Chapter 5

We chatted every day after that, sometimes only for a few minutes, as he was so busy, but mostly at night we would talk about all kinds of things, family, music, never quite giving out enough information to fully identify ourselves, but nevertheless getting to know each other. I found myself sharing my issues with making friends my own age and my theory relating to my older parents. There was a freedom in sharing my innermost thoughts with someone and I wondered if this is what it must be like to have a best friend. We never did complete our picnic scene but he remained affectionate and kind and I knew I was falling fast.

It was soon Spring Break and I’d told him I was heading home, to Rye. I let him know that I should still be able to chat from my computer at home, I found myself looking forward to finding his name light up on my friends list. He encouraged me to enjoy my break, and not to worry about chatting with him.

Y0urM1n3 “But don’t forget Angel, you’re mine”

He signed off the night before I left and my heart thumped excitedly at the idea of a man claiming me, particularly that one man.

Rye in spring was beautiful, cherry blossom was like confetti in the air from the trees that lined the streets, the area I grew up in was in the wealthiest part of the town, where my parents had moved when they learned I was on the way. They quickly made close friends with the neighbors who had an even bigger house than ours next door. Max and Amy were the closest I had to an Aunt and Uncle, as both my parents were only children. I spent as much time in their house growing up as I had my own.

The car my dad had sent for me pulled up on the street and as I got out I noted Amy tending to her rose bushes and waved. She beamed and put down her clippers and pulled off her gloves as she walked over to me and enveloped me in a hug and battered me with questions. “Eve my dear, it’s so good to see you. How is college? How’s the city treating you? You found a guy yet?”

I smiled warmly at her as we pulled apart and tried not to look frustrated at the last question. “I’m fine, I love the city and I’m still happily single Amy. I hear Max is retiring, you must be thrilled.”

“Oh I am Eve, I really did think it’d never happen, but he’s finally happy for Rob to take the reins and I’ve already got a cruise booked.” she beamed “Oh! you’ll come to the party tomorrow I hope? Rob and Sarah and her kids are coming home, it’ll be nice to have everyone back on our porch again.”

“She’ll be there” my mom answered for me as she approached from the drive and kissed my cheek “I’m glad you’re home Eve, we missed you” she wrapped her arm around my shoulders and squeezed before directing the driver to leave my luggage in the hall. After some small talk Amy returned to her roses and mom and I walked back to the house.

“You look well darling” Mum commented, “I’d been a little worried, but..” she stopped and turned me to face her as she held my shoulders. Her eyes searched mine before looking me over from head to toe. “You look … happier.”

I smiled and pulled her into a hug. “I love you mom” I told her. “I’m fine, I’ve always been fine.” I wouldn’t ever burden her with my loneliness. We walked into the house and chatted happily about the latest neighborhood news. It seemed Sarah was separated from her husband, who had been unfaithful. This saga took my mother at least an hour to detail to me in excruciating detail as I sat holding a coffee. I got up to make another cup as she moved on “And Rob has apparently said he may not be able to make it, Amy is beside herself, she wanted everyone there, especially as he’s taking on Max’s role. "

I frowned, it did seem a bit unusual “What’s stopping him?” I hadn’t seen Rob for years since he moved to the city full time about 10 years ago but I knew they had always been a close family.

“Oh he’s saying it’s something to do with the business he needs to handle but well, Amy thinks he and Megan are having issues.”

“I’m sorry to hear that” I murmured bringing back fresh cups, and handing one to Mom. “I haven’t seen him in… must be 10 years.”

My Mom smiled and reached out to touch my cheek “Oh I remember, you were so taken with him when you were little. I remember you asking me if you might marry him one day. So sweet. " she chuckled and I felt the blush in my cheeks burn.

“Mom!” I complained, “I was a kid, I didn’t know.”

She smiled warmly at me “I know love, and I blame myself, you never spent time with boys your own age, of course you would fall for a man who looked like the prince in all your fairy tales. It was so adorable.”

I tried to smile and sipped at my coffee while we waited for Dad to come home. She continued on, moving onto the goings on with the family across the street. Mom had retired 5 years ago, and while Dad continued working the events in our little neighborhood had been her main source of entertainment.

Soon Dad was home and we easily slipped back into our old routine. Dad would talk a about his day over dinner, he and Mom would discuss cases he was working on and I’d listen and take in what I could. I love my Dad, he had a powerful presence when he entered a room and was a very well respected and feared contract attorney, but to me he was a Teddy Bear and he was never anything less than completely adoring. Yes, I was spoiled, but I didn’t think it had damaged me in the way it had so many others. I wasn’t entitled, I knew I had to earn my place in the world, and I was grateful for everything I had.

After dinner Dad and I moved into the lounge and he poured himself a Whisky, probably a good Scotch, before relaxing in his favorite chair and crossing his legs as he looked over at me and smiled warmly. “So Eve, how is my girl doing in College eh? You still happy with your Major?”

I chuckled, I knew in his heart he wanted me to follow him into Law but I had no passion for it. I lived and breathed literature since I started to read and I hoped one day to add to the list of notable American authors. My backup would be to teach, and my minor in education had me covered there. It wasn’t a very sore point with us, he’d always supported me in whatever I wanted to do, but I was aware a part of him was a little sad I didn’t choose the same path.

“Very happy Daddy, we’re focusing on British Authors this year, I’m reading Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.” I answered and I saw his smile brighten as he sensed my enthusiasm.

“Well now we have the internet, I wonder if there will be any books in the future, it seems every written word is digitized and kept on disc drives, not on paper.” He waved at the floor to ceiling bookshelves we had in the room. “This will be consigned to ancient history.”

I looked at the shelves, filled with law books, and some classic literature and sighed. “I hope not Daddy but what matters is that the power of the written word will continue, one way or another.”

He nodded and sipped at his whisky, “Very true sweetheart.” he smiled warmly “You’re so smart, I am really very proud of you Eve.”

I beamed at his pride, rose from my seat to move across the room to him “You’re getting sentimental Daddy. I love you” I leaned down and kissed his forehead, “I need to go work on my assignment a little. OK?” he nodded, his eyes glassy as he reached up and stroked my hair and I left him to go to my room.

He hadn’t realized it but talking about the internet had reminded me, it was a little later than the usual time I would chat with Y0urM1n3, or Sir as I was to now call him. My heart quickened as I climbed the stairs and entered my room, ignoring the mementos of my childhood as I made my way straight over to the P.C. in the corner and turned it on. I changed into my pajamas as it booted up and as soon as I could I opened up the chatroom. Almost immediately before I even noticed who was online, a ding alerted me to a private message.

Y0urM1n3 “I missed you today Angel”

LuvNHugs “:-) I’m here, Sir!”

Y0urM1n3 “I’m so glad, how was your journey to Rye?”

LuvNHugs “Easy enough, my dad sent a car. Have you had a good day?”

Y0urM1n3 “You’ve been on my mind Angel, do you know how distracting you are?”

LuvNHugs “I don’t mean to be distracting Sir, I hope I haven’t caused trouble.”

Y0urM1n3 “No trouble, Angel, just on my mind, more than I think you know.”

LuvNHugs “What are you thinking about when I am on your mind?”

Y0urM1n3 “I wonder… what that long, curly auburn hair would feel like in my fingers, how you might feel in my arms, how your lips would taste, and how YOU would taste.”

Ah he was feeling more frisky tonight it seemed. I had wondered if he had gone off the idea altogether.

LuvNHugs “I imagine you holding me Sir, and I feel so… safe.”

Y0urM1n3 “You do huh? *grin* I don’t know why I feel so drawn to you, this isn’t like me. I like to be in control Angel and well, I feel like this is controlling me.”

I didn’t know how to respond. He continued.

Y0urM1n3 “How do you feel about meeting, in real life?”

I gulped, hard. My heart thumped loudly, I couldn’t possibly meet him. I’d told him everything but he’d still expect the hot girl in the story who started this, no I needed to shut this down.

LuvNHugs “Um, I don’t know, I kinda like things like this”

Y0urM1n3 “Safe”

I knew he didn’t understand, he wasn’t happy and it hurt my heart,

LuvNHugs “I really, really like talking with you Sir, I do. I’m just not who you would expect in real life.”

Y0urM1n3 “What do you think I expect Angel? You’ve told me all about yourself, I know I’d need to take things slow, and I want to, I just need to know if you want that too.”

There it was, the cold sweat that proceeded the shutdown I would inevitably deliver.

LuvNHugs “I can’t, I’m sorry, I need to go, big party tomorrow. I’m sorry”

I logged off and stared at the screen his words still there as tears fell heavily. I did it again, I was my own worst enemy and would forever be alone.