LOGINJolene Lester and I are twin sisters. Jolene ranks first nationwide and receives an acceptance letter from Briarlune Dance Academy, yet no one dares to smile. Mom clutches the acceptance letter and sobs in silence. Dad squats on the balcony trying to smoke, his hands shaking too badly to strike a flame. Dominic Ingram, our childhood friend, quietly stuffs the train tickets for a graduation trip with Jolene deep into his pocket. They can't even congratulate Jolene on her achievement, because this year marks the 18th anniversary of my renal insufficiency diagnosis. I'm so sick that I can't even sit for the SAT. I quickly hide the birthday cake I sneaked a bite of behind me. "I-I only had a bite…" Mom skips her usual routine of hugging me and whispering, "It's alright, Natalie." She snatches my birthday cake and throws it onto the floor instead, yelling, "We are all doing everything we can to keep you alive, yet all you care about is giving in to your appetite! Do you even have any idea how much strain cake puts on your kidneys? "Jolene hasn't been able to run, take PE, or go out with her friends since she was young. She hasn't even touched her dance shoes in ten years, all because she needs to be the best possible kidney donor match for you! "Your father worked food delivery day and night to save money for your treatment, wearing out five delivery bikes! I, on the other hand, cook for you according to your diet every single day of the year! Who do you think we're doing all this for, Natalie?" Nobody speaks for three seconds. I try to speak up, but I am rendered speechless by the agonizing pain in my chest. Mom glares at me with bloodshot eyes. "Do you even know how many years this family has been held back because of you? What more do you want from us? If you're really going to be so ungrateful, then it would be better if…" She chokes back a sob, tears dripping down onto the back of her hand. "It would be better if you just died, Natalie…" That tight feeling in my chest that's been suffocating me for years suddenly fades away as I muse inwardly, "I'll give you what you want. I won't drag this family down anymore, Mom."
View MoreI was finally laid to rest, and time just trickled by day by day.Mom and Dad went to the hospital for their health checkups and were told that they needed to undergo surgery. Jolene took the train to Briarlune Dance Academy, bringing her dance shoes with her. Dominic threw himself into his studies and reportedly won a scholarship.I watched from above and smiled. Their lives had truly started getting better once I was out of the picture. Mom and Dad had their surgeries, Jolene took the stage to dance professionally, and Dominic headed off to Briarlune for his studies, just like he had always dreamed of. I could finally let go and leave in peace now.I had been blessed with good fortune, as Mom's and Dad's surgeries had gone smoothly. Jolene requested a leave of absence from her dance academy to come home and look after them. She sat beside their hospital beds, peeling an apple as she said, "I won first place in the dance competition."Dad froze for a moment before saying, "That'
Mom and Dad looked at Jolene after hearing that, then quietly shifted their gaze over to my funeral portrait.I hovered over them, saying, "You two owe Jolene an apology for wrongly accusing her!"They couldn't possibly hear what I said, though.Mom buried her face in her hands in despair, while Dad let out a sorrowful sigh.I was confused. Why weren't they happy even with me gone? I didn't want things to turn out this way. Jolene got up and dropped to her knees in front of my funeral portrait. "Do you have a grudge against us? What was going through your head right before you ended your life, Natalie?"I just wanted everyone to be healthy and happy. I wanted to see you smile more often. I was already dead, though, so no one could hear what I had to say.It was then that the doorbell rang. Dominic opened the door to find Ms. Lowe holding a bouquet of white lilies. "I'm so sorry for your loss…"Jolene's eyes were brimming with tears. "Natalie died because of me, Ms. Lowe! If I
I was lying quietly in the medical examiner's office, neither angry nor happy, neither crying nor causing a scene.Mom's hands were shaking so much that she couldn't bring herself to pull back the white sheet. She looked at Dad, practically begging for reassurance. "It couldn't possibly be Natalie, right?"Dad's trembling hand reached for the white sheet, only to fall back down. He refused to believe that the person beneath the white sheet was me. "Natalie is about to have her transplant soon; she's going to have a second chance at life. Why on earth would she end her own life despite knowing that?"Jolene gritted her teeth and said, "If neither of you can do it, I will! I'm 100% certain that this isn't Natalie!"She walked over and lifted the white sheet, revealing the person beneath it with a peaceful expression and the faintest smile on her lips. She finally realized that the person lying there was actually me.Jolene took a few steps back in shock before losing her balance and
I couldn't help but feel a pang in my chest. How could Mom, Dad, and Dominic just leave Jolene behind? How many times had they done the same to her over those 18 years, when I wasn't there to see it? I wanted to reach out and comfort her, but my hand passed through her face. I couldn't do anything. I was already dead. I couldn't even comfort Jolene anymore.I wanted to cry too, but I was already dead. I couldn't possibly cry now.Jolene wiped her tears and headed back the way we had come instead of going home. She retraced the path we had taken, softly calling out to me. "It's time to go home, Natalie! I'm really sorry… I know I shouldn't have been jealous of you…"She passed the place where I had jumped into the river and saw that the police had cordoned off the area. She stopped for a moment, then went around it. "Natalie wanted to live so badly. She's going to be fine."She spent the entire night searching for me, her feet covered in blisters and her voice gone. She returned h


















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