couldn't reach any of her family last night, either."

Nolan listened in silence, his eyes red. He gently brushed his fingers over the hand with the IV in it.

For a dazed moment, it felt like the time I'd gotten sick before and he'd flown back overnight from a business trip, his jaw covered in stubble and his shirt collar crooked.

He looked at me with the same worry he'd shown back then.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault." He turned to me. "Zoe wasn't in good shape, so I..."

I cut him off. "Something's always going on with Zoe. Why don't you two just get back together? Then you can take better care of her."

He turned his head away and let out a long breath, like he was trying to hold his temper.

"Stay in the hospital and rest for a few days. I'll arrange for a private caregiver to look after you.

"I'll drive the rest of Highway One with Zoe and the others, then come back for you."

I opened and closed my mouth. I was so angry that my incision throbbed.

"I'm sick. You're leaving me here alone?"

Nolan looked helpless, guilt crossing his face. He lowered his voice. "I'm sorry. I didn't expect you to get sick out of nowhere. But I already promised Zoe and the others. I can't go back on my word, right?"

He stroked my hair with his usual affection. "Ella, be reasonable, okay?"

I stared at him.

Over the past two years, Nolan had mentioned Zoe now and then. He said his ex was spoiled and had worn him out.

But even three years after the breakup, Nolan still indulged her and couldn't let her go.

Meanwhile, I was always the one expected to be understanding.

"Yesterday I said I wanted to break up. Did you hear me?"

Nolan froze, and the color drained from his face.

I continued, "Nolan, ever since our whale-watching trip in Monterey, all I've heard is, 'I've been there, I've seen it, I'm not interested.' That's why you didn't come with me.

"So why aren't you bored now that you're doing it all over again?"

His hands curled into fists, and his foot tapped restlessly.

"Let's break up." I looked at him calmly. "I'm not just saying it because I'm mad."

"Ella!" Nolan raised his voice, his eyes dark.

Then, as if he'd suddenly remembered something, he lowered his voice and said, "You're emotional right now. I'm not going to fight with you.

"I extended your hotel reservation by ten days. You can stay there after you're discharged.

"Zoe's telling me to hurry. I have to go."

He rattled off his instructions and practically fled the room.

His hurried footsteps faded down the hall.

I sat in the hospital bed, surprised by how calm I felt.

I changed out of my hospital gown, discharged myself early, and went straight to the airport.

I couldn't stand one more day of that salty California wind.

To my surprise, my phone was still buzzing while I checked in for my flight.

It wasn't Nolan.

It was a new reply to an old Reddit post of mine.

"My boyfriend dated his first love for years. He already lived through the whole wild, passionate young-love thing with her.

"With me, it feels like he just likes me. How do I get past feeling like second best?"

I'd never told Nolan about any of this.

But even after all this time, people were still upvoting the post, saving it, and leaving new replies.

The newest reply was trying to comfort me.

"Make memories that belong only to the two of you. Do the things he did with his ex all over again, and replace the old memories with new ones."

I smiled and typed a reply.

"Tried that. Doesn't work. Even when we drive the same road again, all he remembers is what happened with his ex.

"I'm going to break up with him."

Looking out the plane window, I felt surprisingly light.

This time, I was finally leaving.