CHAPTER 11

Morgan's POV

I'd left the twins with a last-minute nanny before heading to the meeting this morning. Some sweet college student Jennifer had arranged through the building's service. Before walking out the door, I'd made a bunch of promises of taking them to Central Park. About getting ice creams and having fun.

Normal mom things.

Things I couldn't do now.

Because I'd spent the entire afternoon locked in my bedroom. Staring at the ceiling, trying to process the fact that Damien was going to be my boss for the next year.

Kathy had knocked, and asked what was going on, If I was okay multiple times.

I couldn't answer. The words always stuck in my throat. Besides what was I supposed to say? That the father of my children didn't recognize me? That touching his hand had felt like being electrocuted? That I wanted to scream and cry and set the whole world on fire?

So I'd stayed silent and hid, trying to process my life…until my stomach started growling and guilt started eating at me worse than the hunger.

I'd also promised to have dinner together with the boys. Some spaghetti and meat balls.

I dragged myself out of bed. Splashed cold water on my face. Tried to make myself look less like someone who'd been crying for hours.

It didn't really work though and at this point it didn't matter. Nothing mattered in my world now.

When I walked into the dining area, I froze.

The table was set. Plates of food sat waiting, pasta with marinara sauce….the twins' favorite. Garlic bread and a bowl of salad with what seems to be with mayonnaise.

And sitting at the table were Kathy and my boys. All three of them. Wide awake despite it being nearly eight o'clock.

"Mommy!" Timothy spotted me first. His face lit up. "You're finally here!"

"We waited for you," Tanner added. "Aunt Kathy said we had to eat but we said no."

My chest squeezed tightly at Kathy.

"You didn't have to wait," I said softly. "You must be starving."

"We wanted to eat with you." Timothy's lower lip jutted out. "You promised we'd have dinner together in our new place. You promised, Mommy."

"I know, baby. I'm sorry. Mommy just—" My voice cracked. "I had a hard day."

Kathy stood from her chair. Her expression was carefully neutral but I could see the concern underneath.

"The kids refused to eat without you," she said quietly. "I tried. Trust me, I tried. But they're stubborn."

"Wonder where they get that from," I muttered.

"I heard that," Tanner said.

Despite everything, despite the nightmare of a day I'd had…a small smile tugged at my lips.

"Come on." I moved to the table. Pulled out my chair. "Let's eat before this gets cold."

The boys dove into their food like they hadn't eaten in days. Which, considering they'd probably had snacks all afternoon, was dramatic even for them.

Kathy served me a plate. Pasta. Bread. Things I should have wanted but my stomach was still twisted in knots.

I picked at it anyway, for the boys.

"So." Kathy's voice was casual. "How are you feeling?"

Translation: What the hell happened today and why did you lock yourself in your room for six hours?

"Tired," I said. Not a lie. I was exhausted. Emotionally, physically and spiritually.

"The meeting went well though, right?" She wasn't going to let this go. "I mean, besides you running into that guy in the hallway. What was his name? Marcus?"

Timothy's head popped up. "Who's Marcus?"

"Nobody," I said quickly. "Just someone from Mommy's work."

"Is he nice?"

"He was very nice," Kathy answered before I could. "Very friendly. Wasn't he, Morgan?"

I shot her a look.

She smiled innocently. "What? He was. Charming, even. Don't you think?"

"I think we should talk about literally anything else."

"Why?" Tanner asked. "Was he mean to you, Mommy?"

"No, baby. He was fine."

"Then why don't you want to talk about him?"

Because his brother is your father and I'm having a mental breakdown.

"Because Mommy's work is boring," I said instead. "You don't want to hear about boring meetings and boring people."

"Marcus didn't seem boring," Kathy muttered into her wine glass.

I kicked her under the table.

She didn't even flinch.

"How was your day?" I asked the boys, desperate to change the subject. "What did you and the nanny do?"

"We played games!" Timothy said around a mouthful of pasta. "And she read us stories. And we watched TV."

"We asked her if we could go to the park but she said no," Tanner added. His voice turned accusing again. "Because you were supposed to take us."

The guilt twisted deeper.

"I know. I'm sorry. Tomorrow, okay? Tomorrow we'll go to the park. I promise."

"You promised today too," Timothy said quietly.

The words hit harder than any anger could have.

"You're right." I set down my fork. Looked at both of them. "You're absolutely right. Mommy broke her promise. And that wasn't fair to you. I'm really, really sorry."

They both stared at me with those gray eyes. Damien's eyes.

God, they looked so much like him.

"It's okay, Mommy," Tanner said finally. "We know you had work stuff."

"Yeah," Timothy agreed. "But tomorrow you don't have work stuff, right?"

"Right. No work stuff tomorrow. Just us."

That seemed to satisfy them. They went back to eating, the crisis averted.

But Kathy was still watching me. Still waiting for an explanation I couldn't give.

"Morgan," she said softly. "What happened today? And don't say nothing. I know you. Something is wrong."

Everything is wrong.

My boss is the father of my children.

The man who erased me is back in my life and doesn't even know it.

I'm trapped in a year-long contract working for a company that could destroy everything if they find out the truth.

"I'm just overwhelmed," I said. Which wasn't entirely a lie. "New city. New job. Big campaign. It's a lot."

"Is that all?"

No.

"Yes."

She didn't believe me. I could see it written all over her face.

But she nodded. "Okay. But Morgan? I'm here. Whatever you need. You know that, right?"

"I know."

The boys finished eating and started arguing about whose turn it was to pick the bedtime story.

I watched them. These two little humans I'd created. Protected. Raised alone.

They deserved better than this. Better than a mother who was falling apart.

They deserved a father.

But not him. Never him.

He was the kind who walked away.

The kind who erased people.

The kind who would break my boys' hearts just like he'd broken mine.

No.

They were better off not knowing.

Better off thinking their father was just some mistake their mother made a long time ago.

Better off with me. Only me.

Even if keeping that secret was slowly destroying me from the inside out.

"Mommy?" Timothy's voice pulled me back. "Are you crying?"

I touched my face. It was wet.

When had I started crying?

"No, baby. Just tired. My eyes are tired."

"You should go to bed early," Tanner said seriously. "That's what you always tell us when we're tired."

Out of the mouths of babes.

"You're right. Early bedtime for everyone tonight."

"But Mommy—"

"No buts. It's been a long day. Let's get ready for bed and I'll read you both two stories instead of one."

That got their attention. Two stories was a rare treat.

They scrambled down from their chairs, racing toward their rooms to get ready.

Leaving me alone with Kathy.

"Morgan—"

"Don't," I said quietly. "Please. Not tonight. I can't... I can't talk about it tonight."

She studied me for a long moment. Then nodded.

"Okay. But soon. Because whatever this is, it's eating you alive. And I refuse to watch you destroy yourself."

She stood. Squeezed my shoulder. Left me sitting at the table surrounded by half-eaten plates of pasta and the ruins of my carefully constructed life.