Chapter 4

Lyra

The door creaked open, the sound grating against my nerves. I forced my eyes open, the heavy lids protesting as I realized I was still crumpled on the cold bathroom floor. When I tried to push myself up, my muscles felt like water. My legs gave way instantly, sending me back down to the tile.

“Whuff.” A heavy, ragged breath escaped my lungs.

“Lady Lyra?” Elin’s voice called from the bedroom. I didn't answer.

The effort to form words felt like a mountain I wasn't ready to climb. I tried to stand once more, but my knees buckled again. I clenched my jaw so hard my teeth ached, rolling my eyes at my own uselessness.

The memories of the previous night came rushing back in a cold wave. I loathed the hollow space in my chest where a wolf should have been. My feelings were a bitter, valid knot of resentment. I was a defect, a broken thing, and in this moment, I hated that I couldn't even command my own limbs to rise.

After four more grueling attempts, I finally managed to steady myself. I turned to the mirror and my heart gave a painful squeeze. The woman looking back was a masterpiece of deception: skin as flawless as spun silk, eyes as wide and luminous as the moon, and lips the color of crushed strawberries. My lashes were long, dark fans that framed a gaze that had gone completely dim. I looked like a corpse wrapped in a goddess’s skin.

I couldn't let them see the rot inside. I did what I always did: I stretched my lips into a practiced, porcelain smile. I held it until it felt natural, until it was a mask I could wear like armor. Only then did I open the bathroom door.

Elin rushed toward me, her face pale with a frantic sort of terror. What is her problem? I wondered, keeping my expression neutral.

“Lady Lyra!” she cried, her voice breaking.

I stood frozen, my pulse hammering against my ribs. Why is she crying? Panic flared in my stomach.

“I’m sorry, I am so, so sorry,” she sobbed, her hands shaking as she checked me for injuries. “I know I shouldn’t have listened to Lady Selene. I hate myself for putting you in this state, but… I didn't have a choice.”

I wanted to tell her it was okay. I wanted to tell her that I didn't blame her, but the walls of this house had ears.

I was terrified this was a trap, a test to see if I would finally break my silence. Instead of speaking, I pulled her into a hug, patting her back in a silent, rhythmic reassurance.

After several minutes, she pulled back and wiped her eyes.

“The Alpha said,” she sniffed, refusing to meet my gaze, “that I should bring you down for dinner.”

I gave a stiff nod. She set a bath for me, her movements hurried and nervous. Once I was washed and dressed, she began to pull a brush through my hair.

“You look unreal, Lady Lyra,” Elin whispered, her eyes full of a strange, pitying admiration as she looked at me through the glass. I nodded, a silent thank you.

“Okay, let's go.” She set the brush down with a definitive click.

Before standing, I took one last look. I was draped in a gown of shimmering pink, my silver-blonde hair pulled into a high, sleek ponytail.

The silk left my pale skin exposed….a choice I knew hadn't been mine, but the Alpha’s. I was being dressed like a doll for display.

I followed Elin through the winding corridors. As we entered the hall, the atmosphere changed. The silence of my room was replaced by the low hum of life and the stinging weight of a dozen gazes. Whispers trailed behind me like a shroud.

“She’s so unreal,” one voice murmured.

“I wish I was as beautiful as she is,” another sighed.

I had heard it all a thousand times, but one comment made my blood turn to ice.

“Being wolfless is the reason she looks so ethereal. Such a lucky thing. I wish I were her.”

Lucky. The word felt like a slap. My hands began to tremble, and I dug my fingernails into the silk of my gown to hide the shaking. To wish for this emptiness, for this golden cage, was an insult I couldn't swallow.

“My Lady?” Elin whispered, noting my hesitation. Her eyes asked if I was alright. I forced that big, bright, hollow smile back onto my face and nodded.

We reached the dining hall, and Elin excused herself. I walked toward the empty chair beside my husband. He didn't look at me; he was too busy smiling sweetly at Lady Selene. I stared at her, the confusion gnawing at me. Who is she?

“Ooh, look who has arrived,” my husband laughed, his voice booming and arrogant.

“My ethereal wife. The most beautiful creature in the world. I still can’t believe I won her.”

He laughed again, and I forced my smile to stay put. Won me. I wasn't a partner; I was a trophy, a prize in a bet he’d likely cheated to win.

“Eat, wife. Eat,” he commanded.

I served myself with trembling precision, terrified that a single dropped fork would shatter the peace.

“Alpha Draven, last night was fun,” Lady Selene said, her voice dripping with a mocking sweetness.

“But you know you are meant to apologize to your wife, right?”

I kept my eyes on my plate, pretending the words were just wind.

“She’s not angry. Or are you angry, wife?” Draven asked. He turned to me, and the look in his eyes made me gulp hard. It wasn't a question; it was a threat.

I shook my head quickly and forced another smile.

“I told you, sister-in-law,” Draven said, turning back to Selene that's her name. “She isn't angry. She knows her place.”

Sister-in-law.

The word hit me like a physical blow. My practiced smile vanished. I squinted at them, my mind racing to connect the dots.

The intimacy, the shared looks, the "fun" from last night, he was flaunting his mistress, and his mistress was family. A sudden, violent cough seized my chest. I pushed my chair back and stood up abruptly.

“What is the matter, wife?” he asked, his tone sharpening.

I didn't answer. I rolled my eyes, a rare flash of defiance breaking through my mask. I took a deep, shuddering breath, my hands clutching my gown so hard the fabric groaned.

The betrayal was a bitter bile in the back of my throat. He didn't love me, I knew that, but to openly parade his brother's wife? The shamelessness of it was a new kind of torture.

I turned and bolted. I didn't care about the consequences; I would rather rot in the dungeon than sit at that table for another second. As I hurried out of the hall, Elin rushed to my side, her face a mask of dread. My heart hammered against my ribs, and hot tears burned behind my eyelids.

I had almost reached the safety of my wing when a heavy hand lurched out and grabbed my arm, spinning me around.

Smack.

The sound of his palm hitting my cheek rang through the corridor like a gunshot. The force sent me sprawling to the floor. My vision swam. My father had never once laid a hand on me.

“I’m so sorry! I didn't mean to hit you!” Draven panicked instantly, but not out of guilt. He hovered over me, his face twisted in fear.

“Ooh, Moon Goddess… Alpha Kael will kill me if he knows I hit his daughter.”

He wasn't worried about my pain; he was worried about the "merchandise" being damaged. He was afraid my father would cancel their deal and demand a refund for his broken prize.

“Elin!” he barked.

“Yes, Alpha,” she whispered, trembling.

“Lock her up until she heals. I don’t want to see her outside. If I see her before that bruise fades, I’ll kill you,” he spat, before scurrying away like a coward.

Elin reached out to help me, but I didn't budge. I stayed on the floor, my cheek stinging with a rhythmic, pulsing heat. The tears I had been holding back finally broke free, carving hot paths through my makeup.

“I hate my face,” I said.

The words were loud, raspy, and raw. I knew I shouldn't speak, I knew the danger of it, but the dam had burst.

“Lady Lyra… you talked,” Elin gasped, her eyes wide with shock.

I forced myself up, the tears still streaming. I leaned in close to her, my voice a cold, sharp blade.

“If you tell anyone about this, your death will be far worse than anything you have ever witnessed. I advise you to keep this knowledge to yourself.”

I didn't wait for her response. I turned and ran to my room, slamming the door behind me. Just like the night before, I stumbled into the bathroom. I turned the taps on with shaking hands, watching the water roar into the tub. As soon as it was full, I submerged my head.

Under the water, where the world was muffled and drowned, I screamed. I screamed until my throat felt like it was bleeding.

Why, why, why?

I thought I was finally escaping. I thought marriage was a path to freedom, or at least a path to being loved.

I was wrong. I was never getting freedom and much more Love.