Bloodlust

It felt like I was oblivious of what was going on around me. I don't know what to do and I don't have anything in mind. Except for the book in my hand that I am staring at. The thick pages of old paper and the heavy leather cover felt cold in my palm and fingertips. 

Questions flooded my mind. Have I gone crazy back then? Do vampires really go crazy when they smell blood in the open air? Or is he just hungry? I don't know. I want to know though. 

Atlas entered the chamber with warm water in a wooden basin and cotton cloth. She didn't say a word while making sure that there was enough warmth and enough herbs to put in the bite. After she cleaned it, she rubbed some ointment on the wound and it healed. 

She gently caressed her thumb on my pulse. Hastily, I pulled it back from her. 

"Are you scared of me now, Sol?" 

I stared at her, not knowing what to answer. Am I supposed to say that I'm not scared even though my body reacted in a different way? He bit me. He was a vampire. And Atlas is one of them too. I don't know...

"My body is trained to eat human food. I can survive in both worlds. You shouldn't be scared of me, Sol. Though, I can't lie that your blood does smell tempting. It smells like vanilla or the blood of a newborn human child. It's addicting...the scent itself, it is. But I am in full control of myself. I don't give in to temptations like what most vampires do. The only ones who go rabid with your blood are those who are in thirst for human blood. I don't have bloodlust unlike Lord Minir." 

I listened to every word she said and made sure that I will surely survive this hell now. 

"What will happen if vampires are under the influence of bloodlust?" 

She paused and answered, "Bloodlust is like being drunk but worse. It makes you thirst for blood more than you ever did in your normal state. It's a danger to everyone. When someone is in bloodlust, no such thing will calm them down. They will kill and drain everyone's blood. They don't care about their victims whether you're a vampire or not. They only want blood. Your blood." 

I shook my head. This is something too serious. How am I supposed to go out right now? Everyone is surely trying their best to not smell the scent of my blood. Now that it's out, I'm sure I could be the reason for some of them to stumble. I don't want that. 

"Atlas, can you help me?" I asked her, not knowing what to really do right now. 

Confusion is ruling the very best of me so I don't really have anything to do. It feels like I am reaching my limit to live. 

"Anything for you, Sol," She calmly looked at me before going back to admiring the blood flowing in my blue veins. 

"It's something I really need to do. You see, I am a helsing. But the thing is, I don't really know who I am anymore. I feel different, Atlas. I feel odd." 

"Isn't that what blood slaves always feel?" 

"I don't know? Is it?" 

She shrugged and said, "But if you really want to know something. You can ask me about it. In the old mansion where I truly lived, my parents owned the biggest library of the kingdom. There are plenty of books in there that haven't been saved yet. I have little knowledge about the place but...I do go every night to visit. It's just a few woods away. Not too far from here." 

"Do you, by any chance, stumbled upon any books about the Helsings?" 

"I'll try to find something." 

"Thank you." 

She shook her head, placed her palm under my jaw as if she's a mother trying to comfort her daughter. Her skin felt cold but because of her gesture, I now feel warm. 

"I once lost my memory. And someone who looked exactly like you...helped me." 

"Really--" 

The door flew open, and Lord Minir entered with his dark usual eyes. From being this open person just a while ago, he has now suddenly become cold and full of death glare. 

"Leave." 

He coldly told Atlas to leave. I, on the other hand, sat on the chair and watched Atlas scurried silently out of the room. It was too silent for my liking but atleast, I can finally feel the comfort I have been trying to feel this whole time. His presence alone made me feel sleepy. 

"How's the bite?" He asked, stripping his cloak off his body, leaving the manly corset and the white shirt. 

"It's fine. Atlas cleaned it." 

He nodded silently as he stared down at the book resting on my lap. I gulped. He looked so serious, like a predator ready to swallow the whole of me. I took a deep breath and made sure that my intestines were calm enough to face him. I know he's probably so mad right now knowing that another vampire took a bite in my skin, and drank the same blood he drank. I couldn't stare at him longer so I dropped my own eyes on the book. 

Can he just go do his thing? He keeps on staring at me. It's uncomfortable. Yeah, but I'm also just too scared right now. 

"You can sleep in my bed. I'll be in the office the whole night." 

I gulped, feeling the coldness of his voice that sent shivers down my spin. It's torture. This is torture. 

"I'm sorry..." I broke out. 

He was still silent so I continued. 

"I didn't know it was going to happen. I destroyed everyone's night. I'm sorry, master." 

I heard his long, painful sigh as if he's trying so hard to not to groan.

"I didn't know he's going to do it. I'm sorry..." 

He heaved up a long breathing. 

"Forgive me, master..." 

I stared at him. 

He said, "You let him bite you. That is betrayal." 

I shivered. His cold voice is killing me! I feel so small. 

"You betrayed me, woman."