5: Hurts to leave

In my dark room, I stay in bed, mindlessly staring at the ceiling. For the past two days, I haven't had a wink of sleep. My head is constantly swirling with countless thoughts. The image of Asher with Ariel keeps coming back to haunt any sense of peace or comfort I try to look for.

The Internet is still thrashing them both. Memes are made. My account is tagged in many posts. I had to delete my account.

And Asher? Not a single call. Absolutely nothing, and just when I think it can't hurt more, it does.

Like it isn't already tough to hold onto my mental peace, Asher's grandmother, Kate is here, complaining about how Asher should have never married me.

“A man will always find warmth outside if his wife isn't keeping him happy”

Her words. They taunt me deeply.

What did I not do for him to be happy? Where did I go wrong? Was it because I gained weight after Alex was born? Was it because I had a haircut? Or do I not look pretty anymore?

The door to my room opens softly. Frowning, I turn my head to the door and observe a silhouette approaching my bed.

The familiar cologne hits my senses. My stomach churns.

“Asher?” I call out and his steps come to a halt. I quickly get up to reach for the lamp to turn it on.

“Don't” His voice comes out hoarse. My fingers just linger on the switch as he approaches my side of the bed.

I gulp when I feel the bed dip as he sits down.

“Why haven't you left me yet?” He asks. I flinch when his fingers thread through my hair to rest at the back of my head.

A slow, gentle touch. Almost like he still cares and loves.

How do I tell him that I'm too pathetic to be alone? Despite it all, the thought of leaving never once occurred to me. I am willing to live with pain as long as he is around.

“You love me too much, don't you?” He whispers. His hot breath on my lips tells me he is too close. My heart clenches painfully.

He knows my weakness.

“W-Why?” My voice cracks, fingers tighten around the bedsheets.

“You should leave,” he says.

“No. I won't. She must be a fling. I will wait for you to get over it… I can do that”

I'm pathetic. So fucking pathetic.

His hand retreats from my hair and I watch as he stands up to walk towards the closet. I turn on the lights. His broad back clad in a black button-down shirt is what I see as he fetches something from the locker.

He turns around, holding a black file.

My heart drops.

He keeps the file on the bed, in front of me.

I look at him through my teary eyes, pleading silently for him to just say he can fix it. Not ruin it further.

“These are divorce papers. Sign it, take your fair share and disappear from my life,” He asserts plainly, like ending our relationship is as easy as ordering a coffee.

I push the file away, refusing to sign them.

“Blue, sign the damn papers! I want to marry Ariel,” His voice thunders in the thick air.

“No,” I force it out.

“Don't be so f*cking desperate and sign them! How much more money will you take to free me from this marriage?” He groans.

“It's like you have forgotten everything about me. You don't know me anymore,” I whisper thickly, grabbing the file open.

“If I sign this, I'll take Alex with me. You don't deserve my child,” I mutter harshly, hoping he will stop for our son.

“Sign them” He pulls out a pen from his pocket and hands it to me.

Tears roll down my face as I open the cap and see his signatures already there. Smiling bitterly, I sign the papers.

I throw the file at him, and a sob almost breaks past my lips.

He turns to leave and closes the door shut. I cry out loud, throwing whatever comes to my reach.

The next morning, I pack my luggage and Alex's.

“Mommy, where we going?” Alex asks as I help him downstairs to the living room.

“We are going to see Aunt Rosa” I tell him and he lights up.

“Aunt Rosa pretty” He beams. I smile but it falters the moment I see Kate sitting on the couch, sipping her tea.

She frowns, the wrinkles deepening as she eyes the luggage suspiciously.

“Where are you going?” She asks, putting her cup away.

“Ask your grandson,” I state before walking away. I only reach the anteroom when a hand clasps around my wrist.

I turn to face Kate whose features contort into anger.

“You aren't leaving him now, are you?” She whispers, glancing down at Alex before flicking her gaze back to me.

“You don't walk out of a marriage, Blue. This is not what women do,” She murmurs.

“You don't like me. Shouldn't you be happy I no longer carry the Vorozi name?” I ask instead.

“You have my grandson. The heir to our family and it's stupid to let him and his mother go away. Men cheat all the time, don't ruin your son's life and just forget it”

“You think I want to leave Asher and keep him away from his son? It's your grandson who forced the divorce and wants to marry Ariel. I will never let that woman around my son,” I say and turn to leave but this time, the voice that stops me isn't Kate.

“Wait,” Asher demands, crossing the distance between us and the file from last night is still in his hand.

“Alex is not going anywhere” he states.

“No dada. We see Aunt Rosa” Alex beams innocently.

I hold his hand tight, not liking the sudden change in Asher's expression.

“Grandma, take Alex to his room and Blue, let's talk,” He says.

Did he change his mind about divorce?

“Come, Alex, grandma will make you cookies” Kate beams, taking Alex away. When they're out of sight, he pins his gaze on me.

“Alex will stay with me,” he declares.

My hopes crush and almost instantly heat flares in my chest.

“I told you last night. He will not be anywhere around you and that wench. My son will go with me” I retort fiercely.

“If you do so then the police will be involved. Alex is in my custody. Legally” His words knock the air out of my lungs.

“Read it,” He hands me the file. I open it hastily, reading through the sections. My lips tremble at the words.

No…

“This is fraud! You can't take my son away from me!” I yell, unable to handle the revelation. My lips quiver, heart hammering wildly in my chest as I pin a glare at Asher.

“You signed it. He is mine,” he asserts, breaking my already shattered heart in ways it can't be fixed.

“You can't take my son. You can't…. Asher. You can't” words leave my mouth like a cracked chant.

“Please leave before I ask guards to escort you out,” he states coldly.