CHAPTER 5

“Okay kids, remember to behave alright, Bob’ll be here any minute now….” just as she was rounded up her little pep rally, the doorbell rang. And I was just there thinking like, why? Why did this whole introduction thing have to take place at my house?! Why?!

I could vaguely make out Brianna hissing, I turned to look at her and I almost chuckled at the pout she had on her face, She was 19 and had just gotten into college at UCLA. Josh was 2 years behind her in senior high.

‘Bob’ walked into the room, more like he strutted in, the wine seemed to keep reminding me of how this was my house and I ought to have a say in whatever happens in it. As soon as he walked in, his eyes went straight to me, his nostrils flared a bit and then he smiled, the wine kept panicking in my head and screaming that he was dangerous, I looked at my Mom and I knew that for her sake, I just had to try. PS I blame a lot of things on wine.

“Kids, this is Bob, Bob, Devonne, Brianna and Josh” my mother said smiling nervously during the introductions.

We proceeded to eating, I really did need the food, considering that my doctor didn’t fail to remind me how hungry I keep myself without even noticing it.

“Devonne is an interesting name” Bob said, by way of starting a conversation.

“Oh yes, her father names her that, it means Divine” my mother smiling even more nervously now. I grimaced, something didn’t feel right, but then again if you’ve lived my life, everything becomes suspicious.

“How long have you been with my mother?” I asked

“Oh just about six months” he replied with a smile that was meant to be kind but looked odd on his face.

Brianna leaned towards me and whispered in my ear, “he looks creepy, something isn’t right”

I was shocked, I was always the skeptical one in the family, for Bri to say something like that….,., something truly must not be right.

“No whispering Brianna, is there something you’d like to say?” My mother asked with a stern look on her face directed at my sister

I looked at Josh and he was picking at his food.

“And six months was enough time to decide you want to spend the rest of your life with her?” I continued like nothing had happened at the table

“Well, your mother is a lovely woman, I don’t see why not” he said looking at her adoringly. My mother blushed and I almost gagged.

“Okay Bob, it’s a pleasure meeting you, but I need to get to my room now, as I have a lotta work to do, please by all means enjoy your dinner, goodnight mom”.

I didn’t even wait for their reply before pushing back from the table and walking out.

“Oh and Bob will be spending the night Devonne” Mom called after me, but I said nothing.

I changed into my night dress and sat cross legged on my chair, pondering over my work emails. Few hours later, there was a knock on my bedroom door, I placed a hand on my gun taped to the underside of the table as I said “come in”

I let out a sigh of relief and released my hold on the gun as I saw that it was just Brianna.

“I’m sorry to intrude Devonne, but I can’t sleep” she said, I looked at my sister and for the first time I noticed how small she looked, like she had folded into herself

“Come sit on the bed” I ordered, I pulled open the drawers on the table and brought out several chocolate and candy bars. I turned up the music a bit

“let’s talk Bri, what’s been going on at school?” I asked while chewing on a candy bar. “Oh nothing really”, she said but I could tell that she was nervous “Do you have a boyfriend?” I tried again, I knew I wasn’t actively involved in her life so I had little tendency to know any of these things. “Yeah, Brian, he plays Basketball, he’s cool I guess”

“Why do you sound like you don’t like him?”

“I do, it’s just…..I feel tired you know, my grades have been dwindling since Mom started talking about a marriage. At first I thought it was because of him, then I knew it wasn’t then it was just ………, I can’t forget all you went through Dev, I can’t”

“Neither can I kiddo, but I just gotta try, you know……for her, she’s been through a lot too” I murmured into her hair while holding her.

“I miss dad, I just want to see him, I still don’t know what happened” she was saying

I just let her talk on and on until she fell asleep on my shoulder, I knew, I knew why my father couldn’t come back, even though he kept the most details from me, I knew more than enough, more than Bri and Josh ever will, I should hate my mom, but I knew that I couldn’t.

My life is just filled with stories, stories I can tell, stories I can’t, stories I wish never happened. Some nights the pain is worse than others. Some mornings I just get so tired and feel so not motivated to do anything. I still visit my father till date, not that I’d let my mom know that anyway, she might even kill me if I decided to take Bri and Josh and she found out somehow. I miss my father, I miss my husband, I miss the little bit of normalcy I was able to hold on to after I came out of the psychiatric hospital. Everything.

I laid Bri on the bed and pulled the covers over her. I walked up to my window, the one overlooking the woods and that’s when I saw it, at first I thought they were fireflies, but when I squinted, I realized that they were eyes. Glowing Amber eyes.

I blinked and they were gone. I felt the pull, but I ignored it, shut my blinds and went back to work. I decided I’d stay in tomorrow. No going to work for me.