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Red Flag
‘You don’t really believe that, do you?’ I hear my little devil whisper and I wish that for once I can slap the little fucker!
I am already in a huge dilemma and I don’t need him making things even harder!
However, I can’t deny the fact that I am having the same doubts, I mean, Nate’s story just seems a little, odd!
“I know it is hard to believe, Natalia, but I swear it is the truth!” he says this with his mouth but not with his eyes, and therefore, my heart can’t believe him, not fully at least, I feel that there are some missing parts in his story, ones that he is deliberately ignoring and leaving behind.
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Come on, Natalia, one step at the time, and then one bite at the time, and you would be done with it! I tell myself reassuringly while looking at the room for one last time.That spooky uncomfortable feeling is no longer there, I feel pretty normal about the room itself, the previous discomfort is gone but a new one settles in, the fact that I didn’t remember anything!I was hoping that I would be having one of those flashbacks but nothing happened, all I got from this visit was Nate’s not so convincing side of the story, a heartbreak that I am going to cry out of my system later, and a lot of hugs and caresses which I know I would blame myself for once my head hits the pillow.
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“I did not say anything, plus nothing really happened!” I offer him a reassuring smile, as we descend the stairs, unable to get rid of the feeling I had in that room while watching him and his father!A part of me is envious, the other part is warmed, I feel as if the three of us share a very unique relationship, like a family, and that side I saw of him in front of his father, the genuinely good and pure man who values his family and loved ones, the vulnerable son who is afraid of losing his father just makes me question everything I have learned about him in his bedroom.Why can’t I make up my mind about this man! Why can’t he be just bad or just good, why does he have to be both, so soft yet so edgy!
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