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Thirty-Eight
“I’ll be out in ten minutes.” Hiro-san announced and got up from the dining chair when I approached after finishing my bath. Hikaru-nii had finished before me. “You both can talk all you want in the meantime.”
“Ah. Thank you.” I handed him the towel when he passed me, then took the chair that he had just vacated, opposite my brother.
I breathed.
This was it.
… Why was this more nerve-wracking than the time I confessed to Hiro-san?
“Hikaru-nii-”
“Wait.” He stopped me. “First, I want you to listen to what I have to say.”
I held his gaze, surprised that he had had anything to say at all. “Okay.” Go on.
He took a moment to start speaking, nevertheless. “I actually got scared today.”
Scared? “Why?”
“I was in office when Hiro called me and… he said you weren’t feeling well. I haven’t been paying you much attention either nowadays and… You live with me. We live in the same house. If anyone, I should have notice
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Home Thirty-Nine
Hiro-san was sitting on the bed, one hand on the towel, slowly drying his hair. When I entered his room, he stopped to look at me, then looked out the door and called out to my brother. “Hikaru, is it really okay? I have a futon.”“No. It’s okay. The couch is enough.” Hikaru-nii responded.Hiro-san’s eyes shifted to me. “Shouldn’t we get him the futon?”“It’s okay. He’s not the type to give in to such things that easily anyway. You shouldn’t have mentioned that it needed dusting. He doesn’t want to give you additional work.” I said, looked back at my brother who had already settled himself in and then slowly shut the door. It was probably weird for him that Hiro-san and I were so comfortable with sharing a bed like this. It was already standing out to him how Hiro-san and I had gotten so close.I… really wasn’t trying to hide anything though.Hiro
Home Forty
I was in office three days later when I received the call from Kaori-nee’s mother. She was very well aware of my office timings and I had spoken to Aki-chan just the day before and so the timing of this call had worried me. I stepped out onto the smoking balcony immediately to answer the call. “Yes?” “Kakeru-kun, sorry for calling at this time.” She said as soon as I answered. She did not sound upset or flustered, which was a relief. “No. I have a little time so it’s okay. What is it?” “That… Hikaru-kun had called a little while ago.” Hikaru-nii had called?! “And… what did he say?” I felt myself stiffen a bit. “He apologised. Said that we’d meet soon. He didn’t talk to Akiko but he asked about her.” Could that have been a result of our conversation at Hiro-san’s place? If so, it was good news, right? “That’s… good, isn’t it?” I smiled to myself. “He called, so… maybe- no- he’ll definitely meet you soon.”
Home Forty-One
I stayed where I was on the kitchen floor with the half-done food still sitting atop the flameless stove for the next 40 minutes or so, till I heard the doorbell ring. I just couldn’t find the strength or the will to stand up and finish making what I had started or to go check on my brother after what had happened. The only thing that got me onto my feet was the thought that Hiro-san was the one standing outside the door. “I’m home.” Hiro-san beamed as soon as I opened the door, emanating the very happiness that I had wished for. I couldn’t even offer a smile in return though. Instead, I opened the door fully, stepped outside and dived into his arms. “Woah! Kakeru?” He looked down at me in surprise. “Are you okay?” Of course, I wasn’t okay! “Oi, Kakeru. Look here.” He stroked my hair, lowering his voice a little. I raised my eyes to his and brought my hands up to his face. Then, I kissed him- a long surface kiss. I need
Home Forty-Two
Once I was done packing, I left my room with my backpack. The dining table had been cleared and Hikaru-nii’s door had been shut. Hiro-san was sitting on the couch in the living room and reading something on the phone. I just stood there, eyes affixed on my brother’s door. To think that he wouldn’t even come to see me off… “Let’s go.” I said as I walked past Hiro-san and towards the front door. “Aren’t you going to tell Hikaru?” Hiro-san asked, not getting up. I halted in the entryway. He was right. If I had walked away just then, I would have regretted it later. I walked back in and knocked on Hikaru-nii’s door. “Brother, I’m… going.” I could see that the light was on inside from under the door but he gave me no reply. He… should have heard, right? He should have. I couldn’t bring myself to stand there any longer to confirm. “Please take care of yourself. Call me if you need anything.” I made for the front door again. T
Home Forty-Three
Hikaru-nii religiously skipped having dinner at home after that. Whenever one of us called or texted him, he would either not respond or he would say that he was busy. Even Kaori-nee’s mother had not heard from him after that. After Aki-chan heard that her father had called, she had wanted to talk to him too. When she couldn’t, she had asked- ‘Does Otou-san not want to talk to Aki?'It was difficult to tell her that it wasn’t like that. Honestly, it was just difficult to talk to her after that.Four days passed by and it was the weekend even before we realised it. However, Hiro-san had some work to attend to on Saturday afternoon and so he left immediately after lunch. I stayed back at his place for a while but then got too anxious and decided to head home. On informing Hiro-san after that, he had said that he would come to our place and then we could go back to his together.Hikaru-nii had not answered when I had called him so I was taki
Home Forty-Four
Did I have to actually say it out anymore? It seemed to me as though he had already figured it out. I could not bring myself to admit it. Confronted like that, I could not bring myself to deny it either.I had thought that it would be easier to tell my brother about us. I had not told him till then because he was still mourning Kaori-nee and I was trying to be considerate. I had thought that he would understand.“Kakeru, answer me.”What for? And, then what?“Kakeru!”“We’re dating.” I finally said it.“What?” He lowered his voice, his eyes pinning me to every word that I spoke.“I-I said that we’re dating.” I spoke deliberately and clearly. “Hiro-san is my lover.”He stared at me, then nodded. “Lover.”I swallowed nervously. “Yes.”“Since when?”“Almost two months now.”
Home Forty-Five
What seemed like an entire lifetime to me was probably just an hour or so on the clock. That was all the time it took for Hiro-san to get there. I had already seen that shocked look on his face two times before. It was easier for me to offer up a smile the third time. Nevertheless, he was by my side in an instant- his eyebrows scrunched up in a way that told me that I was the only one finding this pattern of meeting strangely amusing. “Kakeru, what are you doing out here?” He crouched before me and took my face in his palms. The worry I saw on his face just then- I wished that I was seeing it on my brother’s. “Meeting out in the hallway like this is really becoming our thing, isn’t it?” I chuckled. “It shouldn’t be though. What happened?” He looked me up and down. “Where are your shoes?” He found them soon after asking, then looked at me seriously. “Hikaru?” I looked towards the door. “I don’t think he’ll want to see you now.” “Huh?” “
Home Forty-Six
On unlocking the door, Hiro-san let me in first. He followed me in after locking the door and proceeded straight to the kitchen. "I'll get you something warm to drink. Go change or freshen up if you want to.” I could at least change into something warmer. “Mm. I’ll… be out on the balcony after that.” “Kakeru, it’s cold out on the balcony too.” He said apprehensively. “I’ll take a blanket with me.” I said and went into the bedroom. He had offered no further protest, so I changed into warmer home-wear, wrapped a blanket around me and headed out onto the balcony. It was a little cold but I felt a lot better after changing and wrapping myself up like that. With my back to the wall, I sat on the floor and brought my knees up to my chest, covering myself up with the blanket and looking out at the night. My eyelids felt heavy. It was probably because of all that crying from earlier. “Why are you sitting on the floor?” Hiro-san asked on findin
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