Past Trauma

"Welcome, Mr. Wiratama," said Mr. Wildan, making me realize that this was not a dream or a hallucination.

"Call me Dave," he said, still expressionless, his gaze fixed on me. I could feel his sharp gaze traversing my entire body as if to strip me naked. God, this asshole, how dare he?

"Oh yes, Pak Dave, I am Wildan Handiansyah. I am the manager in the Marketing division, and this is Agneta Laurinda Aretina; she is the best employee in the marketing division at this company," explained Pak Wildan.

I still stared at him hatefully; I even clenched my fists on both sides of my body. The wounds that I buried long ago are now coming back to the surface. There is a pain that is imprinted in the recesses of my heart. The wound is very painful because of the man in front of me.

He stared back at me with a glare full of intimidation of his own. Absolutely nothing has changed; he is still the same Dave as he was five years ago. He walked towards me, making me take a step back to put some distance between us. He kept approaching me as if he wanted to close the distance between us. I immediately lowered my head because I was no longer able to return his scary gaze or melt my heart.

"Long time no see, Neta!" His whisper made me shiver and swallow my own saliva.

I still don't want to return that intimidating stare. I really hate this meeting. I really hate it.

"I miss you," he whispered right in my ear, then walked away. Makes my breath stop for a moment.

After he left, this time Pak Wildan looked at me questioningly. It seemed he was curious about Davero's behavior just now.

"Excuse me, sir!" I said that because I didn't want to discuss anything about Davero with Pak Wildan.

***

I'm currently sitting on a chair in the office cafeteria. I'm enjoying my food. Luckily, Aiden was at work, so he couldn't have lunch with me. No, more like I was stirring my own food without tasting it. My mind drifted, thinking of that man. How did he come back? The man I desperately wanted to wipe off the face of this earth was in the same office as my boss. Should I leave this office? Doesn't that sound exaggerated? I really, really hate it. I don't even want to mention his name.

"Hey! Even dreamy. Thinking about Aiden's brother, huh?" It dawned on me. I immediately corrected my sitting position and the look on my face.

"No," I replied.

"What's wrong, Tae? Are you still mad at Aiden?" she asked.

I just shook my head dispiritedly.

"Does this have anything to do with Regan? Regan is fine, right?" He asked again, and Sonya looked worried.

"He's fine, Sonya."

"Then why?" He touched my forehead, making me wince. "Not hot," he said.

"I'm fine, Sonya, dear," I assured her.

Sonya is my best friend and neighbor; she is the closest to me. After that incident happened, I never wanted to have friends again because everything was only sweet in front of me. Sonya didn't even know about my past life; she knew I was a single parent who was abandoned by my husband and raised Regan alone. He was also the one who helped me get into this big company, so I was able to meet Aiden. Aiden knew my story, but he didn't leave me. He still accepts me as I am, even though I haven't said everything. Our relationship has entered its first year, but I repeatedly rejected Aiden's good intentions to marry me. I don't know what I'm considering again, but what's certain is that my heart isn't completely for Aiden.

He is still there. The man who became my first love The man I love and hate at the same time The man I never wanted to meet in my life is now my boss, and unfortunately, he is the sole heir of this big company. Another bitter truth is that he is the cousin of my beloved Aiden. My God, what is the point of all this?

"In fact, daydreaming again, your mood is really bad right now," Sonya said, making me realize again that she was still in front of me.

"Yes. It's really broken," I replied.

"But at least keep eating, please," he said, and I nodded.

My gaze went out the cafeteria window; there, it was clear that the man was walking towards the office lobby.

"Look at our new boss! So handsome, right? This is the so-called perfect prince. Already handsome, he is also a billionaire. The company is in several developed countries, and of course there are lots of women who are willing to humble themselves just to be able to sleep with him," Sonya said exaggeratedly. For some reason, it made my chest feel hit and feel pain.

"Not all women are like that," I said, annoyed. Offended by his words.

"Heh, Lo, why are you so emotional? What impression does he have that he is not good for Lo? But really, he's a bit ignorant; he can't even make a smile," Sonya said at length, and I couldn't help but snort.

How could that heartless man be called the perfect prince? Seriously!

***

The next day, I arrived late to work because Regan was somehow cranky this morning and I didn't want to leave her at school. Aiden also couldn't deliver because he was having a meeting out of town. I was forced to wait for him for an hour until he recovered and mingled with his friends. After entering the lobby, I rushed to the elevator without paying attention to my surroundings so I could enter the elevator, which was almost tightly closed. I immediately pressed the number seven button to go to my room, but I smelled a familiar masculine perfume on my senses. Perfume? I look back, and damn it! I didn't realize that I had entered the special elevator for high-ranking officials and that jerk was standing right behind me with his gaze, as usual, sharp and full of intimidation. I immediately pressed the elevator button many times to stop the elevator and get out of this cramped and scary room.

"I didn't think we would meet again after so long," he said haughtily.

I didn't want to respond at all and kept trying to press the elevator button while reciting prayers for the devil behind me to disappear from world civilization. I flinched as he grabbed my arm and pinned me against the elevator wall. What does he want? Afraid? Well, that's how I feel right now. Memories from five years ago came back to haunt me. A painful incident that succeeded in ruining my life.

"What do you want to do?" I asked sarcastically:

"What is it?" He flashed a grin, one eyebrow raised. It still looks the same as before; nothing has changed.

"Get out of the way!" I said it sharply.

He probably thought I was still Agneta from five years ago, whom he easily tricked and fooled. Now I am Agneta, who will never lose again. Love? I don't want to know that word love anymore. Enough of all that pain!

"You just look prettier. Where are those thick glasses of yours?"

His words made me look away because I didn't want to look at him again. "Sorry, honorable Mr. Davero. Can you step aside? If other people see us like this, then bad gossip will spread quickly. You don't want to be gossiped about in magazines and newspapers because you were caught being indecent to your subordinates," I said firmly, not wanting to show my fear.

Of course, she just smiled sweetly at me—not her usual sweet smile. It was a sweet smile that kept a deadly poison in it—a smile full of mystery that even made me shudder.

"I don't care," he said.

He's getting closer to me; even if I move a little, maybe our noses will touch. His minty breath tickled my skin. Oh God, help me. Now I feel very scared, with cold sweat all over my body. Shadow fragments of the past filled my mind again. The brain that I had previously erased and replaced with good memories of Regan and Aiden was again attacked by a virus from this man. I looked down in fear, not wanting to see the look in her eyes that could deceive. My whole body feels frozen and has goosebumps.

Aarghhh! let go! it hurts! Please don't do this, please! Sob. Scream after scream jostled my memory back.

Ting!

Thankfully, the elevator doors opened on time. I pushed Davero's big body with all my strength and immediately ran out of the elevator without wanting to look back. I went straight to the toilet, which was near my room, and cried in one of the cubicles. My chest feels squeezed; it feels very tight. The painful fragments are gradually rising to the surface.

Why? Why didn't God answer my prayer? Why should he come back? How about this? What should I do? Should I get out of here and choose to go as far as possible?

No, Agnes. It is very difficult to get into this company, even just relying on your high school diploma. You must be strong, Agneta. If you're weak, how about Regan? What would you eat if you were to leave a job that has helped keep Regan and your life alive so far? You are no longer the weak woman you were five years ago, Agneta. You are a strong woman, and you have to be strong for Regan.

Yes, all for the sake of Regan alone. Only him and for him! My only son That's what I thought when I cried over everything.

***