Chapter 5

The plane I was in landed at the Philippines Airport. I exited the plane with my luggage and walked straight to the exit of the airport. When I got out, I immediately hailed a taxi and get inside the cab. I told the driver the hotel name where I’m staying and he drove me there.

Because of so much tiredness, I couldn’t even bother myself to watch every scenery we get to pass. I just slept.

I don’t know how long the ride had been, I just knew we arrived already when the taxi driver woke me up. I handed my fare to the driver and thanked him. I walk towards the hotel entrance. The guard happily welcomed me and greeted me, I greeted him back with the same energy even though I felt so tired already.

I walked towards the front desk and greeted the lady politely and she did the same to me. She asked things and I answered. After some questions, she handed me the keys of my room and called a staff to escort me.

Arriving at in front of my room number, I thanked the staff and opened the door. I entered my hotel room and walked towards the bed and place my luggage on the floor beside the bed. I laid on the bed and closed my eyes to sleep. I’m soaring down there.

I WAS WOKEN up by my phone ringing. I lazily stood up and picked up my phone.

It's my mom. I answered the call. “Hello, Shil?.” My mama on the other line.

“Hello ma, how are you?” I answered and ask her.

“I’m good, how about you? How’s Bangladesh?”

“It’s good. Though I didn’t get to admire the country that much. I’m back at Philippines already, ma. I’m just staying in a hotel now, tomorrow is my flight to Butuan.”

“Oh, that fast? Why so fast, dear?" my mom curiously asked.

“Like I said Mom, I’ll only be there to attend Kier’s graduation and after that I’ll fly back to Philippines. Back to Butuan. And not to mention that I have a job there, I can’t stay there for too long. So here I am.” I answered and laughed a little.

Yeah right , I asked for a one week leave and honestly I still have time but then I can’t stay there for too long.

“Yeah I remembered that, it’s just. You could have stay there more so you can have more time with him, isn’t that what you wanted?” she asked.

I chuckled dryly at that, “Yeah that’s what I want but you know, things happened. I’ll tell you the details when I arrived at home.”

Mama sighed “Okay. Okay. You should take rest now. You must be tired. Have a safe flight tomorrow, dear.”

“Yeah I will, thanks, ma.”

“Bye and Good night.” “Bye.”

My Mom ended the call. After the call ended, I put back my phone to the bedside table and laid back to the bed.

I felt so tired from the flight and my kitty down there still hurts so much. “Fuck, it hurts!”

I tried to overcome the pain but failed. I stood up and carefully walked towards the bathroom to shower. I showered for almost 10 minutes. I love the feeling of the cold water falling down to my head down to my body. ‘So refreshing…’ I thought.

After taking a shower, I wore my robe and stepped out the bathroom. I walked towards the bed and took a towel to dry my wet hair. After drying it’s wetness, I laid down the bed and relaxed my body on it. I slightly close my eyes and after some time, I already fell asleep without eating.

I WOKE UP feeling the sun’s heat hitting my face. I opened my eyes and stretched my body. I stood up the bed and started to get ready for my flight.

After readying my things, I stepped out the room and walked towards the elevator and entered. I tapped the bottom floor button. After a few minutes the elevator opened and I stepped out and walked towards the front desk to check out.

After checking out, I walked towards the entrance and hailed a taxi. When the taxi arrived, I get in and tell the driver my destination and he began driving. It’s s not so hard dealing with the peoples here in Manila since I know how to speak Filipino language just fine.

We arrived at the airport and I stepped out the cab after giving the driver my fare. I entered the airport and walked towards the baggage checking area. After everything, we were escorted to the plane. I entered the plane and sat on the seat. Before the plane could move I was already sleeping.

WOKEN UP by the flight stewardess and told me that the plane had landed already. I looked outside the window and saw Butuan’s Airport.

I stepped out the plane and walked towards the entrance to exit of the airport. When I exited the airport, I called my friend and ask if she can fetch me. She agreed and I waited for her.

After a while, finally she arrived and I opened the door and get in. “You didn’t tell me that you were coming home now.” She immediately asked after I settled.

I laughed at her. “Sorry Trix, it’s a sudden flight.”

“Yeah, whatever. By the way, how’s Bangladesh, Shil?” she asked.

“Bangladesh is good. Well sorry if I can’t describe it much, I didn’t stayed there for long, and when I was there, the only place I went is Daffodil University—Kier’s campus, and the hotel I was staying in. And also the airport.” I laughed seeing her expressions.

“The fuck Shil?! You didn’t even just went to beach or a mall or else where? What kind of vacation is that? Huh?” she shouted and asked me while still driving. She’s mad. Silly woman.

“Chill Trix, well it’s not like I went there to have a vacation though. I went there to attend on Kier’s graduation not to have a vacation.”

“Gosh Shil. You could have just stay there a little and have some fun.”

“Only if you know, sis, only if you know.” I just said and looked outside the window.

What happened that night is now replaying on my mind. I shook my head trying to keep it off my mind. I closed my eyes and just savor the silence inside the car. Such a memory that is fucking hard to forget…

Trixie drove her car to my house. “I’ll just drop you for now Shil, I have to go back to the school before the class starts. Sorry I’ll be back later with Shantel. Got to work sis.” She laughed a little.

“Nah, its okay Trix, go on. Thanks for fetching me even you’re busy at school.” I said and hugged here before stepping out of the car.

After we bid good bye to each other, she started her car and maneuvers head to the school she’s working as a teacher.

When her car is out of sight, I face my house door and opened it. I get in and walked straight towards the stair and went upstairs to my room. I entered my room and place my luggage on my couch inside the room.

I took off all my clothes and walk towards the bathroom to take a shower. I took a bath. While under the shower, my memory of that night keeps on replaying in my mind. Remembering Kier’s face and what we did hurts.

I tried my best to get it off my head and continue showering. After I showered, I took my robe and wore it. I stepped out of the bathroom and walked towards my closet. I wore my favorite cotton short and paired it with my crop top.

After changing, I stepped out my room and went to the kitchen to get something to eat. I decided to just make a sandwich and a coffee.

I sat on the couch on the living room and opened my phone. When I opened it, I saw message notifications from Kier.

I opened it and read his messages.

‘Shil, where are u?’ he chatted.

‘At my house, why?’

Him: ‘Why did you leave me after that night?’

Me: ‘Huh? What are you talking about, Kier? What do you mean by me leaving you after a what, a night? Care to explain, please.’

Him: ‘Shil, don’t play dump on me now, dear. You where here, in Bangladesh, you were there on my graduation you said, we did something that night and you just leave me in that fucking hotel after we did it, Shil!’

I’m getting nervous, my heart are beating so fast. The fuck. I never thought about how to counter it if it happens. I need to make him think that its just a dream, but how? Ahh fuck, what should I do?!

I replied to him. ‘Just what the hell you talking about, Kier?! I’m here at Philippines, hello? And the fuck you talking about that we shared something? What kind of craziness is this Kier?’ I hit send and wait for his reply.

He didn’t reply instead he called me.

“Shil, please, stop playing with me. We had sex that night. You were here, in my country, Shil! I was just drinking when you chatted me to come to your hotel room and you let me inside and I-I, w-we had sex and we fell asleep and when morning came you weren’t there anymore.” Kier desperately said on the other line.

My heart thumped. Lying is a sin but I don’t care.

“Kier, please stop it. I was just here the whole time. And I never chatted you that night to come on, a what, a hotel room? Even if you check our conversation , the last time we chatted that night is when I congratulated you. The fuck man? Are you dreaming on having sex with me? Or is it when you had sex with someone that night you were thinking that it was me? The hell?!” I answered to him and he became silent for a while.

I waited, and few minutes had passed and he still silent so I added, “And if ever that I was there, why would I have sex with you, huh?! You’re a friend of mine Kier for fuck’s sake! God, what’s up with you man?! You know how badly I want to be there on your graduation day and you know too that I can’t because I have a job here and I can’t take a leave. The hell is wrong with you, Kier? Have you lost your mind?” I was expecting him to reply but he just stayed silent. “Jeez, Kier. Check our conversation if we have a conversation there about that shit you’re talking about. The hell? I’ve never thought that you would think such thing Kier. I thought we’re friends?”

I don’t want to but I need to do this, I need to hurt him. Even the truth is, I’m the one who’s hurting at my own words. But I need to cut ties with him. It hurts doing this but I have to.

“ I’m done with you, Kier. I’m so fucking done with this shit. I thought we’re friends. You told me before that we are just friend and you’d think like that?!”

I’m such a bitch for doing this. I know.

“I can’t handle it Kier, you did this to me before and you said, t-that you’ll never do that kind of bullshit again. I’m so done. I’ve never thought that all these years, you think of that. I’m out man.” Likely as earlier, he didn’t say anything.

“Sorry if I’ll stop communicating with you for a while Kier. I need a break from you. I know it’s somewhat unreasonable but yes, we’re cutting ties. Hope you understand…” I said and took a deep breath to control my voice not to crack.

“I’ll say it again Kier, I wasn’t there in the Bangladesh and I was never there on you graduation day and we didn’t share anything like you said. You must be just dreaming or you really had it that night but with the other woman, NOT ME. Bye.” I said with finality in my voice even though my heart is breaking and my tears fell one by one.

I turned off my phone and put it down to the couch and just closed my eyes as tears continuously falling down my cheeks. They won’t stop shedding so I just let it be. I’m crying while my eyes is closed. My heart felts like its breaking into pieces. I laid down the couch and cried. Can’t hold it anymore, I felt like I need to let it out.

I cried so hard until my eyes got swollen and I fell asleep. It’s already late night when I woke up. My head hurts so bad along with my stomach. I felt so hungry and so tired at the same time. I stood up and walked towards the kitchen while massaging my head. “Shit, it hurts!”

I entered the kitchen and took a headache medicine. After taking the med, I started cooking something to eat. After cooking, I ate it and walked back to my room. I entered my room and laid on my bed.

I felt the silence inside my room. What happened this afternoon replayed on my mind and I felt my heart breaking again. My tears started to fall down to my cheeks.

I hope he’ll get over it and forget. I really need to move on and forget this feelings I have for him. I hope I can. This time, I’ll do my very best to move on and make this fade. I just need time for this. I hope he’ll just forget what happened.

I started crying again and fell asleep with a broken heart and a swollen eyes from crying afterwards.