His Shadowed Desires

The sharp antiseptic smell of the hospital clung to the back of my throat as I sat on the edge of the hard plastic chair, my fingers twisting nervously in my lap. The beeping monitor by my mother’s bedside echoed softly in the small, quiet room. She was asleep, or at least pretending to be. I couldn’t tell anymore.

Her weak frame seemed even smaller under the hospital blankets, her once vibrant presence dimmed by endless chemo sessions and too many nights of pain. My heart twisted as I looked at her, guilt warring with helplessness.

The soft vibration of my phone in my jacket pocket startled me. I pulled it out quickly, glancing down at the screen. "Pickup at 7th and Dock. Don’t be late."

The message was from a number I didn’t recognize, but I knew who it was. It always worked that way—anonymous messages, coded words, no questions. The clock on the wall read 9:15 p.m. I didn’t have much time.

“Who is it?” My mother’s voice was weak, but her tone was sharp, cutting through the quiet room.

I hesitated, my thumb hovering over the screen before slipping the phone back into my pocket. “No one,” I said, my voice steady, too steady.

She opened her eyes, her sharp gaze cutting through my lie. Even sick, my mother could read me like a book. “You’ve been acting... strange, Cassandra.”

“I’m just tired,” I said, forcing a small smile.

Her brow furrowed, and she pushed herself up in bed with visible effort. “Don’t do that. Don’t lie to me. You’ve been running around, coming back late, dodging questions. How are you even paying for this?” She gestured weakly to the room, her voice rising in frustration. “This isn’t cheap. I know what insurance we have left, and it doesn’t cover all of this.”

I stood up, my stomach churning. “It’s taken care of, Mom. You don’t have to worry.”

“Taken care of?” She laughed bitterly, which turned into a rattling cough. I stepped forward, but she waved me off. “Don’t act like I’m stupid, Cassandra. What are you involved in? Drugs? Gambling? Tell me!”

The accusation stung, but I couldn’t blame her. How else could I explain the sudden influx of cash? I clenched my fists, forcing the words out. “It’s nothing illegal. I promise.”

Her eyes softened, but the worry didn’t leave her face. “Then why can’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s complicated!” My voice broke, and I turned away, staring out the small window. The night outside was dark and empty, the city lights a faint glow in the distance. “I’m doing what I have to do, okay? For you. For us.”

“I never asked for that,” she whispered, her voice cracking.

I turned back to her, my chest tight. “You didn’t have to. You’re my mother. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you alive.”

She looked at me for a long moment, her expression unreadable. Finally, she sighed, sinking back into the bed. “I just don’t want to lose you too.”

Her words hit me harder than I expected, but I couldn’t let them sink in. I couldn’t let her see how much this was tearing me apart. “You won’t,” I said softly, grabbing my jacket.

“Where are you going?”

I hesitated, hand on the door. “I’ll be back soon. Just... get some rest.”

Her disappointed silence followed me out the door, cutting deeper than any words could.

---

The night air was cold and damp as I made my way to the pickup spot. The streets were quieter than usual, the occasional car passing by, headlights cutting through the darkness. My boots clicked against the pavement, the sound unnervingly loud in the stillness.

7th and Dock was an old, rundown area near the harbor, the kind of place you didn’t go unless you had a reason. As I approached the corner, I spotted the man leaning against a lamppost, his face obscured by the shadows.

“Cassandra?” he asked, his voice low and rough.

I nodded, keeping my distance. “You have it?”

He reached into his jacket and pulled out a small, nondescript package, no bigger than a paperback book. “Same deal as always. No stops, no questions. Got it?”

“Got it.” I stepped forward, taking the package from him.

He lingered for a moment, his eyes scanning the street before nodding and disappearing into the shadows. I slipped the package into my bag and turned to leave, my heart already racing.

The delivery point was only a few blocks away, but every step felt heavier than the last. My instincts screamed at me to keep moving, to stay alert, but the thought of the argument with my mother pressed down on me, clouding my thoughts.

I was halfway down the street when I heard footsteps.

They were faint at first, blending into the ambient noise of the city. But as they grew louder, closer, my pulse quickened. I glanced over my shoulder, catching a glimpse of two figures trailing me.

“Shit,” I muttered under my breath, picking up my pace.

The footsteps quickened, matching mine. Panic shot through me, and I broke into a run, my boots slamming against the pavement. The package thumped against my side with every step, a stark reminder of why I couldn’t stop.

“Stop!” one of them shouted, their voice sharp and commanding.

Like hell I would.

I darted down an alley, the narrow space barely wide enough for me to squeeze through. My lungs burned, my breath coming in ragged gasps as I pushed forward. I could hear them behind me, their footsteps echoing off the brick walls.

“Get back here!”

Adrenaline coursed through me, drowning out everything else. I reached the end of the alley and skidded to a halt. A tall chain-link fence blocked my path, too high to climb quickly.

“Cornered,” one of the men said, his voice smug.

I turned to face them, my back pressed against the cold metal fence. They were both wearing dark clothes, their faces covered by masks. One of them stepped forward, holding out his hand.

“Give us the package, and no one gets hurt.”

I clenched my fists, my mind racing. There was no way I could fight them off, and running wasn’t an option. But I couldn’t just hand over the package either. I didn’t know what was in it, but I knew enough to understand that losing it would have consequences.

“Sorry,” I said, forcing a smirk. “I’m not in the mood to negotiate.”

The man laughed, a low, humorless sound. “Your choice.”

Before I could react, he lunged at me. I ducked, slipping under his arm and sprinting back down the alley. The second man grabbed at my bag, yanking it off my shoulder.

“No!” I shouted, spinning around to grab it back.

He shoved me hard, sending me crashing to the ground. Pain fired through my palms as they scraped against the rough pavement, but I scrambled to my feet, my eyes locked on the package in his hand.

The first man grabbed my arm, twisting it painfully behind my back. I struggled, kicking and thrashing, but his grip was like iron.

“Let her go,” the second man said, tucking the package under his arm.

The first man hesitated before shoving me forward. I stumbled, catching myself against the wall as they turned and disappeared into the night.

My chest heaved as I leaned against the wall, my heart pounding in my ears. The cold night air stung my skin, but all I could feel was the crushing weight of failure.

The package was gone.