Chapter 2

I went to the bakery on North Street on my own.

When I was little, I was dirt poor, so blue cheese was a luxury I couldn't afford. That lasted until I turned 18, when Beck used the money he'd earned from underground street fights to buy me a blue cheese cheesecake. That was the very first time I'd ever tasted blue cheese.

Back then, he was covered in bruises from those illegal matches, yet he couldn't even bring himself to spend money on antiseptic. "I'm strong. I'll be fine in a few days." He then swore, "I'll buy you blue cheese for the rest of my life!"

...

By the time I finished my cake, the bakery was already closing up for the night.

"I knew you'd be here." Beck appeared behind me out of the blue.

He sighed. "Alright. Let's just put what happened this morning behind us."

"Where's my suitcase?"

"I left it at home. Come on, let's head back. I won't make you stay at a hotel this time."

I let out a bitter chuckle. Since when did even letting me come home become a reward?

…

By the time we arrived home, Iris was setting the table. The place had changed again compared to 43 days ago.

Last time, I was away for 35 days, and when I returned, the couch had been replaced. The time before that, I'd been gone for 30 days, and the dining table had been replaced when I returned.

Before that, it was the rug, the wine cabinet... Every single thing we had picked out together had been swapped out.

This time, it was the bedding that had been replaced. It was blue now.

Back then, the psychologist had told us that sleep was vital for Beck's treatment. Consequently, I tried out almost every brand on the market before settling on that specific set.

I wanted to ask Beck why he had changed it, but the moment my gaze landed on Iria's blue slip dress, I suddenly lost all desire to know. Iria walked up to me and linked her arm through mine. "Get over here! Beck and I made a whole spread for dinner."

I sat at the dining table and took in the spread of sickly-sweet dishes before feeling a little nauseous.

The two of them sat across from me. I sat next to Iria, like a guest.

All of a sudden, something furry brushed against my ankle. I shot to my feet, startled. "Why's there a cat in the house?"

Iris smiled. "Did you forget? You agreed to raise a kitten."

"I'm allergic to cat—"

Before I could finish, Beck cut me off. "Elma, you're way too reserved. You should learn from Iria and raise a cat or dog. Who knows? It might help you come out of your shell."

So, he thought I was too reserved and in my shell… During the years when his mania was at its worst, he was always telling me to be quiet. Even when we only had a minor argument, I would voluntarily move out to leave him with a quiet home.

I parted my lips to explain myself, but all of a sudden, I felt drained.

"I'm full." My voice was barely above a whisper.

After returning to my bedroom, I took an antihistamine and began packing my luggage.

Truth be told, there wasn't much to pack. Ever since our second year of marriage, I had started staying in hotels frequently.

Beck walked in, and I immediately shoved my pregnancy test report into my suitcase. Leaning against the doorframe, he asked me, "Why are you packing your belongings?"

The very next second, Iria poked her head in and gasped. "Ellie, are you moving out? Beck, you really need to reflect on yourself. Why doesn't she like staying at home?"

After hearing that, he frowned. "Elma, was the hotel I booked for you really that nice? Is that why you don't want to come home?"

I rose to my feet and gazed at them. The emotions I'd just suppressed threatened to overflow.

"Yeah. Hotels are much more comfortable than home. At least I don't have to worry about being kicked out the next day."

Beck was caught off guard. For a moment, he looked flustered.

He pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek and chuckled. "Fine. If you want to stay in a hotel that badly, I'll arrange it for you."

…

An hour later, the car pulled up in front of a dilapidated motel on the outskirts of town.

The motel's entrance curtain was caked in greasy, unidentifiable grime. The paint on the sign had completely peeled off.

"Enjoy your stay. Don't even bother switching hotels because I've frozen all your cards. Also, I changed the door lock. I'll drop off the new key whenever I get around to it."

I tightened my grip on my suitcase handle and quietly watched his white car disappear into the darkness. This time, I no longer held my breath for the new key.