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I'll Trade Myself for Your Peace
I'll Trade Myself for Your Peace
Author: Cocojam

Chapter 1

Author: Cocojam
My wolf went insane after I watched my parents take their own lives right before my eyes.

My childhood protector, Alexander, had to hold me every night.

The only thing that can soothe my wolf is Alexander's Alpha scent.

Later, Sophie, the Beta he cherished, took her own life, leaping from a bridge into the sea.

Everyone thought I had pushed Sophie into the sea, so that I could have Alexander all to myself.

The warmth Alexander once had for me was gone, replaced by an endless, desolate disappointment.

He kept whispering, "Why... did it have to be this way?"

But when a vampire’s lethal curse came for me, he still drained his Alpha strength to take the fatal blow.

As he lay dying, he used his last ounce of strength to wipe a tear from my cheek.

"It was my fault… I spoiled you, Elena. I never should have… brought you into my pack."

Alexander's parents, the former Alpha and Luna, called me a cursed Omega.

They said I was a calamity, that I was the one who destroyed their proud, noble Alpha son.

Consumed by regret, I went to the altar of the Moon Goddess and offered my soul.

I begged for a second chance, even if it cost me my soul's eternal peace.

When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day Alexander discovered my sick obsession with him—my desperate need to claim him as my mate.

This time, I would crush every delusional fantasy.

My only wish was for him to find his true mate and live a long, powerful, peaceful life.

As for me… my life was a price I was willing to pay.

...

"Elena..." His voice was a shocked whisper. "I always thought you were so innocent. How could you… harbor these kinds of feelings for me?"

The familiar voice echoed in my ears.

Before consciousness fully returned, I felt my heart hammering under the weight of his complex Alpha scent.

I stared, stunned, at the living, breathing, powerful Alpha before me.

Tears instantly welled in my eyes.

"Say something."

He sighed, tossing a shirt heavy with his scent over to me, covering the damning evidence.

A dark flush crept up his neck, a sign of shock and confusion.

At his feet lay a wooden box, its contents spilled across the floor—my secret hoard of items, all soaked in his scent.

It was undeniable.

My feelings for him went far beyond the bond we shared as packmates.

My wolf was sick with the need to possess him.

But right now, I didn't feel a single drop of shame for being discovered.

Instead, a wave of relief so powerful washed over me that I burst into uncontrollable sobs.

My endless nights of praying to the Moon Goddess had finally been answered.

I was reborn, sent back to the very moment Alexander discovered my dark obsession with him.

I trembled with the sheer joy of this new beginning, tears streaming down my face.

Alexander noticed something was off.

He must have thought his serious tone had terrified me.

He softened his voice, his gaze complex as he pointed at the box.

"Listen to me, Elena. Burn it." His voice was low, laced with a soft, weary emotion. "Just get rid of it, and we can pretend… this never happened."

Last time he said those words, the wolf inside me had snapped.

I'd grabbed him by the collar and kissed him.

He'd stared at me, utterly shocked, before recoiling as if burned.

From that day on, he refused to be in the same room with me.

If he saw me in the manor, he avoided me like the plague.

That one forbidden kiss had shattered my last restraint, fueling my obsession.

It also deepened my hatred for Sophie, the she-wolf who had captured his attention.

And that led to all the tragedies that followed.

So this time, I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand.

I scrambled to gather the scattered items, placed them back in the box, and carried it toward the fire pit in the backyard.

"Okay."

"I'll burn it."

When I was seventeen, my pack was destroyed overnight.

In his despair, my father drove us—my mother and I—up a winding mountain road.

The wind howled that day, and I remember my father's bloodshot eyes as he looked at me. "Elena, don't blame us."

I closed my eyes, ready for the car to plunge off the cliff.

But at the last second, he shoved a Moon Goddess charm into my hand.

Then he wrenched the steering wheel, throwing me clear of the vehicle.

The next moment, the car, with my parents inside, plummeted into the ravine and erupted in a ball of fire.

I sat on the edge of the cliff for what felt like an eternity.

Until Alexander found me.

He was only five years my senior, but he already carried himself with the unshakable presence of a future Alpha.

He handled the arrangements, fending off the vultures circling to claim my father's debts.

After the funeral, I moved into Alexander's home.

But every night, nightmares consumed me.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw that all-consuming fire.

Alexander tried everything.

He'd take me on walks under the full moon.

He would wrap me in his Alpha scent, staying by my side from dusk till dawn.

Then, one stormy night, my control finally shattered, and my wolf went feral.

I nearly tore my own throat out with my claws.

Alexander pinned me down, using his own body as a shield, letting my teeth and claws rake bloody marks across his arms, but he never let go.

That night, cocooned in his Alpha scent, I cried myself to exhaustion and finally found a peaceful sleep.

At seventeen, at eighteen, how could I resist a powerful, gentle Alpha who was so fiercely protective?

I began to collect anything that held his scent obsessively.

His shirts, his watch, even a paper bag he'd tossed aside…

Anything of his was enough to make my heart race and my wolf howl.

I prayed to grow up faster, just so I could finally confess.

But before I had the chance, the beta he loved, Sophie, killed herself by jumping into the ocean.

Everyone thought her death was my fault.

Alexander’s eyes turned to ice.

He looked at me with a gaze that held none of its former warmth, only endless disappointment and distance.

Yet when a vampire's lethal curse came for me, he still shielded me with his body without a second's hesitation.

Alexander was perfect in every way.

It’s just that his feelings for me seemed to be nothing more than an Alpha’s instinct to protect a member of his pack.

Mine was an Omega's primal craving for her mate.

In my past life, when Alexander's mother heard he had died, she collapsed on the spot.

His father pointed a shaking finger at me and roared.

"Elena, you are a calamity sent by the Moon Goddess! Will you not be satisfied until everyone who loves you is dead?!"

I remembered Alexander's last words:

"I spoiled you."

"If only… I had never brought you into my territory."

He regretted it.

And so did I.

I clutched the Moon Goddess charm to my chest.

They say if your prayer is sincere enough, the Goddess will answer.

I wanted to pray that in the next life, he would never meet me.

But perhaps I truly was cursed to walk alone forever.

I knelt before her statue for countless days and nights.

Until my energy was utterly depleted, and the charm in my palm began to glow faintly.

A voice, ancient and ethereal, echoed in my mind:

"What is done cannot be undone… but it can be relived."

"You are the calamity woven into his fate. If you do not resolve it, all your efforts will be in vain."

"Whether you repeat the tragedy or forge a new path, the choice is yours."

When I woke, the cracked charm in my palm was proof that it was no dream.

This life, I won't make the same mistakes.

No matter the cost, I will ensure my Alpha has a life of peace and happiness.
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  • I'll Trade Myself for Your Peace   Chapter 10

    The morning sun cut through the dark room like a knife.When I woke up, there was a heavy weight on top of me.I opened my eyes to Alexander's face, inches from mine.My phone screen was lit up. It was already nine.I bolted upright, the sudden movement waking the Alpha beside me.He lazily peeled his eyes open and with a long stretch of his arm, easily pulled me back into his embrace, pinning me with an irresistible Alpha force."Sleep a little longer," he murmured, his voice husky and impossibly sexy from sleep.Seeing the bite mark I'd left on his arm in my passion last night, my face flushed hot."I-I'm going to be late!"Alexander's grip loosened slightly, and I slipped out of bed like an eel, rushing into the bathroom.I heard his low chuckle from behind me, followed by a contented sigh."I don't remember you ever being this passionate about work."In the bathroom mirror, I saw my body was covered in love bites, from my collarbone down to my waist.Looked like I’d be wearing a tu

  • I'll Trade Myself for Your Peace   Chapter 9

    "How could you do that to her?!" I demanded, not even realizing my voice was shaking.Alexander slowly looked up. A flash of surprise crossed his eyes when he saw it was me, but it was quickly replaced by that dead calm."She's suffered so much, and it's all because of you! How could you just stand by and do nothing?!"I let all my anger and disappointment pour out.He just watched me quietly, like I was a child throwing a tantrum.He waited until I was done before he spoke."Are you standing up for her," he stated, not asked, "or are you just angry that I didn't turn out to be the 'devoted' Alpha you imagined?"His words struck me dumb.My heart stopped for a second, then started hammering against my ribs, trying to escape."You…"He’d known it was me all along.He started walking toward me, one step at a time.Useless.Two lifetimes, two different bodies, no blood relation to Alexander whatsoever.Yet I was completely pinned by his Alpha bloodline.I learned today that even running a

  • I'll Trade Myself for Your Peace   Chapter 8

    Alexander was a ghost that wouldn't leave, though technically, I was the real ghost here.If I went to the cafeteria for lunch, he’d sit at the table across from me.If I bought a coffee, he’d get one too, then drink it alone in a corner.It was infuriating.One day, I finally had a day without seeing him. I asked Ryan to go to the barbecue place across the street, ready to pig out.The meat had just hit the grill when Alexander pushed the door open.Ryan was stuffing his face across from me. He glanced up just in time to see me sitting bolt upright."Why aren't you eating?""...You go ahead."He grinned like an ass."Don't mind if I do."Then he swept the honey sauce and all the grilled meat in front of me onto his plate.A tall shadow fell over our table.A new plate of freshly grilled meat, slathered in honey, was placed in front of me."Eat."I looked up at Alexander, a sudden urge to cry welling up inside me.Gritting my teeth, I grabbed Ryan’s arm."Thanks, but my boyfriend can g

  • I'll Trade Myself for Your Peace   Chapter 7

    How could it be Alexander?!The room started to spin.The department head pulled the string on another popper and announced enthusiastically,"Let's welcome our new CEO, Alpha Alexander!"That's when I noticed Sophie wasn't with him. She wasn't here.People around me started whispering."This Alpha is so intimidating… but so hot!"Ryan nudged me. "I still think my Alpha is more beautiful."I shot him a glare."That's bullshit!"My Alpha is far more handsome, my inner wolf bristled.Ryan looked baffled by my sudden outburst."Hey, what's your problem?"I clapped a hand over his mouth, trying my best to shrink into the background and mask my scent with blockers.Even though this body didn't look much like my old one at first, after three years, the resemblance was growing.Thank God I wore a mask today.Alexander had only glanced my way when he came in. He hadn't looked at me since.He definitely didn't recognize me.That night, the department head organized a team dinner to welcome the

  • I'll Trade Myself for Your Peace   Chapter 6

    Elena's POVIn another wing of the manor, Alexander's parents were at their wits’ end."None of the doctors can help.""It's like he's lost his soul. Maybe… the Moon Goddess's sanctuary can do something."I never thought I'd wake up again.I was in a dim, rented room.On the table was a job offer letter.The name on it was "Elena."I was reborn in the body of an Omega orphan who happened to share my name.My new body didn't look much like my old one.She was a rogue, with no parents, who had fought her way up from the slums.Her life was a blank slate. It felt like a gift from the Moon Goddess herself.This city was a world away from the one I used to live in.In a twisted way, everything I had prayed for had come true. My sacrifice had worked: Sophie was alive. Alex could finally be with her and be happy.The price… was that we would never see each other again.It took a long time for me to calm down.The red cord holding the shattered amulet was still resting quietly in my palm.I

  • I'll Trade Myself for Your Peace   Chapter 5

    Alexander's POVAlexander’s mind screamed at him, but his body had already moved.His Alpha instinct was a beast off its leash, dragging him toward the bridge.He saw Sophie.She was collapsed at the edge of the bridge, soaking wet, screaming Elena’s name.Why was she screaming Elena’s name?An icy fist closed around Alexander’s heart.He shoved savagely through the crowd and rushed to the railing.There was nothing below. Just the black, angry sea.His Omega. The girl he’d brought home. She was gone.No.She was supposed to be at home, waiting for him to bring back cupcakes from her favorite bakery, her favorite treat.She wasn't supposed to be... swallowed by this damned sea.Sophie told him everything.Through her tears, she said Elena had saved her."When I jumped, she fought with all her strength to pull me up… but she… she fell instead…""She said… if I died, you’d miss me for the rest of your life. She didn’t want you to be that sad."The air was punched from Alexander’s lungs.

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