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39. Zayne

"Zayne." My name sounds far from familiar. I still turn around to look at her as she stands there, worry written all over her face. I watch as she intertwines her fingers with mine, pulling me into her embrace while I'm wondering about how I'd keep on living from now on. I feel immense hate that I can't put on anyone but myself, and I'm drowning in it. It's a darkness that only I can bear, but it's suffocating me. "You'll be okay."

I know if she says so, I'll be fine. Eventually, someday, but not now. Now it feels like I'm sinking in self loathe and despair. I hug her tighter, her head against my chest. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Myla smells of hope and healing, and comfort. So I hold on to her as if she's my lifeline. I feel small in her hold, hidden and protected as if nothing can ever hurt me. She might not know it, but she had saved me from everything and myself.

We cancel the dinner and we drive back home. During the whole ride, she doesn't let go of my hand, rubbi
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