005 I don't belong in his world

***

~~Delilah~~

***

I still can't get over that bracelet.

It was the last gift Dad ever gave me. It meant everything to me— the only piece of him I had left.

Losing it hurt more than I can explain.

For days I kept searching. But seeing it on Ashley's wrist puts me off. It feels wrong in a way I can't shake off.

It's an old-fashioned piece, why would Ashley even want it?

And how did it end up with her?

Is it the thrill of messing with me?

I just can't place it.

She insists it's hers and refused to give it back.

Of course she's lying. A terrible liar at that.

I'm at lost on what to do, the second I tried to grab it off her, she screamed.

All I can do now is seethe.

My phone vibrates on the table, pulling me back to earth.

I reach for it.

It's a text from a strange number. A lump lodge itself in my throat. I already know.

Mom.

“The transfer was due yesterday. Mr Blake has me. He's giving me 24 more hours to pay him or I'd be dead, Delilah. He meant it. Don't let me die here. I won't get involved with him again. I promise,”

That could've fooled anyone. 

Not me.

Because the last time she said this to me with tears in her eyes, I let her into my apartment, only to realize she was gone the next morning with all my valuables.

My stomach twist— anger crawls it's way into my spine.

I won't get involved with him?

I scoff. I can't recall how many times I've heard her say that.

I feel sick hearing it.

I begged her for months, years, for her to quit gambling. But she keeps going back there and it breaks my heart more and more every day.

This same bad addiction cost us dad, yet that didn't make her stop.

Her huge debt pushed me into this marriage.

It didn't make her stop. It got worse.

“Get the money off him and pay. He's stinking rich, Lilah. Would you rather Blake kill me?”

That's all I hear. Emotional manipulation.

I hate her, but I hate myself more. 

I hate that my mom's a wreck, I hate the fact that even after swearing not to pay off anymore of her debt, I still do it.

I hate that even after everything, I still hope she stays clean.

But can I really sit back and watch Blake take her life?

I swallow, my fingers shaking a bit as I type.

“I swear, this is the last time. You gon get nothing out of me again,” 

*****

I step out in one of the dresses Soren got me.

I see his eyes pinned on me, it makes my heart flutter. But if I didn't know him too well I'd probably think he was checking me out.

“Thank you. I love my gifts,” I say as I approach him.

He nods, most likely about to say something but pause as someone breezes past me.

Ashley.

“Don't tell me you both were about leaving without me,” she says in an otherwise clipped tone.

I blink.

No.

Soren turns to her. “Oh, we're headed to the family house. It's Grandpa's eighth birthday celebration,”

She smiles at him. “Perfect. I'd love to deliver my gifts to him. Besides, I believe I owe them an apology,”

I stilled and for the love of God I hoped Soren would say no.

He hesitates.

“I don't think —,” I tried to say, but Ashley cuts me off, her words swallowing mine.

“Please, Soren,” she pouts. “I feel terrible about everything that happened. Please?”

My eyes stays on Soren.

He nods. “Fine,”

The word had barely left his mouth, when Ashley wraps her arms around him and shrilled. “Thank you! I just knew you won't say no to me,”

My heart flips.

I hate how right she is.

Then she scurries off to the front seat.

Soren goes with her, letting her take my place, again.

I stood there, frozen for a second.

It was till I heard the honk of the car did I move.

I'm reeling inside. Soren hasn't glanced my way. All his attention is on Ashley, leading her in.

The door creaks open and I swallow.

I love to spend time with Pa Alfred but the thought of being in the same space with Rebecca and her son Cameron gives me chills.

Inside the large dining room, everyone's seated and it appears we were the last to arrive.

Julian and Rebecca stood in one corner of the room.

Cameron sits opposite from them with a ginger-haired woman beside him.

Grandpa sees me first and a big smile escapes him. “Oh my dearest Lilah. Come here,” I walk over to him and embraced him.

“Happy birthday Grandpa. Live long for us,” I say and kiss his cheeks.

But then he went silent and quickly breaks from the hug, his eyes dead set behind me.

I whirl.

It's on Ashley.

She’s behind Soren, tugging slightly at his arm, like a scared cat.

“What is she doing here, Soren?” Grandpa asks, his voice tight.

Even Julian, Soren's father looks quite surprised.

But not Rebecca. She has a cold grin.

Soren clears his throat. “Ashley has something to say. Let's all stay calm.”

I see the annoyed tick underneath Pa Alfred’s eye. He's boiling, but decides to bite the bullet and leave it be.

Soren takes Ashley's hand and guides her to the large dining table, ignoring me completely.

I bite on my lip, not sure how much of this I can take.

Pa Alfred pulls me into the chair next to him. Bless him.

The dinner started off calmly, but I can tell everyone is holding their breath, waiting.

I focused on my food, which made ignoring Rebecca’s dirty glances at me seemingly easy.

Cameron kept his eyes locked on me. I can feel it. I always do.

I avoid him. I'm his brother's wife, but Cameron clearly knows no boundaries, making me feel sorry for his poor date.

A voice finally drags my eyes up.

Ashley.

All eyes are on her.

“I— I know I fucked up. I loved Soren. I truly did, but I was young, naive, stupid.” She says, blinking, you'd expect actual tears to fall by now. “I’m so sorry. I have no excuse, which is why,” a smile forms as she reaches for Soren’s hand.

My heartbeat pulses through my teeth.

Before I can breathe again, the words are out. “I'm keeping his baby,” her eyes found mine. “Our baby,”