Her Return, His Regret

Sierra.

I walk down the aisle. My heart is racing. My steps slow and heavy. A bouquet of tightly clutched pink and white roses trembles in my hands as my dress swishes behind me. Everything is so beautiful and perfect, just like we had planned.

My eyes are locked ahead. My gaze fixed on his smiling face. He is so handsome, so breathtaking. His smile is so dazzling that for a moment everything fades; I forget to walk and miss a step.

The happiness on his face and the joy radiating from him almost bring me to tears. I continue my walk, each step bringing me closer and closer to him. He looks different from what I am used to. This is the first time Noah Woods isn’t looking at me with hate and disgust.

I should be happy. I should be ecstatic that I am walking toward the man I love, but I am not. My heart is breaking, and I can hear the sound of those shattered pieces as my heart disintegrates into small bits.

I feel suffocated, yet I have to smile. I have to pretend that this isn’t tearing me apart inside. I have to pretend that this isn’t killing me. I have to pretend that I am fine when I’m slowly dying on the inside because the man I love is marrying someone else.

My once bright world is filled with nothing but darkness. The world I once dreamed of is crumbling around me. All my hopes, every carefully guarded wish, now lie in shards at my feet—sharp, piercing my already wounded soul. A painful reminder of everything I’ll never have

I smile even though all I want is to cry and mourn. Mourn because I know his radiant smile isn’t aimed at me. It’s aimed at the woman he loves. She walks behind me now, glowing in white lace. Chloe. One of my best friends. And the bride.

When I reach the altar, I move to the right, just as we rehearsed a hundred times before. Lilly—Noah’s cousin and my best friend—stands beside me, along with Brooks, Chloe’s younger sister. I grip my bouquet tighter as my heart thunders in my chest.

I’ve dreaded this day since the moment Noah dropped to one knee at our high school graduation and proposed to Chloe in front of the entire school. I wanted to scream then, just like I want to scream and shout now. I want to curse the heavens. I want the floor to open up and swallow me whole. Anything that can alleviate the pain I feel right now would be welcome.

A gentle pat on my arm pulls me from my spiral. I turn slightly to find Lilly offering me a small, encouraging smile. It conveys everything—love, sympathy, and understanding. Our eyes meet for just a second before we both look ahead to the stunning, blushing bride before us.

There is no denying that Chloe is beautiful. That’s not the only thing that makes her radiant, though. She’s the entire package. Beautiful, intelligent and kind. She’s warm, caring and loving. I sometimes want to hate her, but I can’t. She’s perfect. It’s no wonder Noah fell for her so easily.

I’ve witnessed their love for each other grow. I’ve been there to see it blossom. I was there from the beginning. I saw every stolen glance and every moment of tenderness. And while their love flowered and flourished into something beautiful, my heart withered on the onslaught of unrequited love… And today, it feels like it has finally stopped beating

“Noah,” Uncle Rowan’s deep yet firm voice pulls me from the fog that threatened to swallow me.

Chloe and Brook's mom died when we were fourteen and their dad left them when Chloe was four; that’s why Uncle Rowan was giving her away instead of her parents.

Uncle Rowan kisses Chloe’s cheek before placing her hand in Noah’s. Noah helps her up the steps, guiding her gently to stand beside him.

The way he stares at her kills me. The love shining through his eyes for her undoes me.

I’ve loved Noah for as long as I can remember. I believed that if I held on long enough, loved him hard enough, he’d see me. That he’d one day realize that I am the one for him. That he’d choose me. That he’d eventually fall in love with me. But I was so very painfully wrong and today is the proof of just how wrong I was.

Can he see the heartbreak in my eyes? Can he tell that my heart is bleeding? Who am I kidding? He probably doesn’t care. To him, I’ve always been the annoying girl who chased and clung to him since I was eight. And now, as he stands beside his bride, I’m nothing. I could drop and die and he wouldn’t blink.

I stand there, my soul in ruins, as he begins his vows. Lilly told me he wrote them himself. They’re beautiful. Heartfelt. I just wish they were meant for me and not someone else.

‘Stop being selfish,’ that annoying voice in my head snaps. ‘Just accept that he doesn’t love you and he never will.’

I want to block out the words, but I know they are true. I’ve lost and if I am being honest, I lost way before I was even in the running. I don’t think I was ever in the running to begin with.

“Do you, Chloe Thompson, take Noah Woods to be your lawfully wedded husband,” the priest says, “to love and to cherish, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, forsaking all others, till death do you part?”

“I do,” Chloe says, her voice soft and sure. She slides the ring onto his finger.

The priest turns to Noah. “And do you, Noah Woods, take Chloe Thompson to be your lawfully wedded wife…”

As the words echo, my heart squeezes painfully.

“I do,” Noah replies, steady and certain, placing the ring on her hand.

I fight for my next breath. Fight to keep myself upright and not to crumble. I fight back the heart-wrenching sob that threatens to escape my throat. I will my tears not to fall. Willing myself to hold on and stay indifferent. Not to break in front of him and everyone else.

“With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

A small sob escapes my lips, but the deafening noise of music and shouts drowns it.

Noah leans his tall frame towards his new bride. His eyes collide with mine for a second. He then pulls his gaze from mine. It softens as he stares at Chloe right before he crashes his lips on hers.

I saw it in his eyes. It was fleeting but so raw. His hate and disgust for me were clear, and with that and the joyous shouts ringing around us, the last remaining piece of my heart breaks and falls off.