Chapter 5

Sebastian thought pushing me down to a smaller office would break me, he underestimated the wrong woman. 

I refused to break. 

Not because of the demotion.

Not because of the constant stares.

Definitely not because Sebastian. 

That morning I cleared my desk before anyone arrived. No second guessing.  I shut down my computer, stacked my files in perfect order before I left for the clinic.

It was my first ultrasound and I was eager in a way I couldn't hide.

“Good morning, Dr. Lennox.”

“Good morning, Zara.” She said, Ready for your ultrasound.?

I nodded.

My hands trembled as I climbed the table inside the ultrasound room. My heart was beating uncontrollably. 

“Ready?” The sonographer asked.

“You may proceed,” Dr. Lennox said.

I laid there with so many thoughts in my head as the soft gel hit my stomach. Icy and shocking. The monitor moved across my stomach, I held my breath. 

“This is good news.” Dr. Lennox said.

“Twin pregnancy” She said smiling. “You wanna see it.?”

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. 

And there it was. Two tiny forms, alive.

“Both heartbeats are strong and healthy.” she said.

I laid there, confused about my mood. Unsure  if I'm to scream, cry or smile. It was as if I'd met with someone I already loved but never seen. But one thing is certain. I have two lives growing inside of me. What initially felt like a way out, now feels like part of me.

The doctor emphasised on rest. But rest wasn't some kind of excuse you give to a man like Sebastian.  

The appointment didn't take long, so I quickly took mom to the hospital. The doctor was pleased with her blood results and her blood pressure normalised. Ethan had not even called for money cause he had more than enough. It was a relief seeing what once looked like a mountain,  levelled.

With my demotion, I thought of resigning from the company, but I needed to prove Sebastian wrong before anything.

At the office, I was already tired. I had assigned some work to Lily so I don't overstress myself.

I was beginning to show and I couldn’t hide it  from mom. That evening when I got home, I showed my mom the scan result.  At first she thought it was for someone else but when she saw the way I held my stomach, she was shocked.

“Zara dear, are you pregnant.? She asked.

“Yes mom.” I said. “I did it for you, for Ethan and for us. I got paid to carry these babies. The initial payment was what I have been using to clear all expenses. The balance will be paid when I deliver.”

Her eyes softened. “And you didn't mention it to me, Zara.?

"You were fragile, I didn't want to pressure you with the whole stress of raising money for your treatment.”

At that point she couldn’t control her tears, she allowed it to flow. I saw regret in her eyes over her own inability to provide. Still, I hugged her and assured her everything will go as planned. Give birth and your balance is paid, so I thought.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××

The moment I stepped out of the elevator, eyes dragged over me. At first I was curious and then I realised it was because of the pregnancy.  I had started to show  and it was no longer possible to hide it.

At the printers station, Tina was telling her friend so loudly “She must have gotten pregnant for someone important hence she's walking confidently. 

Her friend giggled.  “Maybe it's for a married man.”

“Demoted and pregnant. What a flex.” Tina added.

I kept waking and ignored them. 

Not today, I have two beautiful souls inside of me. I won't do anything rash.

At my desk, my tasks were carried out efficiently. My back ached and I felt hot even with the AC being on. I loosened my blouse a little to hide the pregnancy but it made no difference. 

So far, my appointments were fine.and everything seemed fine except the slow stubborn headache, frequent urination and the extra weight I felt tugging inside of me.

At lunch time I was craving something spicy. I needed something unreasonably spicy. Halfway into the lobby I met Sebastian.  He stood almost opening his mouth. He was shocked. I adjusted my blouse trying to hide the pregnancy. 

“Why didn't you tell me?” He asked.

“It doesn't concern you, sir.” I managed. 

I placed my hand over it, not to hide it but to protect it.

I didn’t know why but there was sadness in his eyes. I excused myself and left.

If he had granted my salary advance, maybe I wouldn't have considered surrogacy. Just maybe. But the tiny humans  inside of me, it's worth more than everything put together.  

My phone buzzed the moment I stepped out of the office. I answered quickly. 

“Ethan, is everything okay?”

“Mom told me, I had to call.” He said.

“Told you what?” I asked.

“That you are pregnant.”

“Ethan, listen. The pregnancy is not mine, it's not ours either. I'm helping someone who can't carry a baby. It's a job.”

“Mom said you did it for money.”

The tears I had been holding rushed down my cheek. The family responsibilities I carried outweighs me. But my decision to solve the problems will forever leave a mark on me. 

Unmarried.  No relationship,  virgin yet pregnant with what I can't call mine. What I can't hold despite giving them life time. Nothing hurts more than that. That moment I realised I'd referred to the life inside of me as a job. Quickly I placed my hand on my Tommy and started apologising to my babies. They are mine, not one job for payout. I'd risk a lot to get to this point.

My bond had  increased each passing day. I'd spent most of my evenings thinking of how they'd look, who their parents would be,whether they'd have a kind heart and soft laughs and on  worst nights, I'd imagined running away with them. But the contract I'd signed was legal and binding. Something I'd stick with till the end.