Sometime in the past that was not so distant, I used to be excited to see his face. I would have walked with a bubbling excitement to meet him. But that day, I took my time.
I closed the car door and walked towards him. He sat on the pavement just outside my apartment.
"I have been trying to reach you. " he said.
"Mathew" I breathed out, pausing infront of him before I climbed upto the balcony ,"Did something happen? "
That was me, being civil in the best way I could. I was being the Lady Uncle Joe knew me to be, calm and polite even when I wanted to bring out the perfume in my bag and smash it on his head.
I climbed onto the balcony and he jumped down from the pavement . "I want to talk to you " He said.
In that moment I imagined my voice would get too loud and I would entertain my neighbors even without them seeing me. I stayed at the last floor of a duplex with three other flats . Two flats downstairs and two flats upstairs. I shook my head against being a topic of discussion amongst my neighbors .
" Let's go inside, Mathew." I said, putting a key into the keyhole.
I turned in time to see him adjust his tie and then his jacket then he stood with squared shoulders looking at me, obviously waiting for me to open the door. I hated him, I hated the smile on his face, I hated that he stood straight instead of with drooped shoulders like a rain beaten cat.
In the sitting room, darkness contrasting the little light outside greeted us. In a few seconds my eyes had adjusted to the darkness because it was my home. Even in darkness, I would still know my way around. I collapsed into a long sofa facing the television and began to search my bag for my phone so I could use the torchlight.
My sitting room was a small one with two single-seater sofas at the sides and a long one which faced the television . The Samsung plasma television stood out on the wall at one end of the living room. Two short stairs, close to the entrance of the living room, led to my dining of three seats and a little bar consisting of six bottles of wine and a set of wine glasses, I almost never used.
Matthew had already found a rechargeable lantern that I always placed on the dining table. It was a way of reminding me that I once welcomed him into my home.
" Mathew, Do not touch anything in my house " I managed to say without shouting.
In silence, he sat down on the one seater-sofa backing the entrance to the living room . I felt his gaze on me as I loosened up the lace of the sneakers I wore to work but when I looked up, he was staring at the lantern.
"Spit all you have, Mathew. I have alot of work to do."
He started by wiping his hands on his black plain trousers then he sat almost at the edge of the chair so he could be closer to me.
"Lady, I love you. If this whole thing meant nothing to me, I would not have put a ring on your finger. "
"I see you have nothing to say "
"I did not know she is your sister, I didn't know ! " He exclaimed, spreading his hands in frustration.
He stood up and walked to the television. Leaning on it, he said ,"I want to break up with her just so I can be with you "
I was already beginning to understand that there was something wrong with Mathew's reasoning. He said it like it was not my sister he was talking about, like it was not my sister he wanted to hurt for me. He said it like he thought I was the most senseless woman on earth .
It was very clear that he could not see I had grown, that I was six months older than the woman he used to lie to, the woman he used to tell, my mom really wants to meet you. Now I know that the mother does not even know if there's a Nene Akomas in the world.
Ada and I were not so close over the phone but we always hit off on meeting.
Coming back from work one day, she called."Guess who is getting married? " she said in a sing song voice over the phone, her excitement was carried with each word.If I had known the truth I would have said, "You and my fiancee " in that same sing song voice. I just replied excitedly waiting for her to reveal her man maybe it could have been one of the men she introduced to me in the past.
"Tell me ! " I shouted impatiently. She went on to gush over a business man she met, dark-skinned, average height and handsome . I was wowing to every description.
"You know what.. You know what? I'm going to send you our pictures together. we look so good together!" she was chatting away excitedly and I was happy for her.
"...and she wants to meet you " he was saying. I realized Mathew had been talking. I wondered what other rubbish he had been spitting.
"When do you want us to go? " he asked squatting infront of me.
"Nnam, what are you talking about ?"
" We can go this weekend to see my mother "
" You are a lunatic, you are at the final stages. After now, you would die from your madness. " I spat out angrily.
Looking at him, I wondered how a person could be so stupid not to realize when it was game up. There was some truth to what I said because only a crazy man would show up at my door step after everything and maybe I was crazy too for letting him into my home. But a part of me wanted to hear him say that I was not enough or something wrong I did but he only came to beg.
I stood and walked closer to him. "Those pictures are so clean in my head. You know they were beautiful pictures right? " I asked, then I found myself laughing.
"Oh yes, pre-wedding photos " another laughter I could not control. I was loosing it slowly.
"Lady, " he called, "Please calm down " then he touched me. The hell got loose.
"Do not fucking touch me, you mad man! " I shouted, I was so close to biting his hand till he bled. I had done it mentally several times.
"Calm down, baby"
"I'm so calm" then I laughed ," I am so so calm, believe me " another awkward laugh.
"Let's call it a mistake. Lets start over. I love you and I know you still love me"
At that point, maybe all he could see was a weak woman, used to loving a man like him and he reminded me of a time I wanted to forget, a past I hated. I would never be able to embrace that past and move on like motivational speakers say.
The two faced lying man was looking at me, his once handsome face now looking like the face of a tortoise ; mindless and deceptive. He had not always been coming. He must travelled on a business trip or woman trip and returned to beg the weak woman he thought I was. He was back to torture me.
"I'll head now to my room and if you still here by the time I return, it will be considered suicide " I said, rather too calmly for a life threat.
Maybe he knew, the calm threats were the dangerous ones.
"I'll come back when you are a bit relaxed " He said to my back as I walked through the door at the dining down the dark corridor to my room.
Strongly, I wished he would leave. I didn't know how I would fulfill my threat but I knew I could. I had that madness in me and right then I felt it topping my sanity. A knife would have been so dramatic but I could boil water in five minutes or less and I had bleach which could cost him a shirt and trouser forever and also some bruises from the hot water, that seemed a better idea. The thought of that brought joy to my sad soul.
When I was inside my room, I heard the screeching of tyres and I ran to the window and watched as he drove out then Ife, the gateman closed the gate.
"Ife !" I called from the window and he came running, in his usual way of flapping his hands before him and bending his head like a shy woman.
"Yes madam" he said when he had come close enough to hear me. His voice was soft, less masculine just like his walk and running.
"Do not allow that car into this place again. If you ever do, just pack your things and Leave before I come back and tell your oga Mathew to resume your duty. " I warned him sternly.
"That wan no be problem ,ma" then he stamped his feet and raised his hand to his head in salute.
***
I should have known that there was a big problem when I did not state the instruction clearly. Six days from Mathew's last visit I saw his grey Toyota parked outside the gate. I still drove in without turning back. It always took me alot of strength to face him without letting my emotions disfigure his face or destroy one of his cars. I was still bent on the steering when the car door opened. I looked up and asked immediately,"What do you want? "
It was like I beat him to his own words and scrambled his speech. "Are you okay? " he asked lending me a hand which I accepted and stepped out of the car.
"I don't want to ever find you close to my property, shop, house, car. You will surely not enjoy what I'll do " I said after I stepped down
"My lady, please. "
Most times when I heard his pleas, I always wondered what he was pleading for. Was he stupid enough not to see that I could not go back to a liar and senseless cheat? Yes he was.
I walked faster than him, unlocked my door and shut it in his face. There, my neighbors now have a teaser.
When I was sure he had left, I called Ife, this time stating clearly I no more wanted Mathew around or both of them will sleep in the police station.
It was Mid January when work started to come. It was a time I needed to get my mind off things . Clothes and needles came to the rescue so I gathered alot of work till my legs started to hurt. I had lots of work. I did not mind but the urgency they always stated was maddening! I knew I could meet up. Most days, I worked midnight like I'm conducting a clothe vigil.Aku mostly sold the clothes on display and she was good with the customers, especially the ones that wanted to eat off my profit and cost price. She was good with all of them, she was a beautiful girl, cheerful and easy going. She was always patient. I think most of the customers even amused her because of the way she twitched up her lips when they were negotiating. When we had no customers she would sit on a white plastic seat reading an old newspaper or revising her books for JAMB.It was alre
Mrs Idika got her self busy with an Indian movie channel. I tried to join her but I always dozed then came back to consciousness like a security man sleeping on duty."Nene! "I woke up to the sound of her voice . I bent my face and used my hands to wipe off the sleep then I looked at her tiredly, earning her pitiful look."Chai, don't worry, you will sleep. I just heard his car drive in " she said.I arranged my gown that had somehow rolled up half way my thighs then I wiped my face again. My hair was my signature 'bob' which never stood to rebel against me . I didn't know how she heard a car drive in with the generator noise like a loud trombone. I waited, she waited.A minute.Three minutes .Five minutes ."I thought I heard him drive in " Mrs Idika said, resigned. I turned to her and shook my head tiredly."Come
The sun was at work before I got to work. I parked in the restaurant opposite my work building. Coming down from the car, I saw people gathered downstairs. Not under any shelter but outside! Vulnerable to the diligent sun.From where I stood, it didn't look like a peaceful meeting. I wanted to return to the car and wait for the hurricane to pass then I saw the landlord. He was a tall, scary looking man with his bushy beards that could even hide a small chick. My leg started moving before my brain realised.I crossed the road to where everyone was and began searching for familiar faces but! not madam Chinaka that was vibrating in the crowd. Then I saw Aku, sitting on the rail outside Tunde's office. I breathed a sigh of relief and hurried over to her. She jumped down on seeing me."Aku,
I still could not concentrate the next day at work. I could not even hold my head up to look at Tunde for long. He was leaning against the closed door in my office, his legs crossed at the ankles and his hands in his pocket."What is actually bothering you?" Tunde asked as I cleared clothes off my table and dumped them on the sewing machine. I hopped on to the table, burying my head in my hands."I know that you are bothered about her coming down but didn't you ever want her to know ?"I told myself that I would tell her but I also knew I could not bring myself to tell her. I had to be drunk or not in my right state of mind for me to ever tell my sister that we dated the same man. I had evil plans of ending her relationship with Mathew but not telling her."No" I replied him.I raised my eyes slowly to look at him, to see his reaction. But his face bore no ju
Morning came quickly like it supported my self pity. I lay still in bed, staring in the darkness.A loud banging outside caused me to sit up in alert. It sounded like the rumbling of the heavens but this one came too close as if the clouds had descended to my roof.I unzipped the gown I wore to work the previous day and still sat, hugging myself in anticipation of another one so I would be certain if it was a warning of a heavy rain. Then it came again, a loud banging on the door. It seemed like an attempt to pull down the door not a knock.It was still dark. My hands reached for my phone to check the time, it was a few minutes past five in the morning.I made to the front door and because I was expecting my sister, I ignored all security protocol and opened the door. Ada was there. She was wearing something white. She walked past me into the house. I noted the oversized polo she wore before lo
I started my Sunday morning on a painful note. I did not know which side I was on. I reached out for my phone that was always on the stool close to the bed. The stool wasn't there, I rolled, next thing, I was on the floor. I struggled up, trying to find my way in the darkness, I bumped into a stiff object." Damn ! " I cursed through gritted teeth, rubbing my hand on the object to feel it . It was the sewing machine. I realized then, I was in the guest room. I could not remember where I had kept my phone or any source of light. Off I went, farther into the darkness. I did not bother keeping my eyes open, I just shut it while feeling the walls till I reached the door leading to the parlour. I hit my leg on a stool twice before I found a lantern. I slumped into a couch with a heavy sigh.The rest of my Saturday with Ada was uneventful. It was like we avoided ours
'SPRINGS OF GRACE' was written in clear, bold letters on a banner at the gate. Inside the place was a white storey building, with pillars decorated with colorful ribbons. It was facing the gate and beside it was a bungalow , which I saw children running around .I found a space to park in the parking lot beside other cars. Just with the crowd of cars, I knew it was a big church and I was a little late. I even expected it to be close to the time for church offering.Walking into the church, I felt swallowed up. I did a rough summary of the crowd to expect inside but I was not even close. A female usher came and offered to take my bag, I declined. I needed something to keep my hands busy while I followed her. We moved through the aisle till she found a pew with space. It was the fourth pew in the row.I was mostly grateful for the hymn they were singing that suppressed the sound of my heels and grateful I did not apply
Mathew's gate was grey with a large drawing of a lion head staring in front. The gateman let us in when he saw me. I had asked Ada to wait in the car but she insisted on coming in. "Incase things go out of hand" she said. I knew Mathew. He was not violent. He was mostly quiet but that Mathew I knew was also faithful, truthful and he turned out to be a liar and a cheat. It was like I did not know the person at all.The surrounding was same and very familiar. It was a one storey building. There was the boys quarter opposite the main building where the driver and gate man stayed. His three cars were just being washed by the driver. It was his customary way of washing the three cars every day even when his Oga used just one car for a whole week or more.I rang the doorbell and waited. Ada was tapping the wall rhythmically and humming. I just stood, hugging myself waiting till it would be reasonable to press the