“I am afraid it was all my fault! For I wasn’t the best husband nor father!” he looks at his hands, avoiding my eyes, I sense his nervousness and embarrassment, his voice is laced with shame when he confessed this, and I am…
I don’t know how to exactly describe my feelings, it is as if I am swinging from overwhelmed to numb, and at one point, I feel that my heart is overwhelmed to the brim that it can no longer feel!
I am surprised by what he said, and the fact that he admitted it on his own is quite applaudable, but in the same time, I am scared of what I am going to hear next! I can’t believe this is it! So simply!
There was tightness, suffocation, chaos, heaviness, but slowly, all of that was lifted, and there was lightness and warmth taking over my body, and next thing I know, I woke up!When did I fall asleep?The room is dim, not dark though, and these faint voices coming from behind the closed door of my bedroom, I can’t quite understand them, I look around me for my phone, I need to know what time is it, but I can’t find it anywhere near me!Right, it is still inside my purse on the sofa where I have left it before running away like a coward, unable to take my shame!I won
I take a deep breath and open the texts, I really doubt I am going to find any hearts and flowers in them, and I am a little scared to face his rage!Why? No fucking idea! And it makes me feel ridiculous how scared I am from few written words, manning up, I start reading the texts. I see the last one was sent only few minutes ago, and it says:“I know you were awake!” Okay! This is awkward! And I guess my acting skills are not as good as I hoped they would be. With less courage, I scroll to the first ones and start reading in order:The first one is him apologizing f
“You look pale, Baby!” Maisie asks while we walk out of the bank, somehow for I don’t know how my legs are still functioning, she keeps telling me to take break or take a seat but I ignore her and keep walking back to the car.“Are you feeling well?” No! I feel like I have just been slapped across the face, hard, with a cricket bat!And for a very obvious reason!I have hoped that I had some savings hidden somewhere, something that might help me sustenance myself during these days instead of being a complete liability on Maisie and
“He didn’t pick up?” I shake my head, disappointment written all over my face, he never picks up when I need him, and it is becoming a little frustrating!“Now what?” she asks with an annoyed sigh, her disappointment, unlike mine, isn’t expressed through a sad expression but rather an irritated one.I don’t know what to do, and I feel this weight at the pit of my belly, a wariness and fear from what was coming, and I am really considering Maisie’s earlier offer of going back home and delay the visit, the surprising news from the bank were something! But the reporters and my case going public is just too much, being surrounded by them that way, with all the flashing lights and mixed voices almost mad
I stand and watch as Maisie leaves, waving at her with a small smile, trying to hide my guilt for ditching my best friend, once her car is out of my sight, I turn to the man standing in front of me.I have to admit, I am feeling anxious and wary of our proximity, I can hear my own heart beats, but surprisingly, I don’t feel scared at all for staying alone with Nate, I do have plenty of questions for him though, I just hope this bubbly feeling I feel inside me won’t stop me from doing so.“You look so beautiful!” he says with an approving smile as he runs his eyes over my body, not in a creepy lustful way, just as if evaluating my general appearance, I feel heat creeping up my face while I murmur a small thank you.
‘I did NOT see that one coming’ I hear my little devil whispering for me, with equal shock, confusion, and even disgust as the one I am feeling right now!what the fuck?!What in the name of sweet baby Jesus did I just hear?!And what is this even means?! I hear my little devil scoff and I must give it to him. Master and pet, what else can it mean?!I must have heard wrong! I tell myself as I look at him with confused eyes, demanding an explanation.No, not an explanation, more like, demanding a disclaimer!His eyes though, are focused on me with an enigmatic expression that I can’t decipher, I know he is gauging mine, studying my reaction, I try to slip my hand away from his, in the most discreet manner but he wouldn’t let go, if nothing else he tightens his grip on my hand, not painfully, but enough to ensure that I won’t be able to take my own hand back without tugging it with more force.And the bloody handsome bastard must have known that I won’t be doing that!What I do though, i
“And you kissed me?!” my question sounds like a statement, and he smiles at me, something flashing in the back of his eyes, a memory that made his green orbs radiate with happiness and satisfaction.“And I felt like the king of the world while doing so!” he says while placing his hand on the side of my jaw, it is warm and I can’t help but lean into the inviting touch, his thumb finds its way to my lips, he first brushes the corner, so slowly and torturously, the small contact makes my whole body reacts strangely, for I feel so relaxed as if my body is immersed in warmth and softness, his thumb moves but the feeling of his touch lingers behind for several seconds, giving me all kinds of mixed signs, a rich sensation that is meant to last even after it ends.he trails his thumb over my lower lip, very slowly and torturously, and when it brushes over the line where lips meet, I part them, opening my mouth to him, as if under a lust spell, once I feel his thumb pressed on the bords of my l
A price?A...I can’t even say the word again, my mind is suddenly blank, unable to think, to process, to understand!What does he mean by that?!!“I understand your reaction.” He says with sympathetic eyes, his lips pulled into the kindest smile, and something insides me tells me he truly understands everything I am feeling without me saying it.This man! he is really something else, the things he says feel like the harshest slaps but his gestures, his touches, and the look in his beautiful eyes feel like the soothing caresses on the sore skin.“I…” my words are stuck in my throat, I take a deep breath and close my eyes, I feel anxiety building up, ready to take over, so I try to calm myself down.It is all in the past, Natalia, you are okay! You are safe now!Don’t lose it at the man’s house!“I am not that kind of woman!” my voice is small, I know, but at least I manage to get the words out, to me that is an accomplishment, especially with the way I am feeling right now!“I know, Sw