Chapter 0004

In the subsequent folder, a treasure trove of Christmas memories awaited: Jack playfully offering Sarah a Christmas cookie, Sun and Anja donning Santa hats, and a festive mulled wine gathering at the dorm. Following these cheerful moments were snapshots of her family celebrating around the Christmas tree, with Mom modeling a gifted coat, Dad proudly presenting a new tool, and Robert warmly embracing a hefty cookbook.

Moving on to another folder, D unearthed a trove of memories from a trip to Venice with her Italian course companions. There, she discovered images of Sarah striking a pose in front of picturesque gondolas, Sarah and a fellow traveler waving enthusiastically from the Rialto Bridge, and a drenched yet contented Sarah alongside D in a restaurant, indulging in generous plates of steaming pasta.

D handpicked a selection of these Venetian memories, adding them to Sarah's folder, and proceeded with her journey through the digital photo album.

There were several snapshots of Robert, proudly posing next to his brand-new car. Following that, a sequence of photographs depicted people in a dorm kitchen, appearing quite inebriated, surrounded by candles, wine bottles, and beer glasses.

Her finger danced on the mouse as she rapidly browsed through the images, but her pace came to a halt when she stumbled upon a photo of Carey conversing with Sun in the Reilleys' garden, both clutching glasses of wine. A lump formed in D's throat as she realized these memories were from Sarah's 21st birthday celebration.

She was now delving into more discomforting memories. Suppressing the urge to switch to a less poignant folder, she continued scrolling through this one, revealing pictures of Sarah pointing at a beautiful birthday cake with the words "Happy 21st Birthday," Sarah mingling with her birthday guests, a wonderful shot of Sarah's parents, and a weary-looking Grandma Reilley seated in a chair.

With one more click, Grandma vanished, and in her place appeared the entire Reilley family, gathered beneath their cherished cherry tree.

D felt a lump in her throat as she looked at the joyful family in the photo – Sarah, her mom, her dad, her grandma, and Joe.

The image was from nearly six years ago. Could she still hold a grudge over that? Absolutely not! She willed herself to shift her attention to Sarah's brother.

Prior to this birthday celebration, she had never crossed paths with him. She'd certainly heard about him, though. He was a year younger than Sarah, had attended school with Jack and Sun, was now studying in Vienna, and seldom made the trip home. Consequently, his presence at Sarah's birthday party had been a delightful surprise.

Gazing briefly out the window, D inhaled deeply, uncertain of the emotional impact these photos might have on her. To her immense relief, the experience was surprisingly okay. She could look at his picture without being overwhelmed; it had become a mere collection of old photographs.

It felt as though she had conquered a feared challenge as she continued to browse through the folder. She selected a few pictures of the birthday girl and her friends, purposefully avoiding any with her brother. These photos were destined for Sarah's collection. After a stretch and a yawn, she reassured herself that she had gathered enough evidence of her effort, and that was what truly mattered.

However, a thought crept in: why not explore a few more pictures? Now that she knew it was alright…

She proceeded to open the following folder. In one picture, Sarah, Jack, and Anja stood beside their bicycles, framed by the beauty of blooming trees. Another photo captured her and Sarah basking in the warmth of spring sunshine on a bench. During the bike ride, Sarah shared news of her brother's impending return to Innsbruck in April. The motives behind his mid-term university transfer remained elusive, but Sarah had concocted various imaginative theories, all rooted in the suspicion that her brother's romantic entanglements had somehow embroiled him with the daughter, niece, or girlfriend of a professor who, indisputably, was now causing him considerable turmoil.

D absently clicked through the following images: pictures of her parents; Robert and herself in their backyard at home. There were also some snapshots of Carey and Anja painting a white wall a warm yellow, Sarah stirring paint in a bucket, and Jack and Tony taping off window frames. This all took place in Anja's apartment back in May of that year. They had all pitched in to paint the walls and assist with the move.

By that time, Joe must have returned to Innsbruck, but he hadn't been present for the painting or participated in any group activities for a while. One reason was his busy schedule as he tried to adapt to Innsbruck University's different curriculum to pass his yearly finals in June. The other reason, a subject Sarah liked to complain about, was his focus on his motorcycle and pursuing romantic interests.

D ran her fingers through her hair, attempting to focus on the photos rather than the overwhelming flood of memories.

She selected a handful of photographs from the painting project and transferred them, then proceeded to the next folder, unable to resist.

The sequence began with a picture of Jack proudly displaying his recently revamped old VW beetle. Sarah and Joe stood alongside the car, both giving a thumbs-up.

The process had been gradual, her heart gradually falling for Sarah's brother...

Even though he had yet to engage in group activities, their paths crossed when she visited the Reilleys to see Sarah. Mrs. Reilley persistently insisted she stay for dinner before returning to the dorm. Joe had sat across from her at the dinner table. Their interactions were limited to polite greetings, occasional requests for the butter, and the like.

That all changed one Saturday in late July when, spontaneously, he joined Sarah and her by the river.

Blocking out any deeper thoughts about this day, D continued going through photos: There was Sarah standing next to Joe’s motorcycle, a look on her face that clearly showed how much she detested that thing; Joe and his Dad, both smiling, the tension tangible despite the friendly faces.

D clicked further. There were pictures from up at the mountain, some snow on the ground. The whole gang had taken the cable car up that day in late August. The view had been fabulous – snow-covered sun-lit mountaintops, fog in the valley.

The next photos showed Rick and Sarah putting their knitted hats on; then Jack, Rick and Joe building a snowman.

Joe’s coming along for this had been a surprise. It had been the first time he actually joined the group since he had moved back to Innsbruck.

As D clicked on, the snowman onscreen was finished and finally given someone’s knitted hat, Jack’s scarf and buttons made from some cookies Carey had brought.

A little hesitant, D continued going through the following photos: Tony pretending to strangle the snowman with the scarf; Joe attempting to protect the snowman with a broken ski pole that he had found nearby; Rick walking away with the snowman’s head under his arm. Finally: their group gathered around the headless snowman, Sarah cradling the snowman’s head and Jack stroking it’s cheek.

Joe had been standing right behind her when this picture had been taken. It had probably been a coincidence. She still remembered being so aware of his being there. And it had been the first time she had secretly wished he’d stand closer.

Stubbornly ignoring the pang in her stomach that the photo caused, she marked the picture and added it to the collection for Sarah. It was a good shot, so, why not?

Afterwards she closed the folder and leaned back in her chair. Maybe it was time to stop. What she had seen so far, had affected her less than feared. There was no need to push it, though. And something told her that the material in the following folders would be pushing it. What she’d get to see was plenty of photographic evidence of her relationship with Sarah’s brother. She really didn’t need to see that! Or did she?

Twisting a strand of hair between her fingers, she dropped her eyes to the keyboard. To stop or not to stop?

She glanced back up at the screen. Then, slowly, she steered the cursor towards the next folder and opened it with a double-click.

As soon as the overview of miniature pictures came on, she changed the view to list, making the forty mini pictures disappear and pulling up a list of forty file names instead. The file names consisted of the letter P followed by a seven-digit number, and there was no way of telling which picture those were pertaining to. She was going to play this like Russian roulette – steer the mouse on a file and open it with a double-click. She was going to apply this procedure to a few randomly picked pictures from this folder and the following two, then she would stop this and have her shower.

The first photo she opened showed herself, standing beside her bike, shooting an undecided look into the camera.

Not giving herself time to think about this very first bike ride with Sarah’s brother, she picked another picture. It turned out to be Joe sitting on her dorm bed, a coffee mug in his hand.

D swallowed. This must have been after his accident. Yeah, because there were the crutches beside the desk.

Drawing in a deep breath, she clicked back to the list of P-files, placed the cursor somewhere and double-clicked. Her parents’ Christmas tree with a lot of nicely wrapped packages lying underneath…

She had left Innsbruck that year to spend the Christmas days with her family. The plan had been to be back in Innsbruck for the gang’s New Year’s party. But then, on Christmas Day she had come down with a bad cold and a fever, and there had been no chance she could have travelled back to see her friends. It had been devastating – until, totally out of the blue, Joe had showed up at her parents’ house and ended up staying over New Year’s.

Releasing a shaky breath, D opened the next folder. Looking at the list of numbers before her, she tensely steered the mouse almost all the way down: Jack, leaning against a tree and eating a banana, Tony and Kim hugging in the background. Probably one of the first times Tony had brought his girlfriend along.

Next photo: Herself sitting on a bench, a sandwich in hand, and Joe leaning over from behind the bench, pretending to be clawing for her sandwich.

The following picture turned out to be of the dorm kitchen after the cleaning service hadn’t showed up for four days in a row. She had e-mailed this ‘piece of evidence’ to the carrier that ran the dorm.

She chose another file: Robert, Joe and herself in her parents’ living room, Joe’s arms wrapped around her.

Before she could get sucked into memories here, she closed the file and the folder and then just sat there for a moment. Did she really want to see more?

Not quite sure what was driving her, she opened a folder from a year later. First picture: a small wooden cabin at a lake, trees around it, Joe’s car parked next to it. They had spent a few days at his aunt’s cabin.

Even though she knew, she should probably avoid the following photos, her hand had already clicked further: Joe standing in the lake, the water up to his waist, hair dripping wet, the cabin in the background.

D swallowed. Then she gave the guy on the screen another glance and finally made him disappear.

Okay. Deep breath…

Last two pictures.

Her hand a bit sweaty now, she clicked on whatever the cursor landed on: Joe at the grill, waving a dangerous-looking fork at the camera and smiling a big smile.

D exhaled and scrolled all the way down to the very last photo: It must have been taken in a Chinese restaurant. There was the typical décor and lots of bowls with all kinds of dishes. Across the table, Rick was holding up his chopsticks and beside him, Sarah was smiling. To her right, Jack was looking into the camera – with Liz cuddling up to him.

D exhaled and closed the file.