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I Was His Substitute, Until I Disappeared With His Child
I Was His Substitute, Until I Disappeared With His Child
作者: Levinne

Chapter 1

作者: Levinne
Elena's POV

I was born the second daughter of the Valerie family.

In a family that measured everything by the value of a marriage alliance, a second daughter wasn't worthless — but wasn’t the first choice either.

Since I was a little child, my parents barely spared me a glance.

They brought me along to the social gatherings of the vampire nobility, where I was nothing more than a backdrop.

Not too dazzling or memorable.

Everything changed at the ball that year — the first time I saw James.

The second son of a noble vampire family, standing quietly beside his father and elder brother.

My parents told me he was the boy I had been promised to since the day I was born — that I should mind my manners and learn how to stand by his side.

He was still young then, but the cold, sharp lines of his features had already taken shape.

In that single moment, everything shifted. For the first time in my life, I wanted to fight for something. I wanted to be remembered.

His expression was distant. He gave me a polite, gentlemanly nod, but his gaze didn't linger on me for even a second.

I couldn't help looking up at him again. My heart was beating so fast it didn't feel real.

"Hello. I'm Elena."

In that moment, no one knew.

What rose up in my chest wasn't numbness or resistance anymore.

It was relief.

Relief that the man I'd been promised to was James — that he was someone I loved.

After that, I began moving in vampire circles more and more often, studying alongside James, living alongside him.

Before I had even come of age, I had grown used to that world's nights, used to the scrutinizing glances reserved for humans, used to standing at James's side.

He had always been quiet and almost never smiled.

But it didn't take me long to realize his silence was something he saved only for me.

All his patience, all his tenderness, all his attention — belonged to one person.

Vicky.

His childhood companion, a noble-born vampire like him.

From the moment Vicky was born, she had been at James's and his brother's side. She had been the one obsession of James’s life.

But just because he had been born two years after his brother, he had lost his place as the heir — and his chance to have Vicky as his own.

All Vicky had to do was stand there, and she had every ounce of James's attention, every shred of his favor.

I had stood beside him for years, and he had never once truly looked at me.

When I was younger, I didn't understand.

I thought I just wasn't good enough, so I threw myself into becoming better.

After I graduated from design school, I became an event planner, designing weddings and banquets for vampire aristocrats.

I bore witness to countless vows. I helped other people celebrate their grand love stories.

I came to know many powerful vampires, kept up a respectable network and a respectable career, took meticulous care of myself so that I would always look poised and beautiful.

But no matter what I did, I could never make James turn his head for me. Not once.

Every banquet we attended, I was the one on his arm. I was the one smoothing things over for him, but he was always looking at Vicky.

Even when Vicky was always his brother's dance partner.

I started to envy her.

I started praying when no one could hear — If, just once, James could look at me the way he looked at Vicky — even once — I would give anything.

That day came sooner than I expected.

At the engagement banquet for Vicky and James's brother, she wore a gown I had designed. She stood on the dais radiant, soaking in the applause and the blessings of the room.

And I sat below, watching James — his expression hollow, complicated.

"Don't be sad, James. I'll always be here for you."

I looked at him and said the words I had said a thousand times before, and got back the same hollow answer I always got.

"Mm."

He poured himself one glass of wine after another, quietly shrugging off the hand I rested on his shoulder.

I pretended not to notice. I rose from my seat with composure and went to check on the rose arrangements in the garden.

The thorns drew blood from my palm. I didn't feel a thing.

I told myself, over and over, that it was nothing. I was just about to give in to the tears when I heard familiar footsteps behind me.

Before I could turn around, someone caught me from behind.

The thick smell of wine washed over me, and a second later, James lowered his head and kissed me.

Every part of me went still. I didn't dare meet his eyes.

Even drunk out of his mind, his elegance and his bearing made him seem completely composed — and I had always been lost in him, helpless to resist.

His hand pressed against my waist. His voice was low and rough.

"Haven't you always loved me?"

My throat closed. I couldn't speak. I only heard him let out a soft laugh.

It was the first time I had ever heard him laugh because of me.

"We can try."

In that moment, I thought — finally, my love and wait had received a response.
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  • I Was His Substitute, Until I Disappeared With His Child   Chapter 16

    Elena's POVThe fire took everything.His skin was burning. His breathing had gone ragged, broken with sounds of pain he couldn't quite hold back. He didn't let go.Not until the last of his strength was gone.A long time passed before there was sound from outside again. A group of vampires came in fast through the fire.The man at the head of them carried a sharp, cold air around him.It was his older brother. Joey.He stood at the doorway, looking off to the other side, where Vicky was being held down. Her face had gone ashen. Her struggling did nothing."Take her away."His voice was so cold there wasn't a degree of feeling in it. He shook his head and let out a quiet sigh, almost as if to himself."I told her, more than once, not to let jealousy run her like that."We were pulled out of the wreckage.The instant they pulled me away, what was holding James up gave out. He went down hard.His body was charred almost black. His breathing was shallow. He was alive.I sat up sharply. My

  • I Was His Substitute, Until I Disappeared With His Child   Chapter 15

    Elena's POVIt happened on a perfectly ordinary evening.I had come out of my room to go check on Jacob, and turning the corner, I ran into Vicky.She was standing there as if she had been waiting on me."It's been a while."Her smile was light.I didn't slow down.She stepped forward and blocked my way."You actually had the nerve to come back."Her voice was kept low. The malice in it was open.I looked at her. I didn't say anything.She held my eyes, and then her gaze drifted past me to the room behind me."That child. Is he yours?"She let out a soft laugh."How sad."I frowned.She kept going."A hybrid, with a soft, useless mother like you — the whole thing is a disgrace."My hands curled into fists."Move," I said.She didn't. She leaned in a little closer instead. The corner of her mouth lifted into a cold smile."You don't actually believe James is letting you stay here because he loves you, do you?"The words landed like a slap.She held my eyes. Her voice cooled by another d

  • I Was His Substitute, Until I Disappeared With His Child   Chapter 14

    Elena's POVOver the next several days, James changed.Not in any dramatic way. Just in the careful way every small thing was suddenly being handled. He stopped giving orders the way he used to, like it was his right. He stopped speaking to me with that cold, distant tone.He started asking me things.Slowly. Carefully."What do you… eat these days?""Are you still drinking coffee, or do you want something else?""Is the temperature in the room all right?"In the past, I had been the one keeping track of his habits, his preferences, his schedule. Now he was trying to make up for something, piece by piece, and terrified of getting it wrong.I didn't refuse him, but I didn't give him much either. I knew he was waiting for me to soften. I just acted the way he used to — looking past it all.I went on living the way I would anywhere else. Like a stranger passing through.Jacob recovered faster than I had expected. After the doctor adjusted his environment and medication, his condition slow

  • I Was His Substitute, Until I Disappeared With His Child   Chapter 13

    Elena's POVI stood there. I almost forgot to breathe.The night had come down heavy. The streetlight fell across him, and that familiar face was sharply outlined and somehow strange at the same time.Five years on, he was still cold. But there was a new weight to him, a pressure I couldn't put a name to.I pulled Jacob closer to me without thinking.Footsteps were closing in from behind.The Valerie family had caught up."Miss Elena. Please come back with us." A voice spoke up, leaving no room to argue. "Your conduct is in serious violation of family rule. This must be addressed."I didn't turn around.The voices were getting closer. One of them was already moving forward to take hold of me.That was when James took a step toward me.He didn't so much as glance at them. He didn't even acknowledge what they had said.His gaze slid slowly from my face down to the child in my arms.And held there.The look in his eyes made my chest tighten."Master James," the man behind me kept on. "We

  • I Was His Substitute, Until I Disappeared With His Child   Chapter 12

    Elena's POVIt wasn't until the dark had fully settled in that I actually set foot back in that world.The familiar feel of the place hit me all at once — cold, stifling, with a faint trace of blood underneath everything. I pulled the brim of my hat lower without thinking, hiding my face in the shadow, and tugged my scarf up so only my eyes were showing.Jacob shifted in my arms. He let out a soft, uneven breath.I looked down at him. His face had already gone a little pale, with a thin sheen of sweat at his hairline. I knew it was hard on him. A hybrid child senses scents and surroundings far more keenly than an ordinary person, and this place was too much for him.I took a small bottle of perfume out of my bag and gave him a light spray, then a touch on myself.I had prepared it specifically. To cover our scent.The smell was heavy.Jacob frowned. His small hand fisted into my coat, but he didn't say anything."Just a little longer. Okay?" I whispered to him.He nodded. His voice was

  • I Was His Substitute, Until I Disappeared With His Child   Chapter 11

    Elena's POVWhen I walked into the hospital room, Jacob was already awake.He was lying in the bed, his face a little pale. When he saw me come in, he tried his best to smile at me anyway."Mommy."His voice was soft.I went over and sat down by him, taking his hand."Does it still hurt?"He shook his head, then couldn't quite help wincing."Just a little bit."My eyes burned. I turned my face away on instinct.He reached up with his small hand and clumsily wiped at my cheek."Mommy, don't cry." His voice was so gentle. "I'll get better fast."That broke me.The tears came down.And he was the one comforting me, the words coming out in pieces, but with absolute seriousness."Mommy, I'm strong. I'll be okay."I held his hand tightly. My heart felt like something had a fist around it.I couldn't keep doing this.If we stayed here, he was only going to get worse.I looked down at him, and slowly made up my mind.No matter how unwilling I was, I had to go back.Back to the world I had thro

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