5.

ALORA

I waited for Dilora to defend herself, because there was no way in hell that the Dilora I knew in high school would let anybody try to humiliate her, even her friends. Imagine my surprise when she didn’t do as I expected.

Instead, she sat quietly with her gaze on the ground and didn’t utter another word. Hani and I exchanged surprised glances. I guess we shared the same thoughts.

This was not the outspoken Dilora I knew back in high school. Was she serious when she said she had changed? Did this new version of her somehow lose the ability to defend herself?

Was she going to let Brielle paint her as an easy target for the people in this hall? I made up my mind to defend her just this once when Hani Dora spoke up.

“Are you just going to let this fake boob bimbo talk shit to you?” Dora was angry, and I could understand.

“What can she say?” Brielle scoffed, “She knows she isn’t on my level. She can’t talk to me when she is just discarded trash,” she snickered.

“Funny how you keep picking on everyone, do you feel threatened? Is that why you need to pick on people to feel better about yourself and your last season's shoes?" Hani snorted, and Brielle's eyes widened in shock.

“They aren’t last season. I just got them," she sputtered, but Hani scoffed.

“Darling, they are totally last season. I would know. Those are my mom’s designs." She smirked triumphantly and gave a high-five to Harvey behind my back.

The crowd booed her and her minions, and she had no other option but to stomp away angrily, making me breathe out in relief. The class turned their attention away from us now that the fun was over.

“Are you okay?” Harvey asked me quietly while leaning over.

“What? I’m fine." I attempted to smile, but it came out shaky.

“You should hide that.” He smiled sympathetically before pointing at my hands. I followed his direction and saw mine trembling on the table.

“It's not that...” I tried to explain that I wasn’t scared, but he just smiled at me.

“Trust me, I understand more than anything,” he said, giving me a sad smile. He leaned back and went back to typing on his phone before I could ask him what he meant.

I removed my hands from under the table and clenched them together on my lap. I felt a strong urge to look around and see if anyone could see me, trying not to fall apart.

“That was intense?” Hani chuckled.

“I know, right? Who still bullies anyone in college?” Dora scoffed, and they shuffled closer and began to talk about it.

Unable to stop myself, my gaze found Kian's, and his eyes were already on me. He was watching me with clouded and knowing eyes. Despite the earlier warnings, I couldn’t bring myself to snap away from his gaze.

For a moment, it was just the two of you in the hall as the others faded away. His eyes watched me with dark intention as though they were mocking me. Calling me out on all my lies.

His eyes made me shiver with unwanted awareness, and I felt the strong urge to wrap my hands around myself as if it could shield my walls from his prying eyes.

The terrifying thought that there was a possibility that he could read me like an open book scared me and made me want to run out of the hall before he could see the dirty part I wanted to keep away. I hated that even with the terror slowly creeping in, I couldn’t look away.

Something sinister told me that all of this was just for show, but I would never allow him to prove himself right.

“Hey,” Hani tugged on my arm softly, causing me to break the stare down that I was having with him.

“Yes?” I asked, turning to look at her.

“That was intense." She said, making me raise my brows in confusion when I saw Dilora, Harvey, and Dora all staring at me with mixed curiosity and concern.

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

“The staring contest with Kian. Everyone was watching you and Kian. It felt like we were intruders in your space," Dilora whispered harshly.

“I wasn't looking at him." I tried to deny it, but my voice was weak, and they threw me a 'Are you fucking joking?' look, and I sighed in resignation.

“I can’t help it,” I answered weakly.

“Lora, you can't," Hani whined softly.

“I won't, and don't call me Lora. She is." I pointed at Dilora because that was what she was called in school.

“Fine. But stay away from him. We literally warned you just now," Harvey chuckled.

“It's not funny." Dilora glared at him.

“Sorry, sorry." He raised his arms in mock surrender.

“Guys, drop it before I get mad. I've heard you already," I told them because I hated feeling like I didn’t know what I was doing, and that was exactly how they were making me feel with their constant warning.

At that moment, the professor for the course walked in, and the entire class stopped chatting to pay attention to him.

My heart constricted in my chest, and my palm clutched the hem of my dress while everyone paid attention.

Breathe in

Breathe out.

Take it easy.

Nice and calm

I'm helping now, so it's not like I only antagonize you.

The familiar voice in my head snarls, breaking out of the prison I thought I trapped it in for the day.

I'm the only one allowed to make you suffer.

You better calm the fuck down, Alora.

I thought you said you weren't pitiful.

What's all this now?

Don't be such a coward.

The voice turned punishing, and I dug my nails into my lap, desperate to get rid of it, needing the pain to drag me out before the whispers pull me under.

You're only showing them by hurting yourself.

They can see your lap. Your gown isn't very long.

It warned, and I ripped my hands away from my skin and dragged my dress to cover the cut my nails had already caused. My hands tingled, desperate to hurt something or claw something, so I pulled out the pop socket in my bag to get my hands busy.

Dilora threw me a curious stare, but she didn't comment and resumed paying attention to the professor while I clicked furiously at the silent object in my palms.

I turned my attention to the man in front and tried to pay attention to him, hoping it would take my mind off what I wanted to do and off the person still staring at me.