Chapter 18

"No, I don't. Even my mama tried to set me up on many dates as my match maker but none of them worked out." He said casually shrugging his shoulders but Innara didn't stop there. She voiced out the words in her mind loud and clear.

"You don't seem like that." She said lowly again taking a sip of her drink and suddenly he was curious to know what she thinks about him.

"Like what?" He asked her with mischief dancing in his eyes.

"That you don't have a girlfriend. It seems like you have so many girlfriends." She said earning a loud chuckle from Agustín. He found her so adorable that he couldn't help himself from chuckling.

"And why do you think like that, Señorita?" He asked her in his soft calming voice which comforted her and she decided to voice out her thoughts.

"You look so good as if you are some model or came out of a magazine." She said making him amused for a while.

A faint laugh escaped her lips—unfamiliar, small, but real. Agustín stilled for a moment and he felt like he couldn't move his eyes away from her. She looked an epitome of beauty while smiling, now that he is looking at her face so closely he noticed that she is beautiful even with the scars of her broken past. She looks broken but beautifully broken.

"You also don't look less than a actress hiding your pain behind your smiles." He said this time with a little seriousness but admiration in his eyes.

Innara met his eyes for a while and then looked back at her drink finishing it silently. He also didn't speak anymore trying to keep their conversation short so that she won't have to come out of her comfort zone just because of his queries. They wrapped up all the things on the table and then he stood up.

"Are you done?" He asked her earning a small nod from her.

"Yes." She replied meekly.

"Shall we leave?" He asked her and again she nodded standing up on her feet and they started walking back towards the apartment before it got dark.

They returned to the apartment by sunset. The sky over Madrid was painted in amber and soft pinks. As Agustín unlocked the door, Innara stood there lost in her own thoughts. He sensed it but didn't choose to question her and waited for her to voice out her thoughts. They entered the apartment.

Agustín settled on one of the couches and waited for her to join too but she instead started walking towards her room and hr thought she must be tired by now and didn't stop her but soon her feet halted and hesitated outside her room, looking up at the sky through the window and he noticed she looked lost again.

"What is it?" he asked gently gaining her attention.

"I think…I don’t want to survive anymore." she whispered more like talking to herself.

"What?" He asked for not understanding her words for the first time.

"Today when I spent time outside...with you. I got to know how beautiful life is if we live it in the right way. I don't want to survive anymore but to live this life." She said choosing her words wisely.

"Then don’t just survive. Live." He said and looked at her, long and steady.

"I want to...but I’m still afraid." she added with a pause.

"So stay afraid but stay with me anyway." he said looking at her intently.

She didn’t reply to him and walked inside leaving his words hanging in the air and he didn't mind knowing she needs time to adjust with everything. He threw his head back and closed his eyes recalling the time they spent together throughout the day.

Inside the room, while she sat curled on the bed, she gently placed her hand on her baby bump, a small smile playing on her lips as her baby kicked gently under her palm, she knows one thing for sure that the baby inside her is too chaotic that it isn't living quietly inside her belly. She doesn't know what it'll do after coming to life just after a few months.

Suddenly her gaze moved to the void in front of her and she realized something strange:

For the first time in her life… she didn’t feel like a prisoner.

___________

It's been three days, since they went out for a walk. These days something has shifted in the air without them knowing. The calmness, the comfortable environment and freedom was something Innara has started to feel. The days that followed settled into an unexpected rhythm of their small talks, gestures and eye contacts.

There were no grand declarations, no sudden changes — only the kind of healing that came in quiet, repeated moments. She has started to smile often, ask questions and answer some of his too. Their bonding was getting quite good with each incident they had with each other. Everything felt so good to her, almost perfect. Agustín didn’t hover. He never asked invasive questions or pushed her to talk.

He simply made space for her — in his home, in his time, and in small moments that made her feel human again. In her life, for the first time someone has made her feel like a human, a real one. She wanted to let things go in this way only but till when, she also knew that she can't live with him like this always. He also has his only family and one day will be going to start his own marital life, then what will she do.

Every morning, the scent of Spanish coffee and toasted pan con tomate drifted through the apartment. At first, Innara would linger by the kitchen door, silent, unsure. But on the third day, she joined him at the table. Not out of politeness — but because she wanted to. She was getting used to it, with him she didn't have to ask for small things, he made her feel that it was her own home.

She still barely touched the coffee, but she laughed — softly — when Agustín nearly choked on his after reading a dramatic article about himself in a tabloid. Agustín calmed down after a while and looked at her face which was beaming with happiness. She also felt his gaze and stopped for a while and then held his gaze with a gentle smile.

"I think they are more interested in your dating life than you." she said gently shaking her head. Agustín grinned over the rim of his mug.

"They could’ve at least used a better picture." He said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Your main concern is that they didn't use a better picture of you?" Innara asked him with amusement dancing in her eyes.

"Of course, what's the use of this handsomeness when they can't post a good picture of me in their articles?" Agustín said trying to sound narcissistic drawing a small laugh from her.

"So you don't care about them assuming your dating life?" She asked and he shook his head in denial.

"They can just assume but can't see what I have with me." He said intently looking at her making her a little nervous so she looked down at her coffee.

He noticed that she was getting nervous and uncomfortable under his gaze so he also looked down returning his attention back to the article. Soon they both had their breakfast.

"So what would you like to have for lunch?" He asked her gaining her attention and she thought about something for a while.

"Can you teach me how to cook, something?" She questioned him back which made his raise his eyebrow at her.

"Why out of a sudden do you want to cook, Señorita?" He asked her and whenever he calls her with that name she smiles at him even if she doesn't know its meaning.

"I don't like it when you do all the work and I just come to eat and then return back to my room without doing anything. I don't want to be a bother. She resonated with her lips formed into a thin line.

"First of all, you are not being a bother at all and second of all, if you want to learn cooking for yourself then you are welcome but if you want to learn it 'just because you are being a bother' then no thank you." He said dramatically rolling his eyes looking at her. Innara looked at him shocked for a while and soon a chuckle left her.

"So what's your decision? Why do you want to learn it?" Agustín asked her after folding his arms over his chest like ready to give her detention if she chooses the wrong option.

"I want to learn it for myself." She said encouraged by him and he also nodded at her satisfactorily.

"Okay then, let's start our cooking session after a few hours." Agustín said standing up from his place and she also imitated him.

Suddenly his phone rang startling her which made him smile and he looked at the caller ID flashing on the phone screen and then back at her.

"Excuse me, it's my client's call. I have to attend it." He said excusing himself but he noticed when he mentioned 'client' her body stiffened as if she was scared of something.

He understood immediately what words such as 'client' can have its impression on her because of the place from where she came. He sighed and silenced his phone first looking at her.

"Relax, I'm an advocate and it's a call related to my upcoming hearing in the court." Agustín explained to her and saw relief washing over her.

She nodded and walked back to her room while he received the call and took the phone to his ear but his eyes and attention was completely on her. When she entered inside her room and closed the door behind her, he also turned around and walked back to his own room while engaged in a conversation with his client.

Later, he showed her how to cook tortilla Española. She stood awkwardly beside him in the kitchen, watching his skilled hands crack eggs and slice potatoes. He explained everything in a low, melodic voice. Calm. Assuring. She was listening to him intently like a kid listening to its teacher, she tried to remember everything and then he asked her to try some.

He stood at a side observing her trying to work with concentration which made him stifle his laugh because of the way her tongue peeked out of her lips for a while when she did some hard task but he didn't let himself laugh loudly or it would have lowered her confidence. She ended up burning the first batch and got disappointed but he consoled her and encouraged to try again.

After they were done, they had a lot of tortillas with different shapes, sizes and colors. But they still ate it, laughing as they chewed on crispy corners and undercooked centers. Still he appreciated her hard work and encouraged her that next time she will do better.

"This recipe is especially invented by mama." He started gaining her attention.

"She seems like a great cook." Innara complimented which made him nod.

"Indeed she is." He said with a gentle smile on his face.

She looked at his smiling face intently. He never treated her like a burden, never like someone broken. And it was in that softness that she found herself relaxing. Just enough to lean back into the warmth of the world again. He was bringing her real self out to which she herself wasn't aware.

One afternoon, he brought her a stack of second-hand books. Stories. Poetry. A notebook and pencils.

"You’re not just a mother. You’re still a person. Maybe you forgot that." he said, placing them gently on her lap.

She stared at the notebook for a long time that evening. Then, slowly, she began to write. Revise all the things she has learnt in that hell hole when the world is sleeping. In that place she didn't let herself be bound by the situation and completed her basic education through the new coming, young girls who were experienced, working women before getting pushed into that hell hole.

And she was grateful to them for helping her whenever she needed. At least, she knew basic things even if she doesn't have any qualification certificates and degrees to work somewhere but still she knows enough to survive between the people around and communicate with them because she doesn't know Spanish.

Some days, they sat on the balcony in silence, watching the golden hues wash over the terracotta roofs. The city sounded alive — distant music, children yelling, horns in traffic. But up here, wrapped in late sunlight and the gentle flutters of her unborn child, Innara felt something like peace. Like she was healing from that haunting last of hers.

And Agustín — always nearby, but never too close — became her calm.

He didn’t ask her for gratitude or trust. But she began giving both, piece by piece.

One night, as a soft storm rolled over Madrid and raindrops tapped the window, she sat beside him on the couch, covered in a blanket. He had fallen asleep with a book in his hand. His jaw was bruised from a fight a few nights earlier — something he never explained.

She reached out, hesitated… then lightly touched the bruise with her fingers. Not pity. Not guilt.

Just care.

He stirred slightly, eyes opening. They stared at each other.

"Sorry." she whispered, pulling her hand back.

"You’re allowed to touch what you want to protect." he murmured, his voice thick with sleep.

"I didn’t know I still had that in me." she replied, voice shaking slightly.

"You do. You never lost it." He said he gently reminded her of herself.

That night, for the first time since they’d met, she fell asleep on the couch. Right beside him.

No fear. No nightmares.

Just quiet.

And the steady rhythm of someone who didn’t look at her like a shadow — but like a sunrise.