Chapter 4

**004**  

**Zy's POV**

I couldn’t carry that key another second.

It was sitting on my desk mocking me. So after class I snatched it, told Molly I was going for a drive, and left before she could stop me.

His car wasn’t outside when I got there. I went straight up the stairs, ready to shove the key under the door and disappear. I almost did it too… until I heard him talking inside with somebody.

I froze.

“She’s not gonna let this go easy,” Ronan was saying.

The other voice answered, but I didn’t catch it. I was already bending down, sliding the key under the door hard enough to make noise on purpose.

The door flew open.

Ronan stood there in a black t-shirt, eyes wide like he couldn’t believe I was real.

“Zy…”

I straightened up slowly. “Here’s your key. We’re done.”

He stepped into the hallway, pulling the door almost closed behind him. His voice came out soft, careful, the same tone he used whenever he knew he had fucked up bad.

“I never wanted you to see that. I’ve been sick about it since you walked out. I swear.”

I stared at him. Part of me wanted to believe the regret on his face. The bigger part of me was already boiling.

“You were sick?” I said. “Funny. You didn’t look sick when you were on your knees.”

His face tightened but he still kept the soft voice. “I know I hurt you. I know I—”

“You didn’t just hurt me.” My voice started rising and I couldn’t stop it. “You made me look like a whole fool. I was planning a future with you. I was turning down other people for you. I was defending you every time Ivy said something felt off. And the entire time you were living a completely different life right under my nose.”

“Zy, lower your voice—”

“No!” I yelled it. “You don’t get to tell me to lower my voice. You don’t get to stand there looking sorry after you let me find out the worst way possible. Do you know what that does to a person? Do you know how small I felt standing in that doorway?”

His eyes flashed. The soft act started cracking.

“I’m trying to apologize—”

“I don’t want your apology!” I stepped closer, finger pointed right at his chest. “I want you to feel even a little of what I felt. You took eight months of my life and treated it like nothing. You let me love you while you were out here doing whatever the fuck you wanted. And now you want to look sad and call it regret? Fuck your regret.”

That did it.

Ronan’s face changed completely. The sorry look vanished. His jaw clenched and his voice came out low and nasty.

“You know what? You’re really showing your ass right now.”

I blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” He took a step forward, eyes cold. “You come to my door, screaming in my hallway like a fucking crazy person, throwing your little pain around like you’re the only one who ever got hurt. I’m sorry you found out the way you did, but I’m not about to stand here and let you keep disrespecting me in my own building.”

“Disrespecting you?” I laughed in pure disbelief. “You can’t be serious.”

“I’m dead serious.” His voice got even colder. “You need to leave. Now. Before you make this uglier than it already is.”

I looked at him — really looked — and for the first time I didn’t see the boy I used to love. I just saw someone who was done pretending.

“You’re disgusting,” I said quietly.

“And you’re loud,” he shot back. “Get the fuck out of my building, Zy.”

I turned and walked down the stairs before I slapped him. My eyes were burning but I refused to cry in front of him. I shoved the exit door open and stepped outside, breathing hard, hands shaking with pure rage.

I didn’t go to my car.

I couldn’t go home like this. Molly would see my face and know everything. So I just walked, fast and aimless, around the side of the building until I found the same dark stretch of wall I had run from days ago.

I pressed my back against the cold brick and finally let the tears fall, angry and quiet. His new words kept looping in my head.

Showing your ass.  

Crazy person.  

Get the fuck out.

I hated him so much it made my stomach hurt.

That was when I heard the sounds again.

Faint, but clear enough.

Moans.

Coming from somewhere inside.

I lifted my head, wiped my face with my sleeve, and stared at the dark windows.

Same place.

Same noise.

My heart started pounding for a different reason.

I pushed off the wall and slowly walked back toward the entrance, tears still wet on my cheeks, anger still sitting hot in my chest.

I wasn’t ready to go home.

Not yet.