Move on...or not

Asher’s POV

“What?” I repeat out loud and I hear the delay on her side, “I said I’m again married honey” she says and the taste of orange juice in my mouth turns bitter, “dad's body hasn't even gone cold in the ground yet” I say in pain.

She doesn’t respond to me, I don’t give her the chance to, how can she possibly explain this without hurting me more?

“Does Sofie and Luca know?” I ask her quietly, needing to see if my younger siblings are swept into whatever rubbish this is, it’s terrifying to find out that even my mom isn’t respecting my father’s death as she should.

“Yes, honey they know about it, they met him and they love him too…” mom adds the unnecessary detail to placate me, but I really can’t make any sense of it, my eyes are starting to burn with the tears that threatens to fall, “why didn't they tell me about?” I ask, Adam's apple bobbing as I swallow.

“Because they know you'll react this same way” she says, bringing her voice to a softer tone, “like what?” I dare to ask, fighting off tears and pain and…betrayal.

“You’ll act like I don’t deserve to live life too, like I’m never going to feel lonely and-”

“I have to go for now mom” I whisper, getting out of my chair with my deeply bitter pheromone around me like a cloud.

“Hurry home, okay? Stephen would love to know you” I end the call before she says more.

I don’t want to meet any Stephen, I don’t want to go home, and I don’t want to let my father go just like this, replaced by a stranger that knows nothing about us.

I feel a touch on my back that makes me turn my head to the side, it’s Aurora, “trouble at home?” she asks and I just give her a sigh in response, willing my tears away even though it’s obvious that I am on the edge of breaking.

“I have to return home today” I say, turning my face away from her and she frowns.

“Are you sure you want to go home?” she asks softly.

“I have to, I can’t run forever” I tell to her and the female omega stands on her tiptoe to run her fingers through my hair, the touch is more comfort than my own mother has ever given me and I lean more into the touch.

“I don’t know much, but Ash, if you ever need me, this home is always our safe space, okay?” she says and I nod, pressing my lips together to hold back the tears.

My life is shitty in many ways than one but I’m lucky to have Aurora and Jayden as friends.

Putting myself together, I carry my things for work and when we get to the door, Aurora pauses to remind me of the men that came looking for me earlier.

“They looked really scary; they had tattoos and wore all black” she says and I can’t think of anyone who would send people to find me…did mom hire them to get me? Am I even safe to grieve anymore?

The day goes by in a blur of flashes, models and noises in the background; all together they feel like preparation for the step I’m about to take, everything around me feels like something that I won’t like is going to happen.

A driver from my family estate comes to pick me up and I am driven back to the place I have avoided for so long.

The Adams Estate.

The scenery has changed so much, the trees that were dead when dad died are now lush and beautiful, the once grey and sad sky are now blue, there are songbirds singing and people going about their day.

It makes me wonder if I am the only one stuck in the past…maybe I need to let it go or I just need to go back to last night.

In that tattooed stranger’s arms, I didn’t feel pain like this, I just…lived.

“My son! Asher!” my mom’s high-pitched voice reaches me as soon as I step out of the Audi, she is dressed like a woman that hasn’t had a single loss in her entire life, bright and stunning with her dark hair held back stylishly.

“Hi mom” I greet her quietly, already feeling sick and wanting to leave at the sight of the silver band on her finger, “oh, this is my wedding ring” she says when she notices my staring and she holds it up for me to see, a part of brain tells me there is something familiar about the ring while the other part is completely repulsed.

“Come on honey, you need to meet Stephen, Luca absolutely adores him” mom says and pulls me into the mansion. Each step I take feels like a punishment for a crime I don’t know.

“Stephen! My son is finally here” mom says and thrusts me into the living room where a man in glasses is seated in the same position that attracted me to the stranger last night; strong thighs spread open in a manspread with a book in his hand.

The man looks up to see who his wife is introducing to and my heart flies up to my throat…this has to be some mistake; I look back at my mom and then at the man sitting in the black leather chair.

Why is the man I slept with sitting in my family home like he belongs here.

“Ash, this is my husband Stephen, Stephen this is my son, Asher” mom says.

No. no. no. no.