Chapter 18

Eli's POV

“I have good news for you.” Dr. Broome said as he walked into the office. I followed him, trying not to look too eager. It was going to be a ridiculous thing to be excited that there was good news about Adam. I had worked with several patients over the years, and I knew better than to get emotionally invested in every little improvement, especially with an injury as serious as Adam's. Still, I couldn't help the joy that swelled in my stomach.

“Adam managed to get to his feet last night.” he said and I blinked.

“He did?”

“Yes, he was watching a game and I think he did it out of excitement. When asked to do it again, he couldn't without assistance. He's still experiencing pain and we need to be careful about how much weight he puts on the injured areas but his progress has been encouraging enough that he can resume physiotherapy.”

I bit down on my teeth to stop myself from grinning like an idiot. “That's great.” I managed to say that flatly.

“It is. I'd like you to start the gentle assessment today. Nothing too much. We need to see how his body responds before we increase the intensity.”

I nodded. “Of course.”

“Any sudden increase in pain, unusual symptoms, or dizziness, you stop immediately and you inform me. We don't want him pushing himself beyond what his body can tolerate.”

“I understand that, Dr. Broome.”

He studied me for a moment. “You look happier about this than I am.”

I stuck my tongue in my cheek and immediately arranged my face. “I am simply happy for a patient.”

“Of course.”

“It's a professional thing, " I added quickly and regretted doing that almost immediately.

“I am sure it is.” He said slowly and I got on my feet before he could say anything else.

“Thank you, doctor.”

“Eli.” He said as I got to the door and I stopped. “Adam is determined to recover. Make sure he understands that impatience and determination are simply not the same thing.”

I thought about Adam for a split second and nodded. “Yes, doctor, I'll do my best.”

I successfully made it to my office before a wide grin appeared on my face. The moment the door clicked shut behind me, I leaned against it and let out a breath. Adam was on his feet. He wasn't running around the hospital or skating. He was not miraculously healed. He still had a long way to go but he had gotten on his feet. And I could only imagine how happy he must have been.

I rubbed my palms over my face. “Eli, you have to focus.”

I stared back at my reflection from the back computer screen and adjusted my scroll.

“Today I am a professional physiotherapist, not a teenager with a ridiculous crush. I am not the boy who used to memorize the sounds of Adam Payne's laugh from three tables away in the cafeteria and who could tell his footsteps even without raising my head.”

I straightened and walked over to my desk.

“My job is to help him recover. That's it. That's all it is. I will assess his movement, guide him through his exercises, monitor his pain and needs.”

It was simple. It was professional. I picked up my clipboard.

“And if he smiled at me, I just smiled back. It's part of the job.”

I made a step towards the door before I stopped. I closed my eyes and inhaled quickly. “Lord, help me.”

Adam's door was almost closed when I reached it. I lifted my hand to knock, but stopped when I heard a woman's voice filter to my ears. “What about Eli?”

I froze. It was Mrs. Payne. I knew her voice from the few times I had met her and although I had never spent enough time with her to know anything beyond the fact that she was kind and she deserved more than Derrick Payne.

She seemed to worry about her son, even when he constantly tried to prove that he was capable of taking care of himself.

There was a pause, but then Adam answered, "What about him?"

"Don't do that," she said in a whisper. "You know what I'm asking.”

I should have knocked now. I knew but I stood there with my hand suspended in the air, listening to a conversation that I had no business hearing.

She sighed. "Are you going to tell me what happened between both of you?"

My stomach tightened. Adam went quiet for so long that I convinced myself that he was never going to answer.

But then he did. “We went to school together.”

"I already know that, Adam. You told me you knew him."

"I do know him."

"There's a way he looks at you. There's something between both of you I can't quite place a finger on."

Adam clicked his tongue. "I was an asshole to him in high school."

The words came out so flatly and blunt that they pressed into a place just below my ribs.

“I bullied him and I made his life miserable. I also let other people do it too because I was too much of a coward to stand up for him.”

My fingers tightened around the clipboard.

"I thought you liked him," Mrs. Payne said. "Was he the boy from..."

"Yes," Adam cut in quickly and I frowned because I wanted to hear that. There was another silence.

"I liked him," Adam repeated and his voice was rougher this time. *That was what made everything worse, because I didn't know how to deal with it. Dad had already made it clear that he didn't want me hanging around someone like Eli. He thought it would do great damage to my reputation and I needed to focus on hockey and the people who would help me get somewhere.”

"And you listened to him?"

He huffed. "When have I never listened to him? I was scared of him. You were too."

I stared at the floor. There was something devastating about hearing Adam say that. It didn't excuse anything that he had done, but it made me understand.

He had always seemed untouchable to me. He was the boy everyone watched when he entered the room, the boy that teachers praised and other boys followed and coaches trusted. I had never imagined him sitting in a room with his father, afraid to disagree.

“I didn't know how to be the person he wanted me to be and still be myself.” Adam said. “So I did everything he told me. When he asked me to stop talking to Eli, I did. And when people started making jokes about him, I laughed with them.” His voice broke slightly.

“I convinced myself that it didn't matter much because I wasn't the one starting it. But I knew it was bullshit because it was easier than admitting that I was hurting someone that I genuinely cared about.”

My throat tightened and I wanted to push through the door.

Mrs. Payne went quiet for a moment, and I heard her let out a long breath. "Your father has lived his life, Adam. He has made his choices. Some of them were good. Many of them hurt you and me. But we don't get to spend the rest of our lives making decisions because you are afraid of disappointing him."

"I know.”

“Do you?”

“Mom," Adam said.

"No, listen to me. I love your father and I will not pretend he has always done right by you or me. But you are not a continuation of his life. You are your own person and you have to decide what kind of man you want to be, even if it's something he can't stomach."

Adam didn't answer.

“Do you still like him?”

“Yes.” Adam replied.

“Eli?” I jumped and turned around to see Dr. Broome standing behind me.