Chapter 43 : She wants to live

Emily

When I opened my eyes I didn't expect to be in that place. I roll my eyes nervously around the room. For as long as I can remember I was near the Cascade last night. It was raining heavily. My heart was heavy. I don't remember how long I cried but gradually my brain started functioning. I recall every single thing from last night.

I remember how all those disgust-filled eyes landed on me, how my entire existence felt nasty and sinful, and how I have literally spent thirty days with a married man.

I cover my face with both hands and breathe heavily. I can't take this anymore. I just can't.

Now, it doesn't hurt because the man I love the most is not mine. It hurts because the only thing I had as my own isn't there anymore. My dignity is tainted. And it hurts more than anything.

Whatever happened to me throughout my life, I never felt like this before. But today, I have stooped so low in my own eyes. Gathering the sheets tightly against my chest, I close my eyes and strive to pr