Chapter 12: The strange lady

I found myself in a dark place like the dream I had last time and this time I was all alone, no voices of people around me, the darkness was so quiet, not terrifying like the first one and I looked around and there was the light that I saw in my first dream. This one felt too real, like I departed my own body and went somewhere where humans don’t know, something like astral projections. Deep down inside of me there was so much peace and no fights at all.

I walked towards the light; as I was walking, pictures of everyone I knew appeared and they surrounded me like people were at the place that I was in and they were looking for some help. The silence still continued but the pictures followed me as I was still walking towards the light and at a certain point, the pictures disappeared. I got to the light; the strange lady appeared to be seating in that light like she was in the first dream that I had. I realized that it was her and I went closer, this time I was less terrified and it seemed like I wasn’t in a fight like the first dream that I had but the strange lady seemed like she was expecting me.

“Hello” I went even closer to her.

“Take a seat” the strange lady said with her weird creepy voice.

Immediately after she said that, the darkness disappeared and then we were in a room which looked like a kitchen of some sort, it looked like it was owned by an old woman. I tried looking for the strange lady’s face but her face was always covered by a cloth the only thig which appeared were the eyes.

“Where am I?” I searched the place with my eyes.

“You are in a place where only the privileged go” she replied with her creepy voice.

“I’ve seen you somewhere, but in different occasions” I said as I got up from the chair.

The strange lady never dared to reveal her face through out the conversation, this felt so real like I left my body and I was somewhere else.

“I have been sent on a quest, a quest to help you remember who you are and the quest to give you your peace back” she said.

“What? I mean I don’t even know myself” I went back to the chair I was sitting on.

“Since you were a young child, you never had a chance to be happy with those around you. You grew up alone, your parents sent you away and at some point, you never knew who your mom was” she said.

“How do you know all that?” I gave her my undivided attention.

“At some point you were always being discredited for being who you are” she ignored my question “Life was unfair to you, that’s how you felt. When you were old enough to understand your situation, you isolated yourself from family not because you hated them but because they’ve always misjudged you” she added.

“You are angry and full of resentment, because those who were responsible for building your confidence actually broke it” she said.

I felt anger coming over me like a stray jacket that psychiatric hospitals put on people who are mentally unstable and uncontrollable. I couldn’t move or get over it, this time this anger and resentment didn’t come from inside me but it was just holding me tight and I couldn’t move and inch on my body.

“Yeah, you can feel it don’t you?” she said as I tried to free myself “That is what anger does, right now you don’t know yourself. It’s like your identity has been erased and everything you stand for has been deleted” she continued.

The anger and resentment let me go and we appeared in this white room with nothing it and everything was so white. The was nothing there, not even a door, it was just me and the strange lady standing at the center of the room, the strange lady was holding a bucket of red paint, she put the paint down.

“When you are a baby, your mind is like this. It is like a coloring book waiting for a child to come and start using crayons to give it color” she continued to explain as I kept quiet.

“The people around you are the children holding crayons. Your parents gave you anger and resentment” she said.

A picture of a man and a woman appeared and I couldn’t recognize them.

“Your brother came and gave you betrayal” she continued to say.

And another picture appeared but this time it was a picture guy almost the same age as me.

The strange lady continued doing what she was doing like she was prophesying my life or something. And so many pictures appeared, pictures of people I didn’t recognize or know.

“And then you meet those who lie to you” as she said that Cindy’s picture appeared. I asked myself how Cindy was lying to me.

“And those who love you but have too many secrets that they cannot have peace with you because some people are holding them against their will” Charlotte’s picture appeared next to Cindy’s picture.

I stood beside her thinking to myself ‘why me?’

“If not you, then who?” the strange lady replied my thoughts.

“How did you…” I said but she interrupted me with a wave of her hand.

“You wouldn’t be the person if your parents didn’t abandon you, if your family took you serious and everything you did was valued as much as you wanted it to be, you’d be arrogant right now. If so, many girls didn’t reject you, you wouldn’t know the type of a girl that deserves you” she said.

“But I don’t know myself” I replied.

“You do, you just have to fight to remember” she said.

I stared at the pictures that were appearing as she spoke.

“Why are you showing me all this?” I asked.

“Everyone that you see here, is the reason you are who you are. These are the people who held the crayons and filled your mind with beautiful memories, rage and anger, rejection and low self-esteem” she explained.

I remained silent trying to make sense of everything she was saying. I never understood what was going on because I was with the strange lady in that strange place and I was in flesh but at the same time it felt like I left my own body somewhere.

“I know you’re confused” she waved her hand and we were back at the kitchen “I know that you’re asking yourself, who you are and where you are right now” she said.

I was still in silence not knowing what to think.

“I also know that you don’t know what to think, but this is you getting a second chance and I am going to ask you to use it wisely” she continued to say.

“Just tell me what I’m supposed to do” I pleaded with her.

“Your answers are close to home; your solution is close to home and your identity is close to home. You just have to look close” she said.

“But I…” I couldn’t finish my sentence because the strange lady had already disappeared.

Immediately after the strange lady disappeared, the kitchen also disappeared then I was left in the dark once again. As I was looking around trying to figure out what was happening, something like violent wind took me then I felt like I was falling from the sky and it felt I was going a long way down and I was still in the darkness. The I came to a point where I stopped falling, became calm and then began to hear machines beeping and people talking.