Chapter 4

On the night before the bonding ceremony, Ethan had barely walked me home when he got a phone call.

"Noah's so drunk at the tavern he can't even stand. I have to go get him."

He grabbed his car keys and was out the door before I could answer.

I sat alone in the living room and laid out everything for tomorrow's ceremony, one item at a time.

The ivory bonding gown, the crown woven from laurel flowers, and the evening dress for the reception afterward had all been delivered to the house.

My phone buzzed a few times.

Lily had posted in the family group chat.

"Nobody is allowed to be late tomorrow! Claire's handling greeting guests and the guest book, and I've got the flowers for the Moon Goddess's altar!"

Claire replied right away.

"Don't worry, everything's confirmed. I even printed out the schedule this afternoon. Everyone's getting a copy tomorrow."

She snapped a photo of it and posted it in the chat.

I opened the picture and slowly scrolled down.

From the guests arriving, to the priestess leading the rite, to the celebration banquet that night, every step was planned in detail.

Claire was in charge of coordinating the whole ceremony, welcoming the guests, and running the banquet.

Lily, Noah, and Kate were handling the groom's challenges and setting up the venue.

Ethan was in charge of the final mate vows.

Everyone who had helped plan it was on the list. Everyone except me.

I couldn't even find a single place where anyone had asked for the bride's opinion.

When I reached the last page, one note stopped my finger cold.

Mate vows: read by Ethan, written by Claire.

I stared at those words, and my chest slowly tightened.

So even the promise he would make to me in front of the Moon Goddess tomorrow, in his own voice, had been written for him by Claire.

I closed the picture and went to the kitchen to pour myself some water.

Front and center in the cabinet sat a jar of honey lemon tea with a violet label. Claire had left it here the last time she came over.

I picked it up and suddenly noticed that her things were everywhere in this house.

Her cream cardigan on the coat rack by the door. Her bottle of nail polish on the coffee table. A half-burned lavender candle on the windowsill.

Even the throw pillows on the sofa were ones Ethan had picked out because they were her style.

Holding that jar, I had the strangest feeling.

As if Claire were the real lady of this house, and I was only a guest staying for a while.

Close to midnight, I finally heard the lock turn.

Ethan came in smelling of alcohol and tossed his jacket over the arm of the sofa.

As he walked past me, a familiar scent of violets reached my nose.

It was the perfume Claire wore most.

And on top of that, there was a long, pale blond hair caught on his dark gray jacket.

My hair was dark brown and just past my shoulders.

Claire's blond hair hung all the way down to her waist.

"Is Noah home?" I asked.

"Yeah. Dropped him off at his door." Ethan rubbed between his eyebrows. He looked tired.

I pointed at his shoulder.

"Then why is there a woman's hair on your jacket?"

He glanced down and flicked it off onto the floor.

"The tavern was packed. Who knows where I picked it up. You're being way too sensitive."

I didn't call him out.

If it was just a stray hair, how was he going to explain Claire's scent?

But Ethan acted like nothing had happened. He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and rested his chin lightly on my shoulder.

"Why aren't you asleep? We're bonding in front of the Moon Goddess tomorrow. Aren't you excited?"

I didn't lean back into him the way I used to.

"Ethan, I want to ask you something."

"What?"

"Did you write tomorrow's mate vows yourself?"

His body went a little stiff.

"Of course. I finished them yesterday."

"Then read them to me now."

Ethan laughed under his breath and tightened his arms.

"What's the fun in saying them early? I've got to save some kind of surprise for you."

I took hold of his wrist, lifted his hand off my waist, and turned to face him.

"Claire wrote them for you, didn't she?"

The smile at the corner of his mouth faded at once.

He was quiet for a moment before he spoke, sounding a little awkward.

"She just helped me fix a few lines. You know she's always been good at this stuff. I just asked her for a small favor."

"So even when you make a promise to me, you need her to tell you what to say?"

"Ivy, can you not look at it like that?"

He let go of me, and that familiar look of helplessness came over his face.

"I can't just come up with a bunch of pretty words out of nowhere. She only helped me clean it up. Is it really that big a deal?"

I looked at him, and suddenly all the strength drained out of me.

Even my wolf had gone strangely quiet.

"Then forget the script. Tell me right now. What do you really want to promise me?"

Ethan opened his mouth.

He looked at me, his brow furrowing deeper and deeper, until he finally shoved a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Ivy, do we really have to do this now? I'm not good with words. It's not like you just met me."

"Not good with words?"

I repeated it softly.

"But whenever you're with Claire, you never seem to run out of things to say."

Ethan's face went dark.

"The whole pack is coming tomorrow to witness our ceremony, and you pick tonight of all nights to start a fight with me. What do you want me to do?"

"I'm not trying to fight with you."

I took a slow step back.

"I just suddenly really want to know. In tomorrow's ceremony, is there anything left that actually belongs to me?"

Ethan didn't answer.

I didn't wait for him. I went back to the bedroom alone.

As I closed the door, I heard him let out a heavy sigh in the living room. But he didn't follow me.

On the dresser lay the silk scarf I was supposed to wear tomorrow.

Ethan had given it to me for my birthday last year.

It was soft and pale lilac, with tiny flowers embroidered along the edge.

When I got it, I was happy for days. I thought Ethan had finally learned how to surprise me.

Later, I happened to overhear that before he bought it, he had gone to ask Claire.

"Do you think Ivy would like this?"

Claire said it was pretty, and he bought it on the spot.

I picked up the scarf and watched the lilac silk shimmer under the lamp.

Purple again.

Every gift Ethan ever gave me seemed to carry Claire's shadow.

I gently folded the scarf back into its box and pushed it to the very back of the drawer.

Around one in the morning, my phone suddenly buzzed over and over.

It looked like Lily had posted the wrong screenshot in the family group chat. A few seconds later, she hurried to delete it.

But I had already opened it.

The screenshot was from that private group chat. The one that had shut me out for eight whole years.

In it, Ethan had sent a long block of text. It started with:

"Can you guys take a look at my vows for tomorrow? Anything I should change?"

It was a full set of mate vows.

I slowly read it all the way to the end.

The words were beautiful. Almost perfect.

But I didn't feel moved at all.

Because I knew the person who wrote them wasn't Ethan.

Right under it, Claire had replied:

"This version is perfect! Ivy's definitely going to cry when she hears it."

Noah jumped in right away to tease him.

"Isn't that way too formal? I say just tell her, babe, you'll always be the prettiest little she-wolf!"

Lily sent a string of laughing-crying emojis.

Kate reminded them not to crack up at the altar tomorrow.

The five of them went back and forth, guessing how I would react when I heard the vows.

They even started betting on whether I would be so moved I'd burst into tears right there.

I stared at the screen, and suddenly the whole thing felt ridiculous.

They had already decided every detail of the ceremony. They had written Ethan's vows for him. They had even planned out how I would react.

And I, the one about to receive the mate mark, was the last person to know.

By werewolf tradition, a bonding ceremony meant two people freely choosing to hand their futures to each other.

Once the mark was made with the Moon Goddess as witness, their wolves would be bound together in a deep, lasting bond.

But now, even hearing one honest word from Ethan's own mouth had become too much to hope for.

I turned off my phone and sat on the edge of the bed in silence for a long time.

The living room had gone quiet. Ethan had probably fallen asleep on the sofa again, like he usually did.

I went to the closet and dragged out the suitcase I hadn't used in a long time.

Then I opened the drawers and slowly packed my documents, my clothes, and a few personal things.

I didn't turn on the light. I kept every movement quiet.

Just before dawn, I rolled the suitcase into the living room.

Ethan was curled up on the sofa, sound asleep.

I walked past him without stopping.

Before I left, I took a blank sticky note from the table and wrote my last words.

"I finally get it. That promise fifteen years ago only ever belonged to the five of you."

"I won't fight for a sixth place anymore."

I tucked the note under the schedule for the bonding ceremony, picked up my suitcase, and quietly closed the door behind me.

The cold morning wind hit my face.

I didn't look back. I walked straight toward the forest road that led to the edge of the territory.

Even after I had vanished completely into the morning mist, the door behind me never opened again.

No one noticed I was gone.