3.     Games

The boat was amazing; a thing of beauty, all white on white and exposed wood. Built on three levels and designed for a superior outdoor lifestyle, the yacht had a gleaming sundeck, bow seating and even a swim deck to launch jet skis.

Eric was pretty impressed, calling it a super yacht.

I rolled my eyes, he could afford it, I thought.

Good for him. I wondered how many other friends he’d hosted here.

How many other women…girlfriends…

How convenient.

I stopped that thought in its tracks. None of my business.

We went inside for the full tour, even more ostentatious I thought as we were led into the main saloon, the forward end of the cabin had been turned into a eat in galley complete with bar stools with the rest of the space furnished with comfy looking couches.

Ashton told us how there were four staterooms below decks and two cabins for the crew…

Damn… just the kind of toy that separated my world from their world.

Just what was I doing here? What was I thinking? I thought as we went back to the bow, I looked out at the sea.

As I moved with Eric over to the rails, the boat started to move and I held on to Eric.

“Amazing isn’t it? You can feel it battling the waves” said Eric

“Yeah” I said but it felt like I was talking about myself, battling the waves, the inevitable.

“C’mon let’s get something to drink” Eric took my hand and led me away.

I shook off my morbid thoughts.

We went up to where everyone else was hanging out and Zayn handed us both a drink.

Emre wasn’t there. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I relaxed my shoulders; slowly let that feeling move through my body.

I let the sun and the fresh sea air work its magic on me.

We both sat down and I had relaxed a tiny bit, the surroundings having their effect on me.

Mert was a bit quieter than everyone else, like me… Only speaking when spoken to.

How odd, unlike me, the outsider, they were his friends. I could only guess at his reasons, maybe he liked one of the girls, maybe he was naturally shy, who knew.

Melisa caught my attention; I told her I liked her dress. She looked especially pretty today in a strapless blue dress with tiny white anchors all over it. We got into easy conversation because Melisa was like that, an easy person to be with. She had a purity, a kindness about her but which wasn’t obvious.

Zerrin cut off Melisa mid-conversation to ask if she had any sunscreen.

Melisa said she didn’t. I had a bottle of it.

I told her I did and immediately regretted it because she immediately started quizzing me about the spf and the brand.

I told her I’d just get it for her to get her to stop.

I remembered too late my backpack was still downstairs with the rest of the stuff and I’d have to leave Eric’s safety.

I debated whether to lie and say that I’d forgotten it too but I might need it later, i thought.

In any case, I wasn’t a coward. I got up to go.

“Just what I need, a reason” I muttered to myself as I looked around to see if anyone was there before kneeling down to rummage inside my bag.

Where was the sunscreen? I had a chronic problem with finding things.

“I feel like a thief, where is it?”

“You still talk to yourself Sarah?” A voice said behind me and I controlled myself from jumping up in fright.

I would’ve recognized him by his voice alone, low, edgy, rough… sweeping all over me.

I took a deep breath and removed my sunscreen from inside the bag. Slowly standing up and turning around, I faced him.

“And you still sneak up on people” I replied, glad I still had on my sunglasses; I didn’t want to meet his eyes.

“No, I still sneak up on you…”

I raised both hands palms up to show I wasn’t going to have this conversation.

“So much for small miracles,” he said, “Thought you were going to pretend you didn’t know me for the whole trip” He said with a smirk.

Without looking at him, I stepped aside to leave, “No but I wish I could and that’s enough.”

I almost ran upstairs but I forced myself to calm down. When I got back, Pelin had taken my place next to Eric and I felt like crying. He was my shield.

She was sitting even closer to him than I was.

I called out to Zerrin and tossed her the sunscreen as I sat down. She didn’t catch it in time and it fell to the floor.

Oh, for the love of God. Did that girl realize what I’d gone through for that bottle?

I wasn’t going to apologize for that bit, my mood was already sour.

I sat down opposite Eric, my head turned towards the ocean.

I just wanted to get lost but maybe that wasn’t what the fates had planned for me today because Emre came around the corner and looked at the space next to me with a raised eyebrow.

I just shrugged. It was his boat; he could sit wherever he wanted.

Emre sat down next to me and struck up a conversation with Zayn and Mert on the boat’s specs.

As if we didn’t already know how cool it was.

I looked at Eric who was busy looking at some pictures Pelin was showing him. I sighed.

I felt alone suddenly, out of my depth.

I peeked a look beside me… it was unreal really that Emre was sitting next to me… of all the jin joints…

I let out a dry laugh…

He was right in front of me after so much time, close enough to touch. It seemed like an eternity had passed but the pain had not.

And yet I wasn’t sure if the pain was the pain he had inflicted or the pain of parting.

It had all merged and become this sad little ball inside me.

I chanced a look at him again… it was a relief, as if I’d allowed myself a sip of cool water after  being out in the sun too long.

All I wanted to do was to keep looking at him, until I had absorbed every little detail about him, every little change.

He almost looked the same, if even better, that little shadow of a beard suited him. I couldn’t see his eyes because of his dark glasses but I knew what color they would be, grey with tiny gold flecks. Beautiful. I looked down his straight nose down…down to his lips…oh God.

Down… I was down to a new low…

Down to his hands just as he reached up to rub his neck.

I looked away and took a deep breath…

I reached over for a drink and took some much needed gulps; my throat was dry as dust.

It was just the heat getting to me, I told myself…

My body felt like an electric current was passing through me.