Her Carnal Desires

"This Mother fucker"

I paced back and forth as my hands flew around, trying to keep the volcano at bay inside of me. Aleksander Smith could get under my skin in the seconds flat just by looking at me. The same way he was looking at me now, sitting on the end of the bed with no care in the world with his cocky eyebrow raised , and his stupid grin.

"What is the matter with you?!" My voice rose several octaves as I stared down at him. I was mad that I shook to my core

"There isn't anything wrong with me, but I can't say the same thing for you", Aleksander laughed in response.

His words hit me like a frieght train before I lost all control and lunged at him. I tackled him to the bed before l began to hit him. Over and over and over. He did this to me. He brought the monster out. I normally lost my temper too far and without thinking things through, I threw the first punch. But as I hit this prick, all he could do was laugh and it only threw gasoline on the raging inferno inside.

"Babe, babe," He laughed, "relax!"

But I didn't. I didn't relax at all as my fists connected with Alexander's rock hard chest. He grinned up at me as I went to strike him there next, but he grabbed my wrist and flung to my back. He pinned me beneath his strong body as I tried to wrestle free.

I hated him at this moment. How dare he take control when he was the one who needed to be punished! He was always doing this; taking control until he had me all sweaty and wanting more right before he put his pants back on and left me alone.

"Aleksander, you need to get off of me in five seconds, or..."

"Or what?" He smirked down at me, running a finger down along my throat and toward my cleavage as I sucked in a breath.

"Aleksander, don't," I warned as I tried to control the new fire burning deep inside.

Get your shit together, Melissa!

I couldn't and wouldn't let him win this time, no matter how much he affected me.

"Why are you fighting this?" His sandy, lust-filled voice made me shiver.

Damn him and all his maleness!

He was sexy, I'd give him that, but he was irresistible to all women, and that's all I fell into his trap all these years ago. He was the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. Throw in his five o'clock shadow, tattooed up body and aqua blue eyes, and he was poisonous; especially to me.

"You know why I'm fighting this?" I growled as I tried to squirm free once again.

His stupid grin was back as his eyes traveled down my neck, sending chills over my body as it betrayed me.

"Tell me," he wispered as his eyes filled with a brazen promise.

"Jane Wilson," I replied with a clip tone, making sure he had the venom in my voice.

He physically flinched at at her name and looked back down at me.

"Awe, come on, babe. Everyone's handling Jane," He laughed.

"So, if anyone jumped off a bridge to sudden death, you would it too?" I cocked an accusing brow at him, waiting for his stupid reply that I knew was coming.

"If I had to for one of my brothers, then hell yes."

A single tear slid down my face as I looked away from him. This was the last thing l wanted to hear from him, but I knew it was inevitable. He was a son of a bitch and he will never change.

"Get off of me." My voice cracked as I kept my gaze away from him.

Aleksander lifted himself off of me, but I couldn't move. I wanted him to fuck off so I could roll off up into a ball and cry my eyes out.

"She's just the bar whore, babe. She means nothing to me."

"Go tell it to someone who cares, because I don't anymore."

I sat up, holding my knees to my chest as the sensation of defeat washed over me.

Aleksander tried to touch me but I smacked his hand away.

"Don't fucking touch me," I hissed.

"Babe, you're being ridiculous. None of the other ladies get this upset over a fuck."

I whipped my gaze to him, and if looks could kill, he would be dead a thousand times.

"That's where you've fucked up, Aleksander. I am not like any of them! And if you think I can forgive and forget, then you're sorely mistaken."

"Melissa..."

"I said get the fuck out, Aleksander." I cut him off in mid sentence.

He stared at me for a long moment but I tore my gaze from his once more. I couldn't look at him, afraid that if I did, I wouldn't be able to stand a ground.

My heart was aching in a dreadful silence between us as I felt like my life was being turned upside down and twisted side ways. This wasn't how I pictured my lfe going at all. Aleksander gave out a breath and finally turned and left, leaving me to my demons.

I hated this. I hated knowing what this did to me. Every silent moment that passed fed my anger, when I had Alexander's motorcycle roar to life and he tore out of my driveway like a bat out of hell. At that I lost it. Grabbing the nearest thing-which was my favorite lamp - I threw it against the bedroom wall and screamed at the top of my lungs. I had so much rage inside that l shook as hot tears rolled down my face.

I couldn't keep living like this day after day; loving a man who didn't love me back. I was done.

Every time I try to love him, he cheats on me.