LOGINMy dad, Angus Helman, always said I did not seem like a man. I would start panting after running two steps, and whenever I was in physical education class, I always sat crouched in a corner. I could not even open a water bottle. My mom, Diana Helman, snuck me to see a doctor. We were told that I had a heart condition and could not do strenuous exercise. At home, Mom showed Dad the diagnosis. He did not even finish reading it before he threw it on the table. “What nonsense is this?! No one in the past three generations of the Helman family has had any heart issues! Don’t trick me with this! He’s just lazy! You spoiled him rotten! He’s lazing about at home all day. Who wouldn’t get sick from that?” I got into the best university in the city. Dad became a teacher and was in charge of the school’s orientation program. He said that this was fate and that he could “remake” me. He would wake me up at 5 a.m. and make me run. He would deny me food if I could not finish my push-ups. If I could not run, he would hit me with his belt. I did not want to get hit or disappoint him. I started keeping my heart medication in my pocket and popped in a couple of pills when my chest felt tight. On the last day of orientation, Dad made me do push-ups in front of the entire school. I gritted my teeth and prayed to be able to make it through, just this once. At the fiftieth push-up, my vision went dark. I fell on the ground, and Dad kicked me. “Get up! Don’t keep huffing and puffing like a girl! Stay there if you dare!” My face was plastered on the hot running track as my vision went dark. I really could not get back up at all.
View MoreThe next day, Dad was back at the field. It was 5 a.m., and he was the only person on the field. He started to run again.When his chest hurt, he took the medication. Then, he kept running. He went back on the third day. He went back again on the fourth and fifth days. He kept going every day and did the same thing. He really lived his life as I had back then. He ran every day until his heart could not take it anymore. Then, he took some medication and kept going. He knew that his heart did not have any issues. The pain was only because of the heat and stress. He had never tormented it that way before. He did not care. He only knew that this was what I had endured, and he wanted to endure the same. A month later, he had lost twenty pounds.Two months later, he started coughing up blood. Mom had only been to see him once. She stood by the field and watched from afar as he clutched his chest and ran on the track. She did not approach him. After watching for a
At some point, Mom walked over to stand behind Dad. “I warned you,” she said. Her voice was soft, but her words cut like knives. “I told you Felix had a heart condition when we got the first diagnosis. I told you he couldn’t do strenuous exercise. What did you say in response? You said no one in the past three generations of the Helman family had any heart issues. You told me not to trick you with that stuff.”Dad did not say anything. “Before orientation started, I asked if he could sit it out or do something else. What did you say? ‘What kind of man skips out on an event like an orientation? It’s your fault he’s so dead now.’”Dad suddenly stood up. He walked to my desk and flipped open a notebook. Inside was a piece of paper with lines of scrawled handwriting. It was not a journal of complaints. It was a log.[Ran three miles. Chest started hurting about halfway through. Took five pills and made it through.][Vision started going spotty at eighty-first push-up. Took five
“Jameson?” Dad seemed to force the word out. “What are you doing standing there?”Jameson did not move. He gripped the doorframe hard. His knuckles turned white.“Mr. Helman… I didn’t…” His voice trembled. “I didn’t switch out his medication.”“Then, where did this bottle come from?” Mom glared at him.“I don’t know… I really don’t know…” Jameson’s voice became softer and softer. “Besides… he didn’t even take his medication.”Dad was stunned by this. “What?”“When he was doing push-ups… I saw him reach for his pocket, but he collapsed before he could get the bottle out…” Jameson started to weep. “I saw it… His hand didn’t make it to his pocket before he collapsed. He didn’t take that… whatever that is… He didn’t manage to take it before…”The emergency room went quiet again.Everyone looked at that little medication bottle that had been in my pocket. That was right. Jameson had not seen me take the medication. I had not had the time to get it. It did not matter if it had
The emergency room of First Memorial Hospital was a bustle of activity. The smell of antiseptic that pervaded the hallways was so strong that it made people want to puke. I was inside the emergency room receiving emergency treatment.Dad sat on a chair. His back was stiff and straight. His hands were shaking. He gripped the reports from the orientation so hard that his knuckles were white. Mr. Mantooth stood in a corner, gray-faced and silent. Dr. Lansing leaned against the wall. His face was pale. Mom sat on the opposite row of chairs. Her gaze was pinned on the emergency room doors. Her knees were grazed. The blood on her knees was mixed with dirt, but she did not seem to notice it at all. “You’d better be ready for some bad news, Mr. Helman,” Dr. Lansing said finally. “We brought him here too late. His pupils were totally dilated, and his body temperature was so high. There was no response even after doing CPR for half an hour. He’s already—”“Shut up.” Dad’s voice












Welcome to GoodNovel world of fiction. If you like this novel, or you are an idealist hoping to explore a perfect world, and also want to become an original novel author online to increase income, you can join our family to read or create various types of books, such as romance novel, epic reading, werewolf novel, fantasy novel, history novel and so on. If you are a reader, high quality novels can be selected here. If you are an author, you can obtain more inspiration from others to create more brilliant works, what's more, your works on our platform will catch more attention and win more admiration from readers.