Chapter 7 - Take a chance

“We really should stop meeting like this.” Adira say standing behind me. I smile at the familiar soothing sound of her voice. I have dreams of her speaking to me in that beautiful; it’s a trip to have her standing so close to me and talking to me. My body came alive the moment she said her first word. It’s like my dreams are coming alive, her voice takes me t a different dimension. I love it.

“I know, it’s almost like one of use is stalking the other.” I say turning around to look at her. A smile spreads across my face when I see her beautiful face. She smiles back at me a different reaction from the girl I ran into at the coffee shop.

She’s so much more open today. She’s looking me in the eyes and she’s not holding herself back like she was. She seems more at ease today.

“It has to be you stalking me because I’m from here, you’re the new comer.” She says smiling.

“Oh, so it’s like that? Because I’m from out of town I’m the psych. Okay, I see what’s going on here.” I say and she laughs. I look at her mesmerized. Her laugh is better than her talking voice. She looks so much younger and less burdened when she laughs. It’s a joy to hear her laugh.

“Next in line.” An attendant at the food truck calls out and realize that I’m next up to place my order.

“What are you getting?” I say to her and she looks at me curiously. I take a step closer to the food truck waiting for her to step closer but she doesn’t. I look at her confused; I thought we had a moment just then. I thought we were making progress and she was getting comfortable with me. But I guess I read the whole situation wrong.

“You can go first.” She says and I raised my brows at her in question. What am I missing here?  “I’m not letting you sneak pay for my food. I know what you did at the coffee shop.” She says and it dawns on me.

“That was my token of appreciation for letting me share a table with you.”  I say smiling sweetly and she shakes her head no. I look at the food truck lady and I can tell she’s getting annoyed but she doesn’t want to be rude.

I order my food, pay and then step aside to let her do the same.

“You didn’t like that I paid for your coffee?” I ask her when we find a place to sit a few feet from the truck. I look at her beautiful face, trying to commit every detail to memory. I want to paint her so bad, I want to have her come to my studio and have her pose for me. I know we will create magic if she lets me do it.

“Not that I…” She says looking at me for a moment. “Yeah, I hated it.” She says looking at me waiting for a reaction.

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way, that wasn’t my intention. I was trying to be chivalrous and I wanted to return the kindness you extended to me.” I say trying to explain to her my intentions. I didn’t think it would be taken out of context.

“I appreciate the gesture. But I would also appreciate it if it didn’t happen again.” She says looking at me for confirmation that I won’t do it again.

“I have a question.” I say and she looks at me sideways nodding. “What happens if we by chance go on a date. Do I pay then?” I say and she looks at me curious. She looks away for a moment and I think she won’t answer but she looks back at me.

“If by chance we do go out on a date then we split the bill.” She says and I’m disappointed. I know the in thing today is for dates to split the bill but I wasn’t raised like that. My mother taught me differently and I find it difficult to do the fifty-fifty thing every time I take someone out.

I want to pay when we’re on a date, especially when I’m on a date with a girl I really like. And I really like this girl. I just want to treat her and show her I enjoy her company. Nothing suspect.

“I have to admit I struggle with that one.” I say choosing to be honest with her rather than lie and find myself in a weird situation.

“I have my own money, I don’t need you to pay for my food.” She says getting a little loud.

“And I don’t doubt that…” I say looking at her. I feel like I’m not getting my point across and I fear if this conversation goes any further, we will end up getting into an argument with her.

 I can tell that this is something that is important to her. It’s really not worth getting into right now. “You know what? I get what you’re saying; I apologize for crossing a line. It will never happen again.” I say smiling at her so she knows that I mean no harm.  She looks at me and she quickly looks away.

“I appreciate that.” She says mot looking at me anymore.

“So how is your night?” I ask wishing to get back to the banter we had a few minutes ago. I feel some type of way that she’s not looking at me and I can feel all of her walls coming up again. I should have just conceded her point and let the bill thing go.

“My night is going okay I guess. I’m starving, I’m tired and I really wish I was in bed right now. But other than that I’m good.” She says looking in the direction of the food truck.  

“My night is going great, not that you asked.” I say and she looks at me.

“I didn’t but good to know. What’s so great about it?” She asks smiling at me.

“Well I got out of my apartment and went exploring. I met a lot of cool people and I got a lot of inspiration for my next piece. It was a really good day and on top of that I’m about to eat dinner. What more can a man ask for?”  I say getting up when I’m called to come get my order.  

“Are you always this happy?” She asks me a few minutes after we inhale our food. Neither of us spoke as we swallowed every last bite of the food. We were really hungry; now that my stomach is full I’m happy. And I have a sneaky feeling that Adira feels the same way, she looks full and happy.

“Of ‘course. Life is beautiful.” I say and she looks at me with a smile on her face but it’s not a joyous smile. It’s a I don’t get you smile. She looks like she’s having a discussion in her head trying to figure me out and she’s failing.

“Life is beautiful.” She repeats my words and she has this look of wonder on her face. But I see that sadness I heard in her voice the first time we crossed paths. It’s right there in her eyes, it’s so potent. I want to take it away and replace it with pure joy. I know I can do that for her, with her. She has a lot of joy inside her she just doesn’t let it out much.

“You don’t agree?” I ask curious to hear where that sadness is coming from.

“I think that the moon is beautiful. The way the stars share the sky, each one shining as bright as the next.  There is so much beauty that splashes across the sky when the sunrises or sets. And I can definitely see beauty in flower blooming but I can’t say that life is beautiful.” She says looking at me sadly. This time she doesn’t look away, she looks at me straight in my eyes.   

I think she’s doing it to prove her point that life is not that great. She’s trying to show me through the sadness in her eyes. Ana I appreciate her for letting me in like that. She’s giving me a challenge, she’s challenging me to show her the beauty of life and that’s a challenge I will gladly take on.

“The things you listed are the reason why life is beautiful.” I say and I can see that she doesn’t agree before she says a word.

“Those are things in nature.” She says looking at me closely.

“And you can’t separate one from the other. You and I are sitting here at this very moment because of nature and life. We wouldn’t exist without one or the other.” I say and she sighs looking at me.

“I think you and I view life differently. We won’t agree on anything.” She says looking at me like she just realized something she’s been wondering about for a long time. And she’s disappointed at the outcome.

“You know what? That’s okay too.” I say and she smiles.

“Because that’s the beauty of life. That what you were going to say right?” She says laughing and I nod vigorously. “You’re something else Simon.” She says looking up at the sky.