A Broken Alpha

*⚠️ Warning: this book contains graphic sex scenes between men, abuse, rape, and homophobic slurs. Chapters will NOT be trigger-marked. Read with caution.

                                        ~§~

Many years ago, life was very different for werewolves. Back then, the weak were either discarded, killed, beaten, raped, or used as sex slaves. Throughout the years, life has changed, but not everywhere. Some Alphas still hold tight to the ways of old.

The Midnight Moon pack, located in Watton of Michigan's Upper Peninsula, is one of the largest packs in North America, with over 1500 pack members, and they no longer cling to the old ways.

Alpha Thaddeus has continued his father's legacy, trying to rid the world of Alphas who are still stuck in the old mindset and not only still keep slaves but also rape, beat, and starve their Omegas.  

                                          ~§~

Thaddeus’s POV

I sigh as I close the laptop. I lean back, stretching before running my hands down my face and then adjusting my shirt, pulling it down where it rode up. I pushed back from my desk and frowned when I saw that one of my legs had slipped from the footrest. Being unable to feel my legs, I was unaware that it had slipped off until now. It was a harsh reminder that I couldn't feel my legs or my feet.

I reached down and grabbed my right leg, placing it back onto the footrest before strapping it down so it wouldn't slip off again. The last thing I need is for the damn thing to slip off while wheeling myself forward and get stuck in the wheel, like it has before. Getting yanked out of the chair from my foot getting stuck in the wheel was quite an embarrassing moment. Especially since it happened in front of a large group of pack members, it was times like that that made me feel weak and inadequate to be the alpha of my pack.

I look out the open window at the sound of kids shrieking. My heart calms when I see they're just playing. I watch them chase each other, laughing as they fall into a pile.

Images of my own childhood flash in my head, and I remember the time when my legs worked.

I look down at my useless legs that are strapped to the wheelchair and sigh before wheeling myself toward the door.

I glance at the clock on the wall before I pull the door shut and groan when I realize how little time I have. I should have already been in the car, but I just couldn't pull myself away from work.

Instead of heading downstairs, I head up to my room. I want to see Noah one more time before I leave and make sure he has everything he needs.

I barely make it to the elevator before I feel my Beta push against the link, and groan before opening it.

“Do you plan on making me wait out here all day? You know we were supposed to leave 20 minutes ago. Come on, big guy, we have a plane to catch,” Xander said through the link.

“I'll be there in a minute. I just want to say goodbye to Noah,” I replied before closing the link.

                                         ~§~

I hate leaving, and I hate these stupid Alpha conventions even more. At least last year, it was in Colorado. Unfortunately, this year it's in Florida. Don't get me wrong, Florida is nice if you're human, but my wolf and I hate the heat. That place is too damn hot and too damn humid for us. I prefer the cooler temperatures here in Michigan's Upper Peninsula…

After securing my wheelchair in the back, Xander flashes his signature goofy grin at me and puts the car in drive.

I shake my head and pray he doesn't talk my head off like he usually does. I'd hate to throw him out of the car and have to find a new beta.

I feel the moment we pass that invisible line that marks the boundaries of our territory. I look into the side mirror and watch as we leave my territory.

It's a strange feeling when you leave your territory. It’s an emptiness that causes your chest to ache, and is felt as soon as you pass that invisible line.

Everything smells different and feels foreign outside of your territory. It feels wrong, and you feel out of place. You feel home calling to you, tugging at that invisible tether to your territory, begging you to return. I ignore the call of home and look at Xander, who's staring straight ahead. I find myself wondering how long this peace and quiet will last, and I'm forced to listen to his dad jokes until I threaten to throw him from the car.

Unfortunately, it didn't take long. Only five minutes after leaving our territory, Xander began talking. As soon as he opened his mouth, he never stopped. The words flowed like vomit. I growl, contemplating pushing the idiot out of the damn car… I should have brought duct tape!

I've known Xander my whole life. We grew up together with Marcus, my

Commander. Xander's father was my father's beta. When I took my father's place, his father stepped down so Xander could be my beta.

Xander has a goofy personality and is the life of the party. He loves his dad jokes, and once he starts talking, he never stops.

Marcus is the polar opposite of Xander. He's more serious and level-headed. The three of us have always been inseparable — they're the brothers I never had, and this one annoys me just like one. I thought, glaring a hole in the side of Xander's head as he talked about a rash on his ass.

                                          ~§~

I look around the room full of Alphas. I'm not sure whether to be thankful it's just dinner today or disappointed. At least during the lectures, I have a reason not to socialize.

I suppose not all the Alphas here are bad, but certain ones are cocky assholes, thinking they're better than everyone and are quick to point that out, kind of like the incident that happened 10 minutes ago. Sir fuck around and find out, found out he wasn't all that when he was dragged out of the dining room unconscious.

“Man, why can't there be more women at these things?” Xander complained, his eyes scanning the room with a pout.

“So you can't infect their women with that infected appendage between your legs!” I casually said before taking another bite.

Xander took a sharp breath and placed his hand over his chest, feigning hurt.

“I'll have you know, Xander Jr. has a clean bill of health!” Xander flashed his pearly whites, and I groaned as I shook my head.

“I didn't need to know you named your dick!” I scolded, trying not to vomit.

Xander laughed, and I ignored him, downing a good portion of my bourbon.

“At least some of the staff here are females,” Xander said as a female waitress approached with a pitcher of water.

The Beta flashed her a smile and winked, causing the waitress to blush. I shook my head and looked away, thankful I wasn't sharing a room with him. The last thing I want is to be woken up by this idiot sneaking a girl into his bed.

“Xander, I swear that thing is going to fall off one of these days!” I said, and Xander sucked in a sharp breath as he looked at me. He quickly looked down and frantically felt between his legs.

“Nope! Jr’s still there!” The idiot said, and I couldn't help but laugh.

A smile beamed on Xander's face, and his chest puffed out, proud that he made me laugh.

                                           ~§~

After we finished eating I sat back with a fresh glass of bourbon. As I brought the glass to my mouth, I felt my wolf stir and begin pacing my head. He went from 0 to 100 so fast it was alarming. I felt my wolf pressing against the walls that kept him in, desperately trying to get out and shift.

I scanned the room, but saw nothing out of place. I looked for Xander and found him on the side of the bar, flirting with the waitress.

The pressure in my head was becoming intense, and my head began to throb. I massaged my temples. ‘Knock it off, Zeus!’ I scolded the wolf in my head, but he ignored me.

I scanned the room one more time, and as my head turned toward the door, a scent invaded my nose, and had me freezing. My heart thrummed in my chest, pounding against my ribs so loud I feared everyone might hear it.

I couldn't move, nor could I breathe. I stared at the door as an amazing scent I've been waiting to smell invaded my nose and had my wolf purring in my head.

I thought they'd never step through the door, and when he did, my heart stuttered, and my wolf howled in my head in delight.

He was handsome, with beautiful, shiny dark hair, and dark eyes that frantically scanned the crowd, looking for me.

Excitement filled me; I could hardly wait for his eyes to find me. My lips curled up in anticipation, but I was shocked at the expression that washed over his face the moment his eyes found me.

Shock filled his face, and then was quickly replaced with anger. The longer we held eye contact, the deeper that anger became. He finally broke eye contact and let his eyes move down my body.

He stared at my legs, and wheelchair with disgust, and my stomach dropped. His jaw clenched and his muscles twitched — hands curling into fists so tight that I saw a drop of blood hit the floor.

This wasn't the reaction I was expecting from my mate when I found them. Maybe a little hesitation, maybe a little disappointment to see the wheelchair, but not this… not the rage building in his eyes.

I had to go to him. I had to talk to him and touch him, hoping to calm him and discuss this. But as I backed away from the table and turned the wheelchair toward him, he suddenly stormed away. My eyes followed him as he stormed through the large dining room and exited out the back door.

My chest felt tight and ached. It was difficult to breathe. I swallowed thickly before wheeling the chair forward and quickly making my way outside.

It wasn't hard to find him. He was only a few feet away from the back door, pacing back and forth while mumbling angrily to himself.

I slowly moved forward, but as I got close, he suddenly stopped and faced me. I know he was glaring at me, but I couldn't stop myself from taking in his features now that I was so close. I desperately wanted to touch him, hold him, ask him to please try to look past the wheelchair, but I could do none of that; touching him was obviously the last thing he wanted.

I searched his face, trying to see if there was something more there that was fueling his rage, but my gut already knew.

“What's wro-” The second word never fully left my mouth. His sharp words quickly cut me off, and had my stomach turning.

“This must be some sick fucking joke!... I mean, you're a man! I'm not fucking gay! I like women, not men!” He spat.

“I like pussy, not dick!” He paused, his hateful eyes moving over my body until they landed on the wheelchair, and he scuffed.

“What the fuck is this? Are you kidding me? Look at you, you can't even fucking walk! You're in a fucking wheelchair! Come on, how fucking pathetic is that?” His face contorted in disgust, and my heart broke.

“What the fuck did I do to deserve a pathetic mate who can't even walk?! This is bullshit! If she was going to give me a fucking fagot as a mate, at least she could have given me one who wasn't so useless, and whose legs fucking worked! How the fuck can you even be an Alpha when your dumbass is stuck in a damn wheelchair?”

It felt like I was punched in the gut, and all the air escaped my lungs. No one has ever spoken to me so cruelly. I'd expect it from my enemy, but not the person the goddess created for me.

It felt like a sick dream that I couldn't wake up from. It felt like a knife piercing my heart with each heartless word that fell from his lips.

If it had been anyone else, they would have been lying on the ground unconscious by now… but it wasn't anyone else.

His voice grew louder, and I was pulled from my thoughts; his words became clearer again.

“I mean, what the fuck! This is bullshit!” He yelled before pacing a few steps away and spinning around.

“Man, the goddess must really hate me. First, I don't get the Alpha position. Nooo! That is going to my pathetic brother, and now I'm stuck being his fucking Beta! And as if that wasn't bad enough, I'm not only mated to a fagot, but one in a fucking wheelchair!... Just fucking great!” He yelled, throwing his arms out to the side before letting them drop and slap against his sides.

I felt disconnected from my body as he continued his rant. It felt like I was watching the scene from above.

I blinked when I felt his finger poking my chest, and realized he was leaning over me, yelling.

I was caught off guard, my head snapped to the right, and a sharp pain radiated on the side of my face.

I slowly reached up and touched my face in shock. Laughter rang out, and I slowly turned to look at him. He laughed as he pointed at my surprised face, and then it suddenly came to an abrupt stop. His expression darkened, and I feared where this would go. If he wanted to fight me, it would be an easy kill for him, because I'd never lift a finger to my mate.

“I’ll never stay mated to a crippled fagot!” he yelled before his fist flew forward.

As his fist flew forward, it felt like time slowed. I watched it inched toward my face. My eyes closed, and I exhaled, accepting what was to come. His fist connected with my face, and my head snapped to the side. My lip immediately split, and the coppery taste of blood filled my mouth.

He threw another punch, and this one hit my stomach. The blows kept coming; his aim was random, from my face to my torso.

I grunt when a blow connects with my ribs. I felt the bruises and welts forming fast, but I didn't block a single swing, nor did I fight back.

I feel the pain from each hit, but it's nothing in comparison to the pain in my chest from my heart breaking.

I begin to realize that not fighting back is fueling his rage.

“Fight back!... Fight back, you fucking fagot!” He yelled. His chest heaved as the anger rolled off him.

I wipe the blood from my mouth with the back of my hand and look at him.

“No… I won't hit you. You're my mate!”

I saw something in him snap. It was like I threw gasoline on a fire.

His hands curled into a fist, and he screamed as he kicked his foot out with everything he had. His foot landed square in my chest and sent me backwards, tipping the wheelchair back as I flew out of it. The blow knocked the air from my lungs. I wheezed as I held my chest, trying to fill it with desperately needed air. I coughed as I filled my lungs, and could sense him approaching.

He stood over me, his chest heaving as he glared at me.

I should have seen it coming, but for some reason, I didn't.

“What's your name?” He asked coldly.

My stomach dropped, and I instantly knew why he was asking that question. It hurt more than his words or his physical assault. I felt my world crumbling around me, and my wolf whimpered as he lowered his head in defeat.

I couldn't say anything or move for a moment. All I could do was lie there and look at him. I had hoped to see something in his eyes… something besides anger, rage, and disgust, but I saw nothing else.

My last bit of hope went out the window, and it was crushing. I turned my head and spat out the blood that had filled my mouth, and turned to look at him again.

“Thaddeus Anderson, Alpha of the Midnight Moon Pack.” My throat felt dry when I spoke. The words felt like razor blades as I forced myself to speak them.

I saw his mouth move, and I heard his voice, but it was distant and muffled as he recited words I never thought I'd hear.

I know he said his name, and I know he said what pack he belongs to, but I didn't hear any of it… Maybe it's for the best.

“I, Jackson Morris, future Beta of the Blood Moon pack, reject you, Alpha Thaddeus Anderson, of the Midnight Moon Pack as my mate.”

I snapped out of it when an intense pain bloomed in my chest and shot through my body. I gripped my chest, clenched my jaw, and squeezed my eyes closed at the intense pain in my chest.

It felt like my heart was ripped from my chest. White hot pain radiated through my body; it was hard to breathe. I knew if I had been standing, it would have brought me to my knees.

I grunt and grit my teeth through the pain. My lungs burned; they felt like they were on fire.

I felt the tethers unraveling as a piece of his soul was being separated and removed from mine.

It took me a few moments to catch my breath, and when I did, I looked up at my mate.

I expected to see regret, remorse, some form of sadness, but I saw nothing but the same coldness that was there when he spoke those words.

“I, Thaddeus Anderson, Alpha of the Midnight Moon Pack, accept your rejection.”

The way his eyes widened made it look like he wasn't expecting me to accept his rejection. I began to regret seeing them, but it was too late.

When the last word left my mouth, those strands that unraveled from my heart broke in an instant as the mate bond was severed forever.

His eyes slammed closed, and he gripped his chest, falling to his knees. He cried out as he fell forward, reaching out with his right hand to catch himself while his left clutched his chest.

Sweat beads formed on his forehead as he struggled to breathe. The painful cry that fell from his lips caused my heart to clench. I fought the urge to comfort him, even though he's the one who did this.

It took him a little longer to recover enough to catch his breath. With weak legs, he stood and shook his head as if he was shaking something off. Then, just like that, he walked away…

That was the last time I saw him. I never saw him at the convention again, but then again, I left early. The pain I experienced each night as my body went through withdrawals from the loss of the bond became too much. With each passing day, I grew weaker. I decided it was best to go home and recover in peace.