Mia’s sleeping in my arms an hour after we went to bed, but I’m nowhere near sleepy. I can’t even stir up any interest in doing more than lying here next to her.I ate myself sick tonight. We both did. Sex was the last thing on our minds by the time we stumbled to bed after watching holiday movies. I still think it’s too early for that shit, but she disagrees—and I knew better than to argue.Besides, it made her happy.And I think that’s why I can’t sleep. Why I have to carefully extract myself from bed, doing everything I can to keep from waking her up. She’s out cold, though, snoring softly. She deserves it after all the work she put into making it a nice holiday.I’m still too full and too uneasy. It’s the uneasiness that gets me dressed in sweats with the intention of heading down to the gym. I’m not going to put in a full workout—I’d never get to sleep if I did—but at least a walk on the treadmill might help me think. I make sure to arm the alarm using the app on my phone once I’
ZEKE“Can you peel these potatoes, please?” Mia turns away from what she’s doing to the turkey long enough to jerk her chin toward the strainer, where she scrubbed a handful of potatoes earlier.“You’re assuming I know how to handle a peeler.”“You don’t?” She looks my way, one eyebrow raised. “Are you serious?”“No, I can peel potatoes. My grandmother taught me when I was a kid.” Though it’s been a long time since I’ve had to do it. “I was just screwing with you.”“Well, you can’t blame me for taking you seriously.”“I’ve cooked before, remember?”“Right. Boiling pasta and heating up a jar of sauce. A culinary masterpiece.”I take a swat at her ass before taking a peeler to the first potato. “Looks like you’ll have to teach me a few things.”“Why not?” she counters. “You’ve taught me plenty.” I can’t argue with that.I also can’t believe how nice this is. Strange, different, but nice. I could almost believe this is a normal situation, that we’re just two normal people making shit hap
Now I know his ass is in a sling even more than mine is. I don’t want Dad to be angry with me, but it’s not like I could lose my job over it the way Zeke would—at the very least. He always makes it seem like that would be the least of his problems.“He said I shouldn’t come home for Thanksgiving.”His eyebrows knit together instantly. “What? Why?”“Something to do with business. I don’t know.” I shrug it off. “You would probably know better than I would, honestly. You know more about his business than I do.”“Not anymore. And even then, I wasn’t exactly his right-hand man.” He rubs the back of his neck, the other hand on his hip, staring at the floor. Deep in thought. “He’s always got business. Why would that stop you from coming home?”“Honestly? I don’t even care.”“You don’t? I figured you would look forward to having time off.”“Time off from what? From school?” I can’t believe he’s being so dense. “I won’t have any schoolwork to do here, either, right?”“That’s true…”I walk towa
She turns to me, eyes wide, the color gone from her face. “My dad.”20MIAI can’t believe how hard I’m shaking. I think I’m going to be sick.“Answer it,” Zeke urges me in a strangled voice. “He’ll be worried if you don’t.”Right, but what happens when I answer, and he starts screaming at me? Don’t be stupid. He won’t do that. He doesn’t know what you’ve been doing. No, maybe not, but why does it feel like he does? If he wanted me to spend the rest of my life feeling like he’s watching, directly over my shoulder, he succeeded. It’s actually kind of sick in a way.“Mia.” The way Zeke barks my name snaps me out of it. Right. I have to get it together.“Hi, Daddy,” I chirp on answering. A look at Zeke tells me I did a good job. I don’t sound suspicious at all.“Hello, sweetheart. You sound happy.” Sure, I was getting felt up by the bodyguard you sent to watch over me. Yeah, that would go over really well. I should definitely start with that.“No reason not to be.” I pull on a jacket and
ZEKEMaybe if I run fast enough on this treadmill, I’ll outrun my guilt.Maybe I’ll be able to convince myself the past couple of weeks can be forgotten. That they haven’t been a mistake.That I’m not somehow happier than I’ve been in my life.I don’t deserve to be happy. I’m taking advantage of her. And eventually, she’ll realize that.My feet pound on the belt, sweat rolling down the back of my neck, my chest. I’m punishing myself, and I know it, but that won’t stop me. Not when I deserve it. Not when I’m giving her so much less than what she deserves.She’s upstairs now, oblivious. She has no idea her future has been planned for her. That she’s living in a fantasy. Reality will come crashing in eventually, and I’m not sure I want to be there when it does. That would be the cowardly way out, though. Destroying her, then disappearing before the fallout can hit me.Just like I do every day, I tell myself to end things. Once I’m upstairs, I’ll sit her down and tell her it’s over. We ca
At first, though, I don’t know how he feels. He goes to the bathroom like he did before and gets a washcloth. I guess if he’s going to come on me, he might as well clean me up. And he does so gently but efficiently. Never once does he look above my shoulders. Is he going to get weird like he did last night? Will he walk out on me?As it turns out, no. He makes it just far enough to throw the washcloth into the hamper before coming back to the bed, climbing in next to me, and getting under the sheets like he’s ready for sleep. “Are you okay? Tell me the truth.”His tone contains a combination of caring and possessiveness. I can’t decide if he’s asking because he genuinely cares or because he feels like he’s supposed to.Either way, the answer is the same. “I’m fine. Really, better than fine.”“Good. Your first time should be good. It isn’t for a lot of people.”“I guess not everybody gets as lucky as I did.” I meant it sincerely, but he laughs anyway.The laughter doesn’t last long, an