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Volume 3: Ch. 1
The Sunday evening struggles
A month has passed yet things remained the same. The root of hatred towards the people around her, the longingness for his arms, the stray path she took and the past that he could never ran away.
“I got to business trip this week so I won’t be coming home for three days.”
He sat in front of the table in usual Sunday night. The same eerie quietness, not a sound from the utensil can be heard. But the intense atmosphere between the mother and son. He wanted to finish his meal, but doing so would just lead to another rumbling which he preferred not to. He realized that her mother was a catalyst to trigging his anxieties. The young man decided to keep his mouth shut. But the persistent mother remained obnoxious.
“High school days will soon end; have you been fixing your grades?” His mother asked as she cared about him. The tone was implying a nagging and frustration. “You bette
LeGrinchHey guys! I'm kinda back, thanks for sticking around. I had some depressing month and thanks to modules and some personal problem but I hope I can get back in track. love love
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The girl named Anastasia Monday morning, the sleepless Anastasia got up her bed with drowsy eye. She tried her best to stay awake the whole night, it wasn’t first time for her but she felt her body nearing the limit. Tip toes, she heard her mother and father arguing about money. Their tone raises every second that she stood there inside the room. She wanted to get out of her house, leave the hell house, at least have a better life. Tears immediately falls as flashbacks scrolled through her mind. “Ughhhh...Yes, that's right...” “Ana, shut the fuck up!” Those abominable sentence haunted her throughout the years. The younger self that she had in the past was tainted with sex, but she didn’t have the strength to do anything nor the courage to tell her own mother, how can she? Is her own mother saw what happened yet did nothing. “S-stooo…” Overpowered, the young girl was muted. She couldn’t scream out loud, because his titan hands that shut her off. Mother, she watched
IF ONLY Volume 3: Ch. 3
The kindness he thought he never had. It was mid of the day. Yet Wayne and Anastasia laid on small one-man bed. Nothing sexual, just two exhausted teenagers after a long night. The young man was fast asleep snoring loudly, the hushing breath came from his tiresome mouth. Anastasia stayed awake the whole time, heart pounds as she was closer to him than before. “You look nicer that I thought you’d be.” She uttered at the sleeping young man. She wanted to close her eyes and rest but this was a moment she didn’t wish would end. It felt surreal. Like a fairy tale story that I’ve always hated. I mean who would believe in a charming prince coming to save a girl like me living in hell? But it happened. The girl stared in his shut eyes, appreciating the boy who gave him an opportunity to be a to start a new life. He did a lo
IF ONLY Volume 3: Ch. 4
The Monster inside his home. He walked home with expectations. The face of her angered mother, the slap that he would get, the harsh words he’ll receive. He smiled bitterly. He tired of the same shit, the absolute rules and the controlling palm of her mother. He never obeyed her in the first place, he never once became the kind child she expected to be. The son a mother would boast in front of their peers, a son who would prove that they are a good mother. All he did was disobey and rebel, thus the feeling of hate between them was mutual. He knew that, and he expected those response. “I’m already fucked up, why bother following the fucked-up rules?” He told himself. Clenched jaw and curled lip, he had enough of his mother. He wanted to stand up for himself. To end the night of horror, to be free from the anxiety that he has each night. Mother is the cata
IF ONLY Volume 3: Ch. 5
Feelings “Jill? What if I told you that I like him?” April curiously asked. The girl looked at Jill who laid in her shoulder, she took a nap and remind her best friend to wake her up once they reach their house. She didn’t except her response, but Jill heard it clearly. The girl opened her eyes and respond. “That’s kinda dumb April. You just said it yourself, and don’t even try to deny.” April looked down; she avoided looking at her friends’ eyes. She wondered what would happen if she and Wayne started dating. Wayne as a boyfriend, I guess I would be a fool if I said no. He played an important role on my break. He would probably be good lover. She reflected back to their kiss, his soft lips, the expected reaction he had. April bit her lips and giggled. “Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad.” “What?” But she soon regrets
IF ONLY Volume 3: Ch. 6
THANKFUL “Farewell mother, I am shutting you from my life from now on.” Wayne left before the sun had set. It was pitch dawn, he carried his backpack and walked outside the house. He didn’t look back, his memories from his home were nothing but fear, pain and suffering. The young man partially limps as he felt the pain from the beating that he got. It swollen badly, but he kept walking away. He finally got a place to rest when he reached the closest terminal. The young man waited for a ride. He sat on empty bench with flickering lights above. He sighed and laid his body. It was nothing but peaceful, he thought about freedom. The young man sees himself like a bird who escape the cage of abuse. “Sir are you heading somewhere?” It took a while before a tricycle arrived. “Yes, take me to my sanctuary.” Wayne picked up his belonging and told the driver his address. The young man got in, he was brought the place were told
IF ONLY Volume 3: Ch. 7
Give her a chance “I wonder why he’s absent?” Jill wondered. The girl sat on his chair with the same pose he usually those. It was the old corner in t he back close near the windows, the young man stares in the window while girls that passed by wonders what goes on inside his head. She ignored the random blabbering of her teacher and sulked while thinking of him. April noticed her gloomy friend and decided to sneak beside her. She sat on Jill’s friends; her blank state best friend didn’t notice her until she tapped her shoulder. “Are you okay?” She concerningly asked. Jill stared at the window for a second, she thought about the days they used to hang out, the fun memories, and dates. The girl realized the ephemeral and couldn’t to pout because of it. Everything can turn upside down, life is short, and consistently moving. She sighed and ignored April’s words. Agitated, the impatience friend wanted to smack her in the head. But realize the love sick she had, she already had a glim
IF ONLY Volume 3: Ch.8
I’ll love you until I can Jill reached the address that Anastasia sent. The girl wondered how she knew about it this place, and how come Wayne told the little girl before herself. It’s her first time A sense of jealousy spark inside her, she pouted before she approached the gates. There must be some reason why’s she’s here? The girl pondered. She had the gist that the two started living, and her reaction was flushed and slightly annoyed when she thought of it. “I better find it out myself.” She shook her head and opened the gates. Everything felt surreal, yesterday was a painful rejection but a light of hope when he said it was possible. That alone gave her hope to keep going, the two hasn’t started to confess yet, and thus she believed that she had a chance. He was probably tried to be nice, but that didn’t faze Jill. She loved him for a long time, and he couldn’t simply just back out. Unless he
IF ONLY Volume 3: Ch. 9
Grateful The midterm was just two days ahead. Students cramping to review to finish the project before the deadlines was a common sight to see. April was one of the tardy student who only does her school requirements few days before the given sate. Alongside with Hori and Joy, the two kept bugging Jill. It was 7 am in the morning. The number of students walking in the pathway keep growing. All had the same depressing eyes, exams weren’t a fan favorite in the school, except for smart ass students. But majority of the student in their school was bunch of students having no clue on what they wanted in the future. Joy sighed when she saw Aizen on the school grounds. She was avoiding him for weeks, and somehow hope that he would come visit her out of concern. Thus, she realized there’s no point of chasing him, the guy he likes clearly has no feelings for her. But deep inside Joy feelings remained solid, but not bright enough for her to confessed. The girl sulk and went back
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