Chapter 4

“The last dose will take the remaining memories of the people you’ve named,” Maeve said. “Including that first night they brought you home.”

“Will I remember seeing them this week?”

“Not the encounters involving them. Those are part of what you’ve chosen to let go. But you’ll remember coming here, accepting your job, and arranging to leave.”

“And you?”

“You’ll remember me.” She rested her hand beside my folder. “The records will tell you who those people are and what happened. You can learn those facts again. They won’t bring back the feeling of loving them.”

I checked the backups on my phone: the original bill, the signed agreement, the reasons for each transaction, my application to leave the pack. I’d also recorded one last video. In it, I hadn’t cried. I’d made sure of three things: the money wasn’t a debt I actually owed; they knew what the potions would take; and I’d chosen to go to Riverbend.

Maeve handed me her tablet so we could confirm the arrangements for the celebration. “You still want to go?”

“I’m returning their things and getting written confirmation that they’ve received every payment. I want a copy of it in my records.”

I checked the departure time on my phone.

“They can refuse to sign. I’ll still leave. I’m not missing that bus to argue with them again.”

I showed her the email confirming an eight-thirty meeting. Dad had agreed, with the additional demand that I get onstage and apologize to Ivy. I’d refused that part and forwarded the whole exchange to the pack office.

“Don’t let me stay too long,” I said. “I have to catch the nine o’clock bus.”

Maeve promised she wouldn’t. I picked up the bottle and closed my eyes, remembering the hands that had pulled off my wet boots. I’d believed that if I was good enough, they’d never stop holding me.

For $230,000, I drank the last dose.

When I opened my eyes again, Maeve was carefully capping the empty bottle. I remembered sitting across from her, checking my documents, and asking her to come with me tonight.

But I couldn’t remember the night the Reeds had brought me home. I knew I’d just sold it. I couldn’t picture anyone carrying me inside.

“Take your time,” Maeve said.

I opened the video I’d recorded before the appointment and watched it twice.

The girl on the screen looked exactly like me. Near the end, her fingers were clenched around the chair’s arm, but her voice stayed steady. “Nora, your ride’s booked. Don’t stay just because they’re finally asking you to come home. You’ve already accepted the job. Your room’s waiting for you. Check the documents if you need to know why you made this decision.”

I closed the video and checked the start date for my new job. “When do we leave?”

At eight-twenty, the last payment reached the designated account. On the way to the Blackpine pack hall, my phone lit up with a family group chat.

[Martha: The test is over, sweetheart. You did so well. We’re all waiting for you to come home.]

[Luke: Quit hiding. I’ve saved you something to eat.]

[Evan: I’m willing to overlook you calling off the engagement. Apologize to Ivy tonight, and we can discuss the ceremony.]

Grant sent the last one. [Think about what you’re going to say before you walk through that door.]

I checked the names against my paperwork, confirmed they were connected to the person who’d received the payments, and silenced my phone.

When we reached the hall, I could hear people laughing inside. “Nine hundred and forty thousand? She got that out of a few little memories?” a man’s voice asked.

The answer came from just inside the door. “She’s always known how to drive a bargain. Don’t let her get away with anything tonight. She needs to apologize first.”

Maeve glanced at me. I shook my head; she didn’t need to intervene.

A staff member opened the doors, and several people turned toward us. Ivy Reed’s name hung on a welcome-home banner. There were five proper chairs at the head table and a folding chair squeezed in beside them. A place card with my name told me where they expected me to sit.

A woman hurried over and reached for my hair. “There you are. Have you seen the time? How much longer were you planning to keep us waiting?”

I stepped out of reach. She hesitated, then frowned harder. At the table, a middle-aged man put down his glass. “Nora, go apologize to Ivy. Our guests have waited long enough.”

A tall younger man approached, holding a worn training wristband. “You used to insist on having the same one as me. Here. Let’s put an end to this attitude.”

I didn’t take it. The last man who came toward me made something tighten in my chest. I couldn’t place the sensation, but I remembered Maeve’s warning about the person who was still connected to me through a mate bond. He reached for my hand, his patience already wearing thin. “You’re back now. Let’s put this behind us.”

I stepped closer to Maeve and took out my folder. None of them looked at the documents. They were watching my face, waiting for me to say something. I kept the folder in front of me and tried to match them to the names I’d brought. [Ask who they are. You need to know whose signatures you’re getting.]

I looked from one unfamiliar face to the next. “Who are you?”