CHAPTER 63

"Hey, now. Shhh." Beth moved next to Lily and slid an arm around her. The succubus sobbed and rolled toward her. It was just like comforting a child, minus the excessive swearing. "It's going to be okay, Death is explaining things to them now."

"We are so fucked," Lily muttered. "Do you know what the difference between an angel and a demon is? Daddy issues and membership to an exclusive club. That's it. Angels can have agendas just like demons do. If that thing out there came all this way in order to find out if it's time for the world to end, then it will stack the deck in its favor."

"What do you mean? Wouldn't that be against...Sky Daddy's will?" She decided to go with a term that Lily would find acceptable.

"Logic and reason don't apply to the divine. They are beings that live outside of time and space, they don't see things the way you do. Why do you think I can take shortcuts through Hell? It overlaps everything, just like Purgatory. I even overlap with myself. How do you think I change shape? I'm not made of flesh and bone, but something else entirely. It's like that black shit they pulled out of you, it's pure potential with no direction. Do you know why the universe keeps expanding?" Lily's voice had calmed a little. "Scientists think it's some leftover energy, or whatever. It's because this plane is finite, while others are not. The universe is trying to play catch up to its big brothers and sisters, and will eventually tear itself apart to do so."

"I so enjoy these chats," Beth noted sarcastically. "Very uplifting."

"That thing out there is just a demon who hasn't pissed off Daddy yet. Does that put anything into perspective for you? If it can smash you into powder while coloring inside the lines, it will do so in a heartbeat. The asshole won't even be angry while crushing you, it'll be in such a rush to satisfy Daddy that it'll take the shortcut."

"You have a very dim view of angels."

"Religious politics aside, I can't help you with this one. Just its arrival almost killed me, and if not for our resident screamer, I'd be gone already. If I step outside of the house, it will probably kill me on sight. Not send me to Hell: oblivion. Gone, poof! You won't even have dust to put in a jar for Romeo to cry over."

"Beth?" It was Kisa. She came into the bathroom, a frown on her face. Lily shifted out of Beth's arms before they could be seen. "Death needs to talk to you."

"And so it begins." Lily waved Beth off with a tiny hand. "If you need me, I'll be in this tub. I'm the new maiden of the bath, here to dispense orgasms and advice."

"Not looking like that, you won't." Beth pulled the towel off the hook and threw it over Lily's head. "Here's a blankie so you don't get cold."

"Thanks, Mom," Lily mumbled through the towel as she flipped Beth off.

Beth followed Kisa down to the living room. Death stood in the door, his cowl pulled back. The flames in his eye sockets had grown tiny, and he was fidgeting with his fingers.

"You need me?" she asked.

"Yes, I believe I do." Death stared down at his feet. He did a little shuffle, like he was trying to kick a piece of dust off the floor. "It seems that I am in need of your legal services, Judge Bethany."

"Okay, three things. Only my grandmother calls me that, and—"

"She's dead, yes." Death smiled sheepishly.

"I'm not a judge, I'm a lawyer," Beth added.

"I apologize. You wanted your own title, and I thought you would enjoy that one as it is related to the law."

"Oh." She remembered shouting after him the other day for a title. "I appreciate the thought, but I don't want to be called judge anything."

"Princess? Queen? Barrister?" Death paused to gaze at the ceiling in contemplation. "Supreme court justice?"

"Three. Why do you need a lawyer?" she asked.

"Ah. Well, I thought I would impress upon my siblings and the honorable angel Mehkhkahrel the things I've learned since arriving at this. My presence here was quite by accident and never intended to set off the Apocalypse itself. I thought that by showing them how I have indulged in your culture that they would realize that I came to Earth without any malice toward Mankind."

"Okay." Beth waited for him to go on.

"It would seem that we have a dilemma. You see, the angel is under the belief that the Apocalypse is at hand, and has stated that my continued presence is proof of such a thing. My siblings, who are very eager to walk the Earth and destroy it, have sided with him."

"But you were summoned here for a different reason, though."

"Yes, but they didn't seem to care. The point of the matter is that the angel has ordered that either I leave this plane right away or allow them to formally open the Seven Seals so they can rain judgment on Earth."

"Oh. Oh!" Beth's jaw dropped open. "You can't leave, can you?"

"I cannot." Death shook his head sadly. "Until I have collected the soul of the one known as Amir, I am bound to this world."

"Shit. So where do I come in?"

"Well, the angel was about to pass judgment when I reminded him that it was the law of the land that I get access to an attorney. I also told him that I had the right to remain silent."

"And he listened?" She looked out the window. The quartet of chaos was standing there, staring at the house.

"This is an angel of judgment. Of course, he didn't." Death wandered over to the window. "But he had promised to consider all angles. I informed them that my attorney would have a unique perspective relevant to my case and then held him to that promise."

Her stomach cramped and she felt light-headed. What would Mike do in a situation like this? She observed each of the horsemen, watching them as they remained motionless. "Your brothers wouldn't happen to be susceptible to flirting, would they?"

"No. They have no interest in sex. And neither does Pestilence."