Research

Bianca stood outside Luxe Noir for a full minute after leaving Anna's office, trying to remember how to breathe.

The city noise crashed over her—car horns, construction, people shouting into phones. Everything felt too loud, too bright, too real after the quiet intensity of that office.

*Dominant. Submissive. Power exchange. Companion.*

Anna's words echoed in her head like a song she couldn't stop hearing.

Bianca pulled out her phone and opened her transit app with shaking hands. The next bus wasn't for twenty minutes. She couldn't stand here that long, couldn't risk Anna looking out her office window and seeing her frozen on the sidewalk like a deer in headlights.

She started walking instead, letting her feet carry her toward the nearest subway station six blocks away. The physical movement helped. One foot in front of the other. Breathe in. Breathe out. Don't think about what just happened.

Except she couldn't stop thinking about it.

By the time she reached the subway platform, her mind was spinning so fast she missed the first train completely, staring at the tracks without seeing them.

The second train came. Bianca got on, found a seat in the corner, and pulled out her phone.

Her fingers hovered over the keyboard. What was she even supposed to search? "What is BDSM"? It felt absurd, like googling "how to be normal" or "am I crazy for considering this?"

But she had forty-eight hours. Forty-eight hours to make a decision that could save her mother's life and possibly change everything about who she thought she was.

The subway rocked and swayed. Bianca looked around—no one was paying attention to her. Everyone was lost in their own phones, their own worlds.

She took a breath and typed: *BDSM basics for beginners*.

The search results flooded her small screen. Articles, forums, educational websites, videos. She clicked on the first link—a site called "The BDSM Education Network" that looked legitimate and not pornographic.

*BDSM stands for Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism. It's an umbrella term for consensual power exchange and sensation play between adults.*

Bianca read as the subway rattled through dark tunnels, her stop coming and going while she scrolled through article after article.

*Contrary to popular belief, BDSM is not about abuse. It's built on three core principles: Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC). All activities are negotiated beforehand. Participants establish boundaries, safe words, and hard limits. A submissive holds the ultimate power—they can stop a scene at any time.*

She clicked through to another article about Dominance and submission specifically.

*A D/s relationship involves consensual power exchange where one partner (the Dominant) takes control and the other (the submissive) surrenders it. This can be sexual, but it doesn't have to be. Some people practice D/s in their everyday lives through protocols, rituals, and service.*

By the time Bianca looked up, she'd missed her stop by three stations. She got off, crossed the platform, and took the train back, still reading.

*Common misconceptions: Submissives are weak. (False—submission requires tremendous strength and self-awareness.) Dominants are abusive. (False—good Dominants prioritize their submissive's safety and wellbeing above all else.)*

This wasn't what she'd expected. The articles made it sound almost... normal? Like a lifestyle choice that people made consciously, not something dark and twisted.

When Bianca finally made it home to her small apartment, she went straight to her laptop. The larger screen made research easier. She kept reading—articles about negotiation, about aftercare, about the psychology of power exchange. One piece explained how some people found freedom in surrendering control, how it could be therapeutic to let someone else make decisions in a structured, safe environment.

Three hours passed without Bianca noticing.

Her phone rang, making her jump. Sophie's name flashed on the screen.

"Hey," Bianca answered, her voice hoarse from not speaking.

"Hey yourself. How'd the second interview go? You never texted me."

Bianca closed her laptop. "Can you come over?"

"That bad?"

"That complicated."

"I'm getting on the bus now. Twenty minutes."

Sophie arrived with a bottle of wine and two glasses. "Okay, talk to me. What happened?"

Bianca told her everything. Anna's offer, the BDSM lifestyle business, the proposition to be both assistant and companion. Sophie's eyes got progressively wider.

"Holy shit," Sophie breathed when Bianca finished. "She wants you to be her submissive?"

"You know what that means?" Bianca asked, surprised.

Sophie shrugged. "I dated a guy sophomore year who was into some light stuff. Handcuffs, blindfolds, that kind of thing. Nothing serious, but he explained the basics to me." She poured wine into both glasses. "So what are you thinking?"

"I don't know what I'm thinking. That's the problem." Bianca took a long drink. "Part of me thinks I should run away and never look back. But—"

"But she's offering to save your mom's life."

"It's not just that." Bianca stared into her wine glass. "I've been reading about it all afternoon. BDSM, I mean. It's not what I thought it was."

"What did you think it was?"

"I don't know. Whips and chains and people getting hurt? But the articles talk about consent and communication and trust. They make it sound almost... romantic?"

Sophie studied her friend's face. "Are you attracted to her?"

The question hit Bianca like a slap. "I don't know. Maybe? Is that crazy? I've never been attracted to a woman before."

"First time for everything." Sophie tucked her legs under her on the couch. "What was it like when you were with her? How did she make you feel?"

Bianca thought back to the interview. Anna's dark eyes holding hers. The way her presence filled the room. The smell of her perfume. The way she spoke with such calm authority that made Bianca want to...

"Nervous," Bianca said. "But not in a bad way. More like... aware? Like every part of me was paying attention." She paused. "Is that attraction?"

"Sounds like it might be."

Bianca set down her wine glass and put her face in her hands. "This is insane, Soph. I dated Sebastian for two years. I thought I was straight. Normal. And now I'm sitting here googling BDSM and considering becoming some rich woman's submissive?"